Believe

Hey there, I’m Niall Horan. I’m a musician. I have been singing my entire life, but I was first recognized while I was on the X-Factor. I won, which was amazing. I never thought my life would go this far, but it has. And its simply wonderful. Despite something I have been through. And I don’t mean a sickness, or a death in the family, I mean a broken heart.

I know, I know.. its cheesy. So cheesy. But its just the trust, okay? Its hard knowing that I tore a girl’s heart to pieces because I wanted my dream over her. And that was completely wrong of me to do. I have tried to apologize, but I knew there was nothing I could ever do to fix that.

That girl’s name was Chanel. I met her when I was sixteen, she was only fourteen though. She was touring London with her accelerated art class from school. She was an amazing artist, I’ll get to that later though. She bumped into me, literally, by accident. She sad a simple “I’m sorry” but by the end of that conversation, I had her convinced it was my fault.

That happened before the X-Factor audition, weeks before actually. And I didn’t believe the next day, but God wanted me to be happy.. I know this because I walked into a local London café that my mom and I loved when we visited some friends in the city, which we were doing at the time anyways, and saw her sitting a table with some of the people she traveled over to London with.

It was astonishing to able to see her again. She had looked up when she heard the bells jingle on the door, and her face lite up.. a bright smile and a shy wave was revealed to me. I smiled back, and waved too. It wasn’t long after that I had her number, I know stupid, but I mean.. c’mon.. that was completely God’s work with Fate, not my Irish Luck, which might have had a small part in it, though...

Chanel and I got to know each other very well over text and calls through out her two and a half week visit to London during that summer. She thought my name was pretty, she had never heard anything like it, her being from America and all, they didn’t have names like pretty, she had told me.

But, I told her that her name was beautiful. It fit her well, and it was perfect for her. Beautifully perfect, just like she is. Chanel was from Alabama. She lived on the coast, Orange Beach to be specific. She told me she enjoyed attempting to surf the waves when they gained their highest peaks at a certain time in the summer, but she could never succeed. But she didn’t care. She also loved walking along the beach at night, any time of year, with her close friends. They would take flashlights and watch the crabs come onto the shore, and then gliding back into the beautiful water, she always told me stories like that.

Stories I wish I could experience with her, but it seems as if I never will.

It was almost three years later that we lost touch. I only say that because that’s the nicest way to say it. What I had told her though.. I remember it by heart: “Chanel, I hate to say this, but I can’t speak with you anymore.. Its no reason that you need to worry about. I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re fine. Its just that I need to focus on my career. I need to be concerned in my life and what I do for a living. I’m sorry it had to end this way. But I love you, I always will.. So please, don’t be offended. I love you. Goodbye my princess...’’

It was torture to say that. My mother knew it was best though. But sometimes, mostly know a days, I realize that I shouldn’t have listened to my mother that one time. She was wrong. It wasn’t best. Yeah, for my music and my career. But not for me.. or my soul.. or my life.. or my heart.. or my mind.

I went through a phase of depression after I received a letter from Chanel’s mother. She told me that Chanel tried to kill herself, all because of my actions. She sent me a copy of Nellie’s, a nickname I called her often, suicide note. She wrote it a few days after she called, trying to fix our relationship and our friendship, but I said horrible things. We argued, and I know now that it wasn’t worth it. I remember the note, also, more than I can remember anything else...

Mom, Dad, Kelly, Jake, and Niall,
Apparently I am not loved any more, not saying by who but I know for sure that person knows who they are, and mom.. it’s not you or dad, just to clarify. I’ve loved my life up to this point, and I am very grateful for the good times we’ve all shared with one another. I’m sorry it has to be this way.. but I need this. I need this for myself. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine where I’m going to next. I’ll see you guys soon. I love you. ALL of you. No matter what.
-Chanel

But thankfully, and I prayed for hours after I got it, her very close friend Jake walked into her room while she had the gun to the side of her head. He also wrote me a letter. I had “met” him a couple of times during Skype calls me and Chanel had. He was a good friend to her, only a friend, and that was important to me.

He had told me that he tackled her to the ground. Need I remind you that this boy, at the time, was a senior in high school, a year older than Chanel, and was captain of the football team his entire four years in high school, and he wasn’t a small guy either. But he assured me he only done it for her sake, not to hurt her. And I knew that.

Then he wrote this: ‘’I pinned her down on the ground with my hands on her cheeks as I leaned to her ear and whispered this “Niall doesn’t want you to do this Chanel.. he loves you, he’s told you.. and you need to believe in that”. And that made me feel good, only a little though. I knew he was there for her, not for me, but he wanted what was best.. and so did I, and that certainly wasn’t losing Chanel to a stupid thing I said.

He also said that he left bruises on her arms and her wrists, but her parents knew why and no one was upset. No one but him. He told me he hated to hurt her like that, but he knew he had to do it. So he did.

Chanel is my princess. She’s my angel. My true love. My world. My heart. My soul. My life. My everything..

But her parents didn’t want that, and apparently neither did she. Only a few days after I got Jake’s letter, I got one from her parents. But it also had a part from her in it to, and that’s what really changed my life. Here’s the next letter I received from them:

Niall,
We know that you and Chanel love each other deeply, and that you had an amazing bond that made our little girl smile through thick and thin, but we appreciate it if you just her alone. Its nothing to be upset over, its just that we know what’s best. We know you guys think you know what’s best for Chanel or for you, but trust us honey, when we say this.. You’re too young to know what Love is. Love is a powerful word.. and it shouldn’t be abused. We have enjoyed hearing the stories of yours and Chanel’s phone calls, video chats, and all that stuff, and we gladly thank you for being in her life during a time we thought no one could help. So thank you for that. But if you want to get our full respect, we would request that you keep your distance. She needs to regain herself. She needs to be with her friends more, they help her too. We love you as if we personally knew you more than the little we do, but we couldn’t risk our daughter’s life again. And if you truly love Chanel, you would understand.
-Ashley & Rylan Wortham

Niall,
Thank you for being in my life these past three years. It has been honestly the best for me. But, like you said, I need to focus on my life. I’m ending school next year, and I have to focus on my future. I promise I’ll never forget the time I met you, the little sweet dates we went on while I was vising London, and all of things afterwards. But the pain you’ve brought has almost killed me, and I don’t want to feel the way I felt that day anymore. Its been too much since then. Thank you for being here. I love you. I’ll never forget you.. Forever & Always... To Infinity & Beyond... And for Eternity. I love you Niall.
-Chanel

My wave of depression hit after I got the call from her mother about her attempts of killing herself, only a day before I got that letter. Her mother basically told me it was all my fault. And some how, I chose to believe that. But I have learned, through the thick and thin of my life and what little of it I have shared with Chanel.. Believing is what helps you make it.

I believed I would fulfill my dreams, and I did. I believed I would fall in love, and I did. I believed I would have something or someone to look forward to every morning I woke, and I did. I believed that my love for Chanel will last forever... and it will.

Even though me and Chanel haven’t talked for a little over two years, I believed Chanel was the one for me, that she was my princess, that she was my other half, the one God made just for me....
And I still believe it to this day..

And no one can change that. No one. Like we promised...... for Eternity.

Notes

So is the intro good?? giving you the "before plot" and all that. So this is going to be good. View the soundtrack and read the set description for a few sneak peeks into the soon future for Niall and Chanel. PLEASE COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS, THEY ARE TRULY NEEDED AT THE MOMENT!!
we hope to make this BIG and do really good on it, we love you and thanks for checking it out! THANKS!! xx
❤❤❤
~Allie & Haley~