This Is Us
27. We Can Survive
Three Days Later
Niall’s POV
My eyes scan over the people in the living room. Accompanying my family was Harry, Selena, Carolina, Diana, Liam, Sophia, and Casey, they flew down for a few days anyways so it’s good that they are here.
I gulp gently as I stand before them, they were all seated in various places across the room. Jana, however, was by my side, holding onto my hand tight. She knew what I was feeling, and she knew how bad it fucking hurt.
As I take a deep breath in to begin my sentence, a single tear fell from the corner of my eye, slowing going down my cheek. I didn’t speak, not until it fell down to the floor. It wasn’t until I spoke that I realized it wasn’t to be the only one.
‘’My mom.. was.. doing a check up.. the other day.. and.. The doctors.. they told her.. that.. she has.. lung cancer.’’ I sigh lightly, clenching my jaw as I hear some of the gasps, mainly from the older ones here.
‘’Oh my god.’’ Harry’s words didn’t shock me much, he cared a lot, and I always appreciated that about him. ‘’She.. she..’’ I couldn’t say it, it was the worst part of this entire situation. The complete worst.
‘’Ni.’’ Jana’s voice was soft and gentle. My eyes started flooding like crazy, my emotions couldn’t be held in any longer. I had to release the pain, I had to. I fucking had to.
Jana’s POV
I grab Niall by his waist and spin him around to face me. But before I could make another move, his head fell on my shoulder once again for the past three days, I know it won’t be the last time either.
His arms go around the small of my back as he cries on my shoulder, his heart broken, all of his hope lost. I start to get a little teary myself, I was trying to be strong but I couldn’t, not after this.
I put one hand on the back of his neck, the other on the back of his head, holding him against me. I don’t say anything, I just hold him. He liked it better when I held him, especially when he was like this, and over something as serious as this.
‘’Is.. Is Nana.. gonna.. gonna die?’’ I tightly close my eyes, letting the tears leak through my eyelids as I hear Tristan ask his aloud, hoping for anyone to answer. And Niall, God help him, he squeezed me tight, crying even more, wetting through my shirt.
‘’Li.. take the little ones up stairs.’’ I hear Sophia say, I’m mentally thanking her. ‘’Why can’t we be normal for once!’’ Taylor’s voice echoed through the room as he yelled his, I knew he was crying because of the way his voice sounded.
‘’Taylor!’’ Tori calls out, I hear her footsteps and soon her voice was gone. I didn’t know who was left, and I didn’t care really, I was just trying to get Niall to relax. ‘’Jana.’’ I heard Harry whisper my name, but I didn’t answer. I felt him touch my arm, but I still don’t open my eyes.
A few more minutes passed and I could hear Liam sigh, another hand touching my arm.
"What.. what.. what was.. Niall trying to say?’’ Selena asks, her voice closer to. I open my eyes, but I couldn’t move much more because Niall was still releasing his tears onto my shoulder, which was okay with me.
‘’She.. she told us.. she doesn’t.. want to do the.. the radiation.. she wants to.. to go now. She.. she doesn’t want to suffer.’’ I tell them what Maura told us earlier. The thing that crushed Niall the most.
‘’Niall, I’m so sorry.’’ Liam says. Niall sniffs in my ear a few times as he goes to lean up. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears. I let my arms fall as he steps back, looking at us before shaking his head lightly, turning around slowly and rushing out of the room.
‘’Ni-‘’ ‘’No.’’ I cut off Harry by grabbing his wrist. ‘’He needs his time.’’ I add as I release Harry, sighing to myself. ‘’So.. Maura.. just.. wants to die peacefully?’’ Sophia mumbles lightly, looking at me sadly.
I nod lightly to her, the question was hard to answer, but I had to because they were wondering. The truth hurts, and this truth hurts like hell.
“Baby?’’ I call out as I shut the bedroom door. The balcony doors were open, the cool night breeze coming in the room. It was a good thing to have, it began to calm me down some. I sigh as I see Niall on the bed, his arms behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling, the lamps on to provide some light.
I go over to the bed, my side of course. As I sit my phone on the nightstand, I glance over at him, but he hadn’t even moved at all. My fingers find their way to the button of my jeans. I undo the button and unzip them, pushing them down to my ankles.
At the moment I didn’t feel like going to put them in the hamper, so I just left them there. I pull my socks off next, sitting them on top of my jeans. I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head, the cool air producing goosebumps on my skin.
For a second I thought of taking my belly button ring out, but I don’t because I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I reach behind my back and unclasp my bra. I slide it off and let it join the rest of my clothes.
I was going to go get a shirt, but I saw that Niall had the one he was wearing earlier lying beside him, so instead I just grabbed it and threw it on. I don’t dare say anything as I turn off my lamp and pull the covers back, getting under them and pulling them back over me.
It was a little cold in here, and I really wanted to snuggle with Ni, but you know… he’s not in the mood for anything now, and I’m afraid to do anything that will involve him. But yet, I let my fear overpass and I slide over beside him, putting my arm around his torso as I roll onto my side to face him.
‘’Good night, Ni. I love you.’’ I whisper softly as I close my eyes, getting as close as I can to him.
I was shocked and surprised I felt him shift a little, but just his upper body. Then I realized why as his arm came around me, holding me close. ‘’I love you too, baby.’’ He whispers back.
I smile a little, thanking God for this. I thought Niall would be moody and depressed, but he actually isn’t. I know what it like is to lose a parent. And it’s going to be really hard, especially on him.
But we can make it. We can survive. We’ve made it this far, we can make it through anything God puts in our way. It’s there for a purpose, and in order to further succeed, we must overcome it in some way.
Niall’s POV
My eyes scan over the people in the living room. Accompanying my family was Harry, Selena, Carolina, Diana, Liam, Sophia, and Casey, they flew down for a few days anyways so it’s good that they are here.
I gulp gently as I stand before them, they were all seated in various places across the room. Jana, however, was by my side, holding onto my hand tight. She knew what I was feeling, and she knew how bad it fucking hurt.
As I take a deep breath in to begin my sentence, a single tear fell from the corner of my eye, slowing going down my cheek. I didn’t speak, not until it fell down to the floor. It wasn’t until I spoke that I realized it wasn’t to be the only one.
‘’My mom.. was.. doing a check up.. the other day.. and.. The doctors.. they told her.. that.. she has.. lung cancer.’’ I sigh lightly, clenching my jaw as I hear some of the gasps, mainly from the older ones here.
‘’Oh my god.’’ Harry’s words didn’t shock me much, he cared a lot, and I always appreciated that about him. ‘’She.. she..’’ I couldn’t say it, it was the worst part of this entire situation. The complete worst.
‘’Ni.’’ Jana’s voice was soft and gentle. My eyes started flooding like crazy, my emotions couldn’t be held in any longer. I had to release the pain, I had to. I fucking had to.
Jana’s POV
I grab Niall by his waist and spin him around to face me. But before I could make another move, his head fell on my shoulder once again for the past three days, I know it won’t be the last time either.
His arms go around the small of my back as he cries on my shoulder, his heart broken, all of his hope lost. I start to get a little teary myself, I was trying to be strong but I couldn’t, not after this.
I put one hand on the back of his neck, the other on the back of his head, holding him against me. I don’t say anything, I just hold him. He liked it better when I held him, especially when he was like this, and over something as serious as this.
‘’Is.. Is Nana.. gonna.. gonna die?’’ I tightly close my eyes, letting the tears leak through my eyelids as I hear Tristan ask his aloud, hoping for anyone to answer. And Niall, God help him, he squeezed me tight, crying even more, wetting through my shirt.
‘’Li.. take the little ones up stairs.’’ I hear Sophia say, I’m mentally thanking her. ‘’Why can’t we be normal for once!’’ Taylor’s voice echoed through the room as he yelled his, I knew he was crying because of the way his voice sounded.
‘’Taylor!’’ Tori calls out, I hear her footsteps and soon her voice was gone. I didn’t know who was left, and I didn’t care really, I was just trying to get Niall to relax. ‘’Jana.’’ I heard Harry whisper my name, but I didn’t answer. I felt him touch my arm, but I still don’t open my eyes.
A few more minutes passed and I could hear Liam sigh, another hand touching my arm.
"What.. what.. what was.. Niall trying to say?’’ Selena asks, her voice closer to. I open my eyes, but I couldn’t move much more because Niall was still releasing his tears onto my shoulder, which was okay with me.
‘’She.. she told us.. she doesn’t.. want to do the.. the radiation.. she wants to.. to go now. She.. she doesn’t want to suffer.’’ I tell them what Maura told us earlier. The thing that crushed Niall the most.
‘’Niall, I’m so sorry.’’ Liam says. Niall sniffs in my ear a few times as he goes to lean up. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears. I let my arms fall as he steps back, looking at us before shaking his head lightly, turning around slowly and rushing out of the room.
‘’Ni-‘’ ‘’No.’’ I cut off Harry by grabbing his wrist. ‘’He needs his time.’’ I add as I release Harry, sighing to myself. ‘’So.. Maura.. just.. wants to die peacefully?’’ Sophia mumbles lightly, looking at me sadly.
I nod lightly to her, the question was hard to answer, but I had to because they were wondering. The truth hurts, and this truth hurts like hell.
“Baby?’’ I call out as I shut the bedroom door. The balcony doors were open, the cool night breeze coming in the room. It was a good thing to have, it began to calm me down some. I sigh as I see Niall on the bed, his arms behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling, the lamps on to provide some light.
I go over to the bed, my side of course. As I sit my phone on the nightstand, I glance over at him, but he hadn’t even moved at all. My fingers find their way to the button of my jeans. I undo the button and unzip them, pushing them down to my ankles.
At the moment I didn’t feel like going to put them in the hamper, so I just left them there. I pull my socks off next, sitting them on top of my jeans. I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head, the cool air producing goosebumps on my skin.
For a second I thought of taking my belly button ring out, but I don’t because I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I reach behind my back and unclasp my bra. I slide it off and let it join the rest of my clothes.
I was going to go get a shirt, but I saw that Niall had the one he was wearing earlier lying beside him, so instead I just grabbed it and threw it on. I don’t dare say anything as I turn off my lamp and pull the covers back, getting under them and pulling them back over me.
It was a little cold in here, and I really wanted to snuggle with Ni, but you know… he’s not in the mood for anything now, and I’m afraid to do anything that will involve him. But yet, I let my fear overpass and I slide over beside him, putting my arm around his torso as I roll onto my side to face him.
‘’Good night, Ni. I love you.’’ I whisper softly as I close my eyes, getting as close as I can to him.
I was shocked and surprised I felt him shift a little, but just his upper body. Then I realized why as his arm came around me, holding me close. ‘’I love you too, baby.’’ He whispers back.
I smile a little, thanking God for this. I thought Niall would be moody and depressed, but he actually isn’t. I know what it like is to lose a parent. And it’s going to be really hard, especially on him.
But we can make it. We can survive. We’ve made it this far, we can make it through anything God puts in our way. It’s there for a purpose, and in order to further succeed, we must overcome it in some way.
Notes
||♥I love ya guys! Lots of updates to check up on the days I missed! Heads up**I will probably be updating slightly less because I'm going to have my little angel here soon. Message Me if you want to know more about my situation, my beautiful situation that is. And keep those comments coming! I luv you! **If you live in the US i would LOVE to get to know you. Please message me, I really need some good friends to have in case i need some advice :) I mean, I have friends, but I moved off and ya know.. all that stuff. Thanks loves for being patients on the updates, luv ya!♥||
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@samie_horan
His mom, remember it was a whole chapter about it before??
10/18/15