Everything I Didn't Say

"Good morning." Luke rasps, looking down on me.

"Morning." I smile, shuffling to get in a sitting position.

Luke looks around the room as if trying not to make eye contact with me as his face reddens.
"Let's get breakfast." He nods, swallowing hard.

"O-okay." I sigh and follow him into his kitchen.

"Good morning Luk-guys." Jack smiles to us, stuttering when he sees me in Luke's shirt. Suddenly I feel uncomfortable as I realize that the only thing I have on underneath this is panties.

"Hey Jack." Luke waves his hands in front of Jack's face to keep him from staring at me.

"I-uh-I made waffles. They're over there." He points to the stacked plate on the counter.

"By the looks of it, I'd think you knew that I was bringing Adeline home with me last night." Luke says whilst handing me a plate and sitting down with me at the table joined by Jack.

"I didn't. Not until..you know..your shower scene.." Jack's smirks and I feel like I could die from embarrassment, although thinking about what Luke and I did last night sends a warm feeling in my private parts.

"Oh." Luke chuckles. "Oops." He shrugs and shovels waffles in his mouth.

"So tell me about yourself, Adeline." Jack says, pointing his fork in my direction.

"Well what do you want to know?" I ask.

"Anything that let's me know I like you." He smiles, and I can't help but blush. His dimples were exactly like Luke's and his hair the same color but different style. His beard was in the same line as Luke's but thicker. If this is what Luke looks like in the future I'm totally okay.

I realize that I'd been staring so I speak up. "Um.. well I mean if you can't tell already, I'm quite an awkward person. I've been this way for as long as I can remember."

Jack nods. "Did you go to the same high school as Lucas?"

Luke groans at the nickname. "Yeah, I did. But I didn't really talk to him much. I-I wasn't in his league." I recall sadly.

"More like you weren't in my league." Luke pipes up. "That's why I didn't talk to you." He says a bit harshly.

I look down at my plate and poke at my food, suddenly becoming full. "Anyways." Jack coughs. "What did you do in high school though? We're you on any teams or clubs?"

I blink a few times to keep myself from crying. "Nope. I was just a bookworm. I was that nerd that didn't fit in to any type of group, who couldn't wait to get home to go see their family because I knew that they were the only ones that excepted me." I clench my jaw so I don't let anymore words come out, feeling like I've said too much as it is.

"Well looks like everything resolved itself. You've got a great boyfriend that I'm sure anyone would kill to have. You're-I'm sure- so much more beautiful than any of the other girls that went to your school. And you've still got your family. You've got it all now."

I lightly laugh at this, knowing that this isn't the case at all. I mean yeah, having Luke as my boyfriend is a win, but I'm still not as beautiful as everyone goes on about, and my family are a whole other story that I don't care to get into at the moment. I bet half of the girls I went to school with in high school have been through college by now and have a nice career to support their perfect families, when I'm here still living with my parents and working a part time job at a pizza restaurant. My life still isn't much better than high school.

"You done?" Luke questions, breaking me from my trance.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah I'm done." I push my plate in his direction as I walk into his bedroom. I go and find a pair of his sweatpants and another shirt that I have to tie on my side to make it fit.

"That's hot." Luke's voice sounds from behind me. He stands there biting his lip at my figure.

"Thanks." I sarcastically smile as he walks over and pulls me into him.

"I love you." He whispers and kisses my nose.

"I love you back." I whisper to him and kiss his mouth. "What's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"What was wrong last night?"

Luke looks at me for a second then sighs and sits on the bed, running his fingers through his hair. "Promise me you won't hate me."

"I promise Luke. Nothing you do will make me hate you."

"I'm not so sure about that." He mumbles, then starts. "We weren't even dating when this happened, but I met this girl at a club one night when I was trying to accept the fact that you hated me and this girl came up to me. I found out her name, and we went to her car. But it meant nothing, Addy I promise you. "

I stay silent for a while and remember the hickey on his neck that day when I went over to check on him. He said that he had a cold and didn't want to get up, but it was to hide the hickey. The truth is, is that they all had hangovers because.. because Luke and his friends went to the club and Luke hooked up with a girl. "That was when I woke up in your bed, and I left afterwards. Then I'm guessing you went out and.."

"Adeline I'm sorry. You hated me and I didn't think I had a chance with you, so I went to get my mind off of things and one thing lead to another."

I sigh obviously hurt. "Why are you telling me this now? How come your all the sudden letting this get to you when you've failed to tell me over the past-what?-four months?"

"Well.. she's back.." He slowly drags out. "She walked into my work and started flirting with me and stuff, but I didn't give in. Actually I let another one of my co-workers help her out."

"What's her name?"

"Amanda." He answers like a whip. "Are you mad?" He asks after I go silent again.

I shake my head. "I have no right to be. We weren't dating when this happened, so it's not like you were cheating on me. You could say I'm hurt that you haven't told me about it. But I'm not mad. Just as long as nothing else has happened between you two since she came to your work."

Luke let's out a sigh of relief. "Nothing has happened, I promise. I'm sorry that I hurt you and I will make it up to you, okay?"

"Alright." I nod, but dodge his kiss as he comes closer to me.

He looks at me with hurt in his eyes, but seems to then understand my pain. "I understand." He says sadly. "Let me take you home."

~Xx~

I didn't give Luke a goodbye kiss or hug as he dropped me off at the corner of my house so my parents wouldn't see me with him. It hurt knowing that he kept something like this from me for so long. Like I said before, I wasn't mad. I had no right to be since it wasn't like we were dating when he decided to shack with her. It just hurts, you know?

"Where have you been Adeline Anderson!?" Mum shouts through the house.

"With a friend." I calmly answer, setting my bag on the chair in the kitchen.

"Are those your friends clothes?" She sneers looking me up and down. "I bet you were with that Luke boy weren't you. "

"And what if I was?" I raise my voice at her.

"So you were?" She asks in disbelief.

"No but what if I was? I'm 20 years old, you can't keep me from him."

"Why would you even want to be around anyone who has caused you as much pain as this boy has? Seeing you come home crying from school, not wanting to get up out of bed in the morning. Losing all your friends and wanting to move out of this state. Everything you are today comes down to the way he has treated you all your life, and it kills me to see you this way. Addy you can't even look at yourself in the mirror anymore because of him."

I bite my lip as hard as I can, but nothing that I do stops me from the tears splashing down my face. Mum was right, everything she is saying is right. All he has done is tear me down from the start, and just because I say he's my boyfriend doesn't stop me from the pain. I mean look at me now-hurting from his pain once again. And how many times has this happened since we've been together? All the pain from my life has been caused by him and it hasn't stopped. Maybe if I did let him go everything would be better. Maybe I can finally get away from the pain and start a life of my own on a clean slate.

What make my heart hurt more is that I still love him. I still can't imagine a life without Luke Hemmings, but I maybe me leaving him is for the best.

Notes

What do you think will happen? Do you think that what Adeline's mother said is true? And do you agree with what Adeline is contemplating with herself? Let me know what you think!
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Much Love,
UnknownRocker