Believe
002. Cause and Effects
||Next Day : June 4th, 2015 : London||
“Hey mom.’’ I mumble gently as she sits down on my couch beside me. She came to London to visit me. The record label I was signed to was in London, and so was the one I owned. So I decided to move here about a year ago. But I have an apartment in Mullingar for when I go visit family and friends.
“Yes love?’’ She asks me. ‘’Um.. I just realized.. what today was.’’ I sigh out gently. ‘’Its Thursday, darling.’’ She says with a light smile. ‘’No.. I mean.. the date.’’ I correct my self.
“It’s the fourth of June..’’ She says, looking over at me. ‘’Mom.. I know. I mean like.. something happened on this day.. something.. important to me.’’ I sigh, not really blaming her for her answers though, they were legit.
“Oh, well what happened?’’ She asks, curiously. ‘’Its been five years since.. I met.. um.. uh.’’ I didn’t really know how to say it. It was a hard topic for me and her to discuss, only because she thought differently about it then I had.
‘’Chanel.’’ She mumbles the name like it was a sin to say it any louder. ‘’Yeah.. Chanel.’’ I gulp gently, staring at the floor with my lips rolled in, holding back the tears that I know are coming later on tonight.
‘’Oh Niall, please don’t think of her. She’s nothing to you anymore.’’ Mom tells me. ‘’That’s wrong.. mom.. its wrong.’’ I say. ‘’And why is it wrong?’’ She asks. ‘’Because.. Chanel has always been something to me.. and she always will be.’’ I tell her. ‘’No..’’ She shakes her lightly in protest.
I sigh to myself, knowing that this won’t get me any where. ‘’Yes.’’ I mumble. ‘’Niall that girl isn’t good for you to think about. She’s.. she’s poisoned your mind.’’ Mom says, this didn’t shock me one bit.
‘’No. She hasn’t. She.. she was my everything, Mom. Why can’t you just realize that already?’’ I ask, looking over at her to see she was staring at her bracelet. ‘’Because.. she hurt you.’’ Mom whispers.
‘’Mom.. I love Chanel.’’ I tell her, like I always try to convince her, but she never truly believes me. ‘’Oh, Niall don’t stay that garbage. You don’t know what love is.’’ She fires back, still not looking over at me.
‘’Yes I do.’’ I assure her. ‘’Hush.’’ She demands. ‘’Chanel only hurt me because I hurt her first.’’ I remind her. ‘’Niall.. if this girl really loved you, which I doubt very so, she would still be in your life, now wouldn’t she?’’ She asks, looking over at me and raising her eyebrows.
‘’Mom.. her parents..’’ I sigh out. ‘’Romeo and Juliet’s parents didn’t want them to be together..’’ She sighs. She always pull that shit with me. Romeo this, Juliet that. Cinderella did such, Ariel did whatever.
‘’Mom.. I’m not a little kid. Okay. I don’t care what Romeo and Juliet did.’’ I say. ‘’What I’m saying, Niall, is that if you really loved her, you would fight for it.’’ She mumbles. ‘’I’m not disrespecting her parents.’’ I tell her. ‘’Then it isn’t love.’’ She fires back.
‘’And what would you know about love?’’ I scoff. ‘’I was in love once Niall..’’ She reminds me. ‘’Yeah, and now you’re divorced.’’ I remind her too. ‘’Niall..’’ she sighs, rolling her eyes. I always pulled the d-card on her when she would talk about love. ‘’Apparently you weren’t.’’ I say.
‘’Well, I wasn’t the one that treid to kill my self.’’ She says with a laugh. ‘’Its not funny.’’ ‘’So its okay for you to talk about my past, but I can’t talk about you and that girl’s past?’’ She asks, raising her eyebrows.
‘’That girl has a name, Mother.’’ I say. I only use mother when I’m extremely pissed off at her, and she knows that. ‘’Once again.. that girl was torture on your mind.. Niall. Look what she caused you to do.’’ She says.
‘’Going to rehab was my fault. Not Chanel’s. That was a while after-‘’ ‘’It was only four months.’’ Mom corrects me. ‘’Well.. whatever. But still. I got on the drugs on my own. You can’t blame her for something she didn’t do.’’ I say.
‘’But what lead you to the drugs, Niall? What lead you to jail for a month? It was her. All her. And you don’t need to be thinking of her any more. You’ve been happier since she left anyways.’’ She huffs lightly.
‘’For one.. it was my depression that lead me to those things. And two, I haven’t been happy. You might have been, her parents might have been.. But I assure you that Chanel and I haven’t been happy.’’ I roll my eyes lightly as I look away from her.
‘’Once again, Niall, who lead you to the depression? Better yet.. who was the one that caused a girl to almost take her own life? She got doped up too, Niall..’’ She reminds me. ‘’Mom.. I’m going to tell you one thing before I get up and go take a shower.’’ I sigh.
‘’And what is that?’’ She asks, rolling her eyes with a annoyed sigh. ‘’I still believe in my love for Chanel.. and no one, not even you, could change that.’’
“Hey mom.’’ I mumble gently as she sits down on my couch beside me. She came to London to visit me. The record label I was signed to was in London, and so was the one I owned. So I decided to move here about a year ago. But I have an apartment in Mullingar for when I go visit family and friends.
“Yes love?’’ She asks me. ‘’Um.. I just realized.. what today was.’’ I sigh out gently. ‘’Its Thursday, darling.’’ She says with a light smile. ‘’No.. I mean.. the date.’’ I correct my self.
“It’s the fourth of June..’’ She says, looking over at me. ‘’Mom.. I know. I mean like.. something happened on this day.. something.. important to me.’’ I sigh, not really blaming her for her answers though, they were legit.
“Oh, well what happened?’’ She asks, curiously. ‘’Its been five years since.. I met.. um.. uh.’’ I didn’t really know how to say it. It was a hard topic for me and her to discuss, only because she thought differently about it then I had.
‘’Chanel.’’ She mumbles the name like it was a sin to say it any louder. ‘’Yeah.. Chanel.’’ I gulp gently, staring at the floor with my lips rolled in, holding back the tears that I know are coming later on tonight.
‘’Oh Niall, please don’t think of her. She’s nothing to you anymore.’’ Mom tells me. ‘’That’s wrong.. mom.. its wrong.’’ I say. ‘’And why is it wrong?’’ She asks. ‘’Because.. Chanel has always been something to me.. and she always will be.’’ I tell her. ‘’No..’’ She shakes her lightly in protest.
I sigh to myself, knowing that this won’t get me any where. ‘’Yes.’’ I mumble. ‘’Niall that girl isn’t good for you to think about. She’s.. she’s poisoned your mind.’’ Mom says, this didn’t shock me one bit.
‘’No. She hasn’t. She.. she was my everything, Mom. Why can’t you just realize that already?’’ I ask, looking over at her to see she was staring at her bracelet. ‘’Because.. she hurt you.’’ Mom whispers.
‘’Mom.. I love Chanel.’’ I tell her, like I always try to convince her, but she never truly believes me. ‘’Oh, Niall don’t stay that garbage. You don’t know what love is.’’ She fires back, still not looking over at me.
‘’Yes I do.’’ I assure her. ‘’Hush.’’ She demands. ‘’Chanel only hurt me because I hurt her first.’’ I remind her. ‘’Niall.. if this girl really loved you, which I doubt very so, she would still be in your life, now wouldn’t she?’’ She asks, looking over at me and raising her eyebrows.
‘’Mom.. her parents..’’ I sigh out. ‘’Romeo and Juliet’s parents didn’t want them to be together..’’ She sighs. She always pull that shit with me. Romeo this, Juliet that. Cinderella did such, Ariel did whatever.
‘’Mom.. I’m not a little kid. Okay. I don’t care what Romeo and Juliet did.’’ I say. ‘’What I’m saying, Niall, is that if you really loved her, you would fight for it.’’ She mumbles. ‘’I’m not disrespecting her parents.’’ I tell her. ‘’Then it isn’t love.’’ She fires back.
‘’And what would you know about love?’’ I scoff. ‘’I was in love once Niall..’’ She reminds me. ‘’Yeah, and now you’re divorced.’’ I remind her too. ‘’Niall..’’ she sighs, rolling her eyes. I always pulled the d-card on her when she would talk about love. ‘’Apparently you weren’t.’’ I say.
‘’Well, I wasn’t the one that treid to kill my self.’’ She says with a laugh. ‘’Its not funny.’’ ‘’So its okay for you to talk about my past, but I can’t talk about you and that girl’s past?’’ She asks, raising her eyebrows.
‘’That girl has a name, Mother.’’ I say. I only use mother when I’m extremely pissed off at her, and she knows that. ‘’Once again.. that girl was torture on your mind.. Niall. Look what she caused you to do.’’ She says.
‘’Going to rehab was my fault. Not Chanel’s. That was a while after-‘’ ‘’It was only four months.’’ Mom corrects me. ‘’Well.. whatever. But still. I got on the drugs on my own. You can’t blame her for something she didn’t do.’’ I say.
‘’But what lead you to the drugs, Niall? What lead you to jail for a month? It was her. All her. And you don’t need to be thinking of her any more. You’ve been happier since she left anyways.’’ She huffs lightly.
‘’For one.. it was my depression that lead me to those things. And two, I haven’t been happy. You might have been, her parents might have been.. But I assure you that Chanel and I haven’t been happy.’’ I roll my eyes lightly as I look away from her.
‘’Once again, Niall, who lead you to the depression? Better yet.. who was the one that caused a girl to almost take her own life? She got doped up too, Niall..’’ She reminds me. ‘’Mom.. I’m going to tell you one thing before I get up and go take a shower.’’ I sigh.
‘’And what is that?’’ She asks, rolling her eyes with a annoyed sigh. ‘’I still believe in my love for Chanel.. and no one, not even you, could change that.’’
Notes
Hi loves! We really hope you like it so far! We'll be sure to put the dates and locations so we know you're not so confused! PLEASE COMMENT YOUR WONDERFUL THOUGHTS! They are super important to the making of this story!! Thanks again, love you so much!! ❤❤❤
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6/13/15