Everything I Didn't Say

The early morning light shined in my face this morning. I tried to hide myself in my pillow and under my blanket, but that only lead to me being smothered. I groan and traipse my way into my bathroom, falling over the stuffed penguin and a few of his shirts. I almost picked one up just to smell it, but I decided against it and let it be. I didn't even realize why he had to be that way. I was with Calum to help him at the market and as soon as I got back in the car, I would've let him know that I'd be late.

Luke hasn't tried to call me or contact me ever since the fight, and neither have I. This is going the same way it did last time, but this time I don't think I can take it. I'm not going to be able to handle the tears that are to come, I won't be able to handle the awful aching of missing him. This time will kill me.

"Addy?" My mum knocks on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yes?"

"Come on we're going to be late." She says.

I roll my eyes, and I'm thankful for the door that blocks her view from me. "Ma it's just a sunrise."

"But it's not our sunrise." She retorts, and I can hear her footsteps walk out into the hallway. Today we are going to this place where you can watch the sun rise from different places in the world. The idea seems nice, but the reality of waking up at the ass crack of dawn and driving an hour away from here to watch a stupid sunrise is completely ridiculous.

I step out of the bathroom and grab some clothes for me to wear for the day. I soon decide on a pair of short shorts and Luke's 'I don't trust me either' tank that makes me look like I'm wearing a dress, and some converse.

~Xx~

Caleb kept falling asleep on me the whole way there, and Shelby was either complaining about how she didn't want to be here, or she was on her phone flirting with another guy. Sometimes she would even interrogate me about Luke.

"It's so beautiful." Mum already starts and we haven't even done anything.

"It's just the building, ma." I groan not caring to show my annoyance. I've been wondering here lately why I was ever okay with all this family time. I can hardly stand them now.

"Nicer tone please." Dad simply states without even looking at me. Instead, he places a hand on my mothers back and walks us all in the building.

Inside the carpets lined the walkways with signs for the tourists like us. Following the signs, we make our way into the room where we will be watch the suns from all over the world. I sigh as I take my seat next to Caleb and Shelby, and wait for this to be over with. I pull out my phone and check to see if Luke had said anything to me yet, but I get nothing. Of course, I would've known if he would've tried to contact me. Lets face it, I would've jumped the second I found out.

"Any luck?" Shelby leans over, staring at the screen on my phone.

"Fuck off, Shelby." I harshly whisper.

Soon enough this thing starts and the main speaker guy pulls up this live map with all sorts of different states on them. The cameras that overlooked the area gave you a view of that particular geography. My eyes pulled to America. I couldn't see what state it was in, but there were many trees and hills and just such a bumpy complexity. My interests soon disappears when I feel a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. I look around the room for an exit I could get out of without my parents noticing, and something catches my eye.

Michael stands outside the room leaned over the banister with a phone pressed to his ear. His hair was no longer green, it was now pink. Quickly, I glance over to my parents as they were caught in a trance. Caleb and Shelby were lost in there phones and I wonder if they've always done that. Without a word, I silently get up from my seat and slip out of the room.
"Mikey?" I ask, hoping that there's not somebody else here with pink hair that looks like Michael.

"Adeline. What brings you here?" He wonders, putting his phone down to his side.

"Family." I sigh and dramatically roll my eyes. "You?"

"My dad works here." He nods to the room I was just in.

"Your dad is that speaker?"

"Sure is. That's why you haven't seen much of me. I've been with my dad, but on top of that I've been sick." As if on cue he coughs.

"Your parents are divorced?"

"Something like that." He nods.

"Elaborate."

Michael sighs and rubs his hands on his face. "It's complicated. They hate each other but they love each other. They don't want to be together, but they can't be without each other. Their finally over the stage where they blame it on me. When they said that they only stay together because of me. I think it was easier that way to be honest. At least then they had some sort of stability."

"Mikey, I'm sorry I had no idea." I shake my head, and wrap him in a hug.

Through it all, he actually smiles. "I'm just trying to get over this sickness."

"Uhh." I groan and pull away from him, not wanting to get sick with him.

"You and Luke still going strong?" I don't reply. I awkwardly start swaying my foot back and forth. "What happened?" Michael asks.

I shrug. "Pretty much jealousy that was blown way out of proportion."

"What was he jealous of?" Mikey slightly snickers, somehow finding this even the least bit amusing.

"Me and Cal. Or wait excuse me, Cal-UM." I put more emphasis on the last syllable of his name.

"Who the fuck is jealous of Calum? Calum is calum. He can't help it that he's naturally cuddly and squishy." Michael shrugs nonchalantly.

"That's what I'm saying." I say, trying to laugh but the pain that shoots through my heart is almost unbearable. I turn back around to hide the tears and I catch a glimpse of my parents talking to my cousin and sister. Probably getting suspicious that I wasn't there. "I should get back. They'll never let me hear the end of it, if I they find out I skipped half of it."

"Sure, sure." Michael nods.

"I'll see you later, yeah?" I ask before walking away.

"I should be back this weekend. Good luck with Luke!" He calls as I return to my family, as I lie to them and tell them there was a line at the bathroom.

~Xx~

After the long day with my family, I literally throw myself on the bed, locking the door behind me to shut everyone out for the day. I take off my shorts and shoes, but leave on Luke's tank and my panties and curl up in a bawl on my bed. The wind rushes through the window sending cold chills down my legs, so I get up and attempt to close it.

"Wait, wait! Don't close it!" Luke's voice calls from the lawn he was running up to.

My heart flutters as I wait for him to get here. I was angry, but I wasn't going to tell him to go away. "Can I come up?" He questions.

I just nod, not being able to trust my voice. "Nice shirt." He smiles a little.

"Thanks."

"Addy, I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I guess I just felt a little hurt that you weren't going to be at the field that day, and I blew things out of proportion."

"Luke, I was going to be there no matter what. I was going to let you know that I would be late. I wouldn't just leave you hanging like that. That's not who I am."

"I know that." He nods. "Which is why this time it's going to be different. We're not going to scream at each other and ignore each other for days on end. I think it's better to just say what we have to say and talk about it."

"I don't want to go to America anymore." I blurt out.

Luke swallows hard. "What?"

I sigh loudly and plop on my bed. "I mean of course I want to go, but this is just too much to ask. That's another reason why you probably were set off so easily, with being stressed about getting enough money to go on a trip."

"Adeline if you want to go, we'll go. I'll give you anything I can."

"That's the thing. You can't, let's just face it. I'm not mad it's just these are one of those things that only exist in a dream. Maybe one day in the far future if we're both still together, we'll go and accomplish this dream. For now I think we should just keep this on our bucket list"

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Luke cautiously asks. I nod. "We'll I got kicked out of my mum's house."

"What?"

"Yeah I'm living with Jack at the moment."

"I'm sorry." I say and yawn at the same time.

"I'll explain it tomorrow. You sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." Luke says and begins walking towards the window.

"Luke stay." A smile tugs at his lips and he strips down to his boxers and lays with me as he traces circles around my bare thighs.

"You look really hot in my shirt." He says whilst kissing my ear.

"Goodnight, Luke." I giggle.

"I love you. A lot." He yawns too.

"I love you too. A lot."

Notes