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Lullaby

One

Damn Sundays, damn church and damn mum for making me go. She doesn't understand that shouting my name as loud as she can will make me hurry, if anything it'll make me go slower. I looked at myself in the mirror. Nothing about me was impressive. My hair was shoulder length, my nose was narrow and my eyes, well they were just as boring as everything else. Brown, just a plain brown. With one last groan, i vastly exited my room. My sister Amber is what mother calls a sinner. She spends most of her time in her bedroom, barely eating. im not stupid.I know these are textbook signs of depression. Why cant mum see that she needs help? God cant help with everything.

Timidly, i walk down our crossed filled hallway that houses pictures of God, unlike a normal family, not one picture of our family is hung up on the wall, nor is baby pictures. Pictures of God is so unnerving. You constantly feel him watching, even when your alone in the shower. Its so creepy. I shuddered at the thought. "hey Amber, you okay" i say as i look at her body sprawled out on her unmade bed. On her bedside table was a empty bottle of vodka. My stomach clenched at the thought of her drinking away her problems. Her room stinks of rotten pizza and self pity. Amber's curtain are still shut, eliminating any light trying to invade her room. All over her black room was band posters of which Ive never heard before. Her tight ripped skinny jeans were allover the room. Its strange how someones behavior can effect even the littlest of aspects of someones life.

I was always envious of Amber's naturally blonde hair, maybe that's why she dyed it to black. Everything about her that used to be so colorful and lively are now drowning in darkness.
"are you coming to church?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Mum would never allow her to come anyway. Its obviously too much of an embarrassment to have a daughter that's different to mum and her lifestyle. Whereas with me, i was a clone of everything mum ever was. Amber put her pillow over her face, further eliminating any kind of contact with people. "go away" her voice was muffled, it became obvious the vodka was punishing her today. I was about to speak before mother cut me off. "Oasis, for goodness sake hurry up, we're going to be late" her stern frighting voice carried throughout our house. Shutting Amber's door, i ran downstairs. " Oasis, you know i like to be there before the smiths. honestly" she rolled her sky blue eyes at me as she grabbed her car keys from the kitchen. "sorry, mum" i said as i glared up at the small cross on the wall.

The ride to church consisteed of mother talking rudely about the Smiths and their drug abusing son. If i wasn't mistaken, i almost felt like she was happy at their sons pain. Regardless, I nodded away like i was actually listening. Mum found the usual parking space that she has for 7 years now. To her dismay, Mr and Mrs Smith was already here. There body language and the smile that doesn't reach their eyes told me something was obviously going wrong in their life's. Their hope was solely based on God. "Damn it" Mum said as she smacked her hands on the steering wheel. She gave a dirty look at the sad family. The street were filled with old people enjoying the pleasant weather and talking amongst themselves. "what in Gods name is--"
Mum spotted something that obviously she didn't apporve of. "mum, please don't make a scene, people will see" i implore. "Oasis, do not use that whiney tone with me" she said as she stuck her index finger at me as though i was a dog.With that she slammed the car door shut and i swear I almost felt the car shake. I quickly make my way over to mums side as i witness what has made mum so unreasonable. 3 unconscious bodies beside the church, crumbling the pretty flowers while doing so. Beside them was the biggest temptation of all, alcohol. I couldn't help but think, are these the kind of people Amber should hang around with? Mums vein stuck out as she tried to calmly comprehend what on earth is happening. I was trying to figure out if they were unbelievably stupid or if they just have a major death wish. Either way, they're in for one hell of a scolding from none other than the queen of scolding. She went mad when i dropped coke on the new carpet so its undetermined how shes going to react to this. This was Gods house of innocence and worship, not a place of defilement and sins.

"This is the house of God, not a place to lay your sinful adolescent bodies!! " She shouted as all three boys rub their temples. Dad used to always tell me a hangover was Gods way of disowning you, wiping his hands of your sins. My stomach quivers at the thought. "chill lady, we just needed a place to crash" a blonde boys says.His voice was thick with the Irish accent. His arms were littered in tattoos. Mum always told me before going to bed that boys like these, poison the world. After every time she would read my favorite fairytale, the little mermaid, that boys that express themselves through body art are devil worshipers, consumed by the darkness on their arms. "crash? crash! how about you crash in a cell, better yet,I'm going to call your parents" she pointed her index finger at the now amused boys."Oasis, call 999" she tried to scare them. You could tell by the way her hand was on her boney hip, and the smirk that didn't do her justice. "oasis? isn't that a bands name?" a rather attractive boy says, like the blonde boy,his arm too was drowning in tattoos.His curly hair was messy and held back by a green bandanna. His eyes were a deep green color which reminded me of something pure like summer, which is a contrast to the rest of his body.
"Its also a name" i mumbled quietly, my eyes locking onto the floor. "Do not talk to these scum, Oasis, and hurry up with that phone" as i go to turn around my body completely froze. "don't talk to her like that" the attractive one defended me. His voice held so much anger, it frightened both me and mother. Heat came gushing to my cheeks as i turn around to face him. No boy ever to interest in stupid church girl. "how dare you talk to me that way" mother carried on. No one has ever won a fight against mother."come on Harry, they're not worth it" the third boy said as they grabbed Harry's wrist. Our eyes locked together tightly. My breathing was jaggeder as he bit his lip suggestively at me. "if i see your faces around here again, i will call the police" mum shouted as the the three boys walked away without a care in the world