Lullaby

Time went by extremely quick. A little too quick. Each tick that went by twisted the knife in my stomach further. Amber was currently in the shower. I remember the countless arguments we used to have over how long she spends in the shower. Now we hardly speak to words to each other.My eyes subtly rolled as mum gossiped about the failing marriage between the Smiths. I found myself shocked at the fact I couldn't stop thinking about Harry. I wanted to see him,hear that annoying little nickname, wonderwall. I just really wanted to see him smile. "mum, can I go to the youth meeting at church? Lucy's going so I thought I should check it out" Mum lowered her phone and gazed at me. " what changed your mind" She asked slowly as she looked at me suspiciously. Mum knows I never go out, I avoid any kind of social interaction.

I racked my mum for a believable. "I want to be more involved, you're always saying I should" I smiled as I watched her face light up. Despite this, she sighs. "Oasis, im glad you're getting involved but please give me notice" mum says while putting the phone back to her ear. She walks into the kitchen getting the car keys. I make myself upstairs and look into the wall length mirror. I inwardly groan. My boobs and bum are basically non exsistant. My eyebrows are bushy and my fashion sense makes me look like Im a 60 year old. Oh, Im also too pale.I constantly look like im Ill. Harry probably found me a massive joke. Amber suddenly comes and leans on my door, wearing nothing but a towel on her hair and body. Her arms were crossed and a huge smirk was displayed on her face. "I know that look"Amber says while having a weird tone in her voice. "You're meeting a gu-- um girl" Amber rushed "oh my God, I like boys Amber" we both laugh.

Amber threw her towel of her hair while we sit and talk. She flipped her hair and I saw something that made my eyes go wide. "Amber, what's that" I ask as I stare hopelessly at her wrist. Scars, burns and cut explore her whole arms and thighs. Her face loses colour while she looks down at her wrist like she doesn't know what im on about, like the injuries weren't actually there. "Nothing" she says while quickly walking out of my room. "Do not walk away from me" I shout as I run after her. Tears form behind my eyes."Oasis, just leave it. Its fine" She says while she fakes a smile."Leave it?" I scoff "how am I supposed to leave it when your" Amber slams her door shut. "Will you keep your voice down" I run a sweaty hand through my hair, trying to calm my nerves. "tell me why you're doing this to yourself, because I don't understand" tears fall freely from my eyes. "It helps control my feelings"

I suddenly felt anger over power me. I run to her draws and start to through everything out the draws. I needed to find the blade. "where is it? where do you hide it" My voice was muffled from the sobs and my eyes were blurred from the tears. Amber grabs my body roughly and pulls me so I'm facing her. "we're meant to be sisters, you're meant to talk to me" my body falls to the ground. I felt as though I was the one to blame. "maybe If I done more, or if---" Amber cut me off by wrapping her arms around me. "Dont you dare blame yourself, you helped me more than anyone" She rested her head against mine. Her voice was soft and warm. "how long" I dreaded the answer. "8 months, since dad" She bit her lip as a tear escaped her blue eyes at the memory of father. " we all went through losing Dad, not just you! we didn't self destruct either" I scream as I stand up. "we're meant to be sisters, you're meant to talk to me, not hide"
"please don't tell mum. Oasis, promise you wont tell mum"on her shelf was a picture of both Amber and I when she was 6 and I was 4. We were sat on the beach next to some sand castle that wasn't that impressive... but we were happy. My fists went white as I clenched the photo frame. Without thought I throw it aggressively at the wall." I know im a fuck up.I fuck things up that's what I do" she whispered as she stared at the glass splatters on the floor. "you need help, Amber"

I sat on the wall waiting for Harry. My feet kicked against it like a endless cycle."Didn't think church girl would actually turn up" Harry said in my ear.His hot breath felt good against my skin." Neither did I to be honest"I tried to laugh but instead... I cried."Listen, im not good with the crying thing but I am a good listener" He took a seat next to me. Hesitantly he put an arm around him.His scent was heavenly. His ripped skinny jeans a rolling stones shirt made him look amazing. "you know, I failed my Gcse's because I didn't care about anything"Harry's voice was soft and caring. "and over time I accepted it, now I'm fine with it. Moral of the story is, we cant change the world because the world doesn't hand you the cards you want" I sat up and wiped under my eyes. " when did you get your first tattoo, you have so many" I sniffled as I put my hands in my pockets. I moved away from Harry, I wasn't used to this kind of closeness. "when I was 15, I guess I liked it, 3 years later I don't know how to stop" Harry stood up and put his hand out "lets go"
"go where?"
"your first lesson"

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