Real love tested.
chapter 21
But I missed as I am not at all paying any attention.
“Are you sure you’re ok baby, you have been acting weird all day.” Yea I’m fine I told you.
“Are you sure.” Harry said.
“OH MY GOD I TOLD YOU I AM FINE”.
I yelled out to Harry.
I then took a step back and realised how loud I was, I look to Harry whose jaw just dropped and placed his head down to the floor. After that Niall came running in the room asking if everything was ok. Harry’s response was “Yea fine mate, I just tried to ask my girlfriend how she was feeling”. I feel so bad and watch Harry walk away knowing it’s my entire fault. I then plonk myself on the couch use both my hands to cover my face and try not to cry. Niall then comes beside me and puts his arms around me, he is the only one really who knows what is going on. He instructs me that I should really tell Harry what is going on, but I’m still a bit hesitant, what if he runs away?
People just don’t understand having a long time illness just does not affect the individual going through it, but everyone else supporting them around it feels it just the same.
I get up off the couch and thank Niall for his kind words and set off to find Harry. I look in his room, the gym, the pool, then into my room but he is nowhere to be found. It then gets me thinking where he could he possibly be, and then it hit me I know where he is.
I make my way down to the park where Harry and I had our date a few nights ago I see him sitting on the grass playing with his phone, and I approach him.
“Hey” I said to him, it felt like I was taking to a stranger.
“Hi”. He replies back as he looks up at me and continues to scroll up and down his Twitter on his phone.
I sit myself down and grab the phone out of his hand. And say to him.
“There is something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” He asks.
As I am about to proceed and tell him everything his phone goes off and it’s an incoming call from Simon, I grab the phone and give it to him.
“Sorry babe I need to take this”
“Yea it’s cool.”
It then really hits me it’s a sign by the phone ringing maybe I shouldn’t tell Harry. I’m all of a sudden feeling that maybe we aren’t meant for each other, I want us to be though I have never felt this love in all my life I really want Harry to be my forever. But my life is a constant roller coaster and Harry success is really taking off I don’t want to burden him with my problems. I see him on the phone across the field leaning against a tree. I just continue to stare at him, his tall stature, his black t-shirt and black jeans and his perfect curled hair. I am thinking to myself I don’t want to put him under any pressure if he wants out of the relationship due to my extra baggage being my health and it being very unpredictable he can leave and I would totally understand. But I don’t see Harry as that guy he has expressed my love to me on many occasions and always states he will always be there for me.
“Sorry important call from Uncle Simon.” Harry came back and sat next to me. “What did you want to tell me?”