Choices
Saying Goodbye
A/N: If you want to, I recommend that you listen 'Say something' by A great big world and Christina Aguilera, when Ash's POV starts
Leah’s POV
The bell rang and lucky me had class the first period, unfortunately today is my busiest day having class all day. Each class felt like hours and when the bell rang to signal that the last class for today is finish I jumped out of my seat and ran to where Zayn had parked this morning and to my surprise he had the car already running. “Guess what?” he asked with a big smile as I took my place in the passenger seat “What?!” I exclaimed “Their being released within a few days “I know that you idiot” I laugh and he soon joins in on the laughter. “You have really cute laugh” he says “Thanks” I smile. “Hey!!” Luke says as he opens the passenger door and discovers that I had taken his place. “No fair” he complains “You snooze, you loose” I smile.
Luke then opens the backdoor and then turn to me, whose door he still hasn’t closed. Suddenly he picks me up bridal style “LUKE!” I yell as he removes me from my seat and places me in the backseat closing the door behind me and taking my place in the passenger seat. “Thank you” he says as he hands me my bags “Idiot” I tell him when I remove my bags from his grip. “Why are we waiting” Luke asked Zayn after a while. “Harry and Louis are also coming with us, cause Liam has to go somewhere else” Zayn explained “Oh” Luke nodded. Just then the backdoor opened and in climbed a curly guy with gorgeous green orbs – Harry and on the other side a guy with brown hair and blue orbs – Louis. “Hii” they said as they closed the doors behind them. “Hey” Zayn, Luke and I replied. “You ready?” Zayn asks after the two had settled in. “Yup” Louis answered “As ready as can be” Harry replied as soon as Louis stopped talking.
*A few weeks later*
It has been a few weeks after the operation and since then Ash and I have become an official couple and his knee has healed very well, too good for the doctor’s liking.
“No Ashton, No” I say breathless cause Ashton have got me pinned down and he is tickling me. “Stop” I try to say but I simply can’t find any air in my lungs to say anything. “Why?” Ashton smiled and for a few seconds he stopped giving me a chance to breathe “I can’t breathe you idiot” I smiled when I finally got my breath back. “That’s not my problem” he smiled back at me “You sure?” I ask him “Cause if I die you’ll be girlfriendless” why on earth did I say that “and if I die you’ll be boyfriendless” oh my god I can’t believe he just said that after all I still have that feeling about me screaming to signal Ash’s violent death.
“Don’t say that” I tell him and just then he starts tickling me again. “S-T-O-P” I laugh “Nope” Ash laughed. I then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket “Looks like someone got a message” Ash said as he took my phone out of my pocket and started to run. “Ash come back!” I yell as I start to chase him to get my phone back because I have a feeling that it’s Sharon telling me about how cute she think Zayn is or my other friend Lily telling me about how cute she think Luke is.
“You can’t catch me” Ash yelled at me before he ran outside. Ugh now I have to chase him all the way outside otherwise he is going to read the text and then Sharon or Lily is going to be furious with me cause Ash will tell either Zayn or Luke. “Really why do you need to go outside?” I yell. “Cause it’s raining” he yells back at me “Dude, my phone isn’t waterproof” I yell. Suddenly I feel something vibrating in my other pocket and I realise that Ash took his own phone out of my pocket thinking that it’s my phone cause our phones look exactly the same, cover and all. “You’re an idiot!” I yell at him. “Why?” he asks “Do you know that you took your own phone?” I laugh “No, I didn’t know that” he yells back laughing, causing me to burst out in laughter too. “I’m an idiot” he says as we walk into the house “you think?” I laugh at him. “it’s not funny” he moans, laughing himself.
I stop to look at the time “Oh my god, I’ve gotta get home” I say causing Ash to jump “I’ll drive you” Ash smiled “Dude how else do you think am I going to get home?” I laugh “You’re going to get abducted by aliens, who actually just came to earth to take you home” he smiled when he saw the look on my face. I placed my phone on the table with the screen facing upwards and went upstairs to get my stuff.
Ash’s POV
Leah went upstairs to get her bags and as I reached for my car keys her phone vibrated and I decided to have a look when I saw the message was from Niall. I unlock her phone and open the message.
Niall: Hey babe, what time can I pick you up for tonight?
The moment I saw that words my anger meter raised into the RED. I calmed myself and made as if it had not happen when I saw her coming down with her bag. “You ready?” she asked with a smile. “Yeah” I replied, hoping that she had forgotten about her phone, like she usually does.
When we came to a stop at the first robot she suddenly said, “Ash, I think I left my phone at your house. Do you mind going back?” she said sweetly but also in a hurry “Why? You scared I’m going to see the messages you and Niall send each other?” I confronted her “what?” she asked confused. I then took off when the robot had turned green and I know there won’t be any stops for quite a while. “Ash, I asked you a question” she said raising her volume. “Since when are you Niall’s babe?” I said also raising my volume. “What?! Are we really going to fight about that? You know Niall calls all the girls he message babe!” she yells at me and I know it’s true “But he doesn’t ask them in the same sentence what time can he pick them up!” I yell at her.
She suddenly turn silent, not saying a word. I can’t believe it! The girl I almost couldn’t believe is an human cause she’s so amazing, the girl I loved more than anything since we first met, the girl I gave my heart to, the girl whose shoe lases I tied so that she wouldn’t fall for someone else, the girl I trusted with ALL my secrets, the most amazing thing that had happened to me, is cheating on me and not just with anyone, but with my football buddy, Niall. “I can’t believe it! You’re cheating on me and then you want to deny it, I hate you!” I yell “I’m not cheating on you, I love you more than anything!” she yells before she screams. A scream that almost bursted my ear drums.
Leah’s POV
It’s happening and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, absolutely nothing! The feeling about Ash suddenly turns stronger and I know no matter what I tell him he won’t believe me! “I can’t believe it! You’re cheating on me and then you want to deny it, I hate you!” Ashton yells at me. I can’t believe he hates me! And before I can think it through I yell “I’m not cheating on you, I love you more than anything!” and then it happened the last thing I wanted, I screamed and couldn’t stop! This time the feeling that came with the screaming signal was the worst! It hurts more than any other signal I have ever let free. And then it happened, the crash. Ever since that dream I had the feeling never went away. Day and night it was there.
I woke up with a bleeding arm and a cut on my forehead. The first thing that ran through my mind was: Where’s Ash?! I crawled out of the piece of wreckage and stood up, the road being more quiet than normal cause there wasn’t a car in sight. I looked to see if Ash was still in the car, but he wasn’t there. I looked around the wreckage and there I saw Ash. He’s laying on his side with his face facing to me. “ASH!” I yell as I run to his side. When I reached him, he was still breathing. “Ash” I said trying to get a response from him, “Ash”, “Say something!” I yelled “Say something!” I yelled again as tears started to stream down my cheeks. “Please don’t leave me” I cry “I’m sorry” Ash whispered “It’s ok” I tell him. He then used his very last breath to say ‘I love you’. “I love you to” I replied and I saw a smile on his lips, right before he died. “NO!” I yell “Ash you can’t leave me like this, you just can’t!” I yelled even harder “No!!” I cried! I sat there still holding Ash in my arms, not wanting to let go of him!
I now know for the first time what it means to say ‘Pain demands to be felt’. Pain doesn’t come softly, No, pain comes to crush you and break you until there’s nothing left of you and even if you’re not human anymore it still carries on, it won’t stop until you have nothing left, nothing at all. I never knew how hard it would be saying goodbye to someone you love more than anything, but I now know it hurts like hell, but I guess with time, just like a wound, I would heal, just being left with a scar. A scar that reminds me of what could’ve been and yet wasn’t, but if this wound gets infected before it heals I won’t be able to heal, I won’t be left with a scar, instead I’ll be left with 1 question, ‘How, how do I heal?’…
Leah’s POV
The bell rang and lucky me had class the first period, unfortunately today is my busiest day having class all day. Each class felt like hours and when the bell rang to signal that the last class for today is finish I jumped out of my seat and ran to where Zayn had parked this morning and to my surprise he had the car already running. “Guess what?” he asked with a big smile as I took my place in the passenger seat “What?!” I exclaimed “Their being released within a few days “I know that you idiot” I laugh and he soon joins in on the laughter. “You have really cute laugh” he says “Thanks” I smile. “Hey!!” Luke says as he opens the passenger door and discovers that I had taken his place. “No fair” he complains “You snooze, you loose” I smile.
Luke then opens the backdoor and then turn to me, whose door he still hasn’t closed. Suddenly he picks me up bridal style “LUKE!” I yell as he removes me from my seat and places me in the backseat closing the door behind me and taking my place in the passenger seat. “Thank you” he says as he hands me my bags “Idiot” I tell him when I remove my bags from his grip. “Why are we waiting” Luke asked Zayn after a while. “Harry and Louis are also coming with us, cause Liam has to go somewhere else” Zayn explained “Oh” Luke nodded. Just then the backdoor opened and in climbed a curly guy with gorgeous green orbs – Harry and on the other side a guy with brown hair and blue orbs – Louis. “Hii” they said as they closed the doors behind them. “Hey” Zayn, Luke and I replied. “You ready?” Zayn asks after the two had settled in. “Yup” Louis answered “As ready as can be” Harry replied as soon as Louis stopped talking.
*A few weeks later*
It has been a few weeks after the operation and since then Ash and I have become an official couple and his knee has healed very well, too good for the doctor’s liking.
“No Ashton, No” I say breathless cause Ashton have got me pinned down and he is tickling me. “Stop” I try to say but I simply can’t find any air in my lungs to say anything. “Why?” Ashton smiled and for a few seconds he stopped giving me a chance to breathe “I can’t breathe you idiot” I smiled when I finally got my breath back. “That’s not my problem” he smiled back at me “You sure?” I ask him “Cause if I die you’ll be girlfriendless” why on earth did I say that “and if I die you’ll be boyfriendless” oh my god I can’t believe he just said that after all I still have that feeling about me screaming to signal Ash’s violent death.
“Don’t say that” I tell him and just then he starts tickling me again. “S-T-O-P” I laugh “Nope” Ash laughed. I then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket “Looks like someone got a message” Ash said as he took my phone out of my pocket and started to run. “Ash come back!” I yell as I start to chase him to get my phone back because I have a feeling that it’s Sharon telling me about how cute she think Zayn is or my other friend Lily telling me about how cute she think Luke is.
“You can’t catch me” Ash yelled at me before he ran outside. Ugh now I have to chase him all the way outside otherwise he is going to read the text and then Sharon or Lily is going to be furious with me cause Ash will tell either Zayn or Luke. “Really why do you need to go outside?” I yell. “Cause it’s raining” he yells back at me “Dude, my phone isn’t waterproof” I yell. Suddenly I feel something vibrating in my other pocket and I realise that Ash took his own phone out of my pocket thinking that it’s my phone cause our phones look exactly the same, cover and all. “You’re an idiot!” I yell at him. “Why?” he asks “Do you know that you took your own phone?” I laugh “No, I didn’t know that” he yells back laughing, causing me to burst out in laughter too. “I’m an idiot” he says as we walk into the house “you think?” I laugh at him. “it’s not funny” he moans, laughing himself.
I stop to look at the time “Oh my god, I’ve gotta get home” I say causing Ash to jump “I’ll drive you” Ash smiled “Dude how else do you think am I going to get home?” I laugh “You’re going to get abducted by aliens, who actually just came to earth to take you home” he smiled when he saw the look on my face. I placed my phone on the table with the screen facing upwards and went upstairs to get my stuff.
Ash’s POV
Leah went upstairs to get her bags and as I reached for my car keys her phone vibrated and I decided to have a look when I saw the message was from Niall. I unlock her phone and open the message.
Niall: Hey babe, what time can I pick you up for tonight?
The moment I saw that words my anger meter raised into the RED. I calmed myself and made as if it had not happen when I saw her coming down with her bag. “You ready?” she asked with a smile. “Yeah” I replied, hoping that she had forgotten about her phone, like she usually does.
When we came to a stop at the first robot she suddenly said, “Ash, I think I left my phone at your house. Do you mind going back?” she said sweetly but also in a hurry “Why? You scared I’m going to see the messages you and Niall send each other?” I confronted her “what?” she asked confused. I then took off when the robot had turned green and I know there won’t be any stops for quite a while. “Ash, I asked you a question” she said raising her volume. “Since when are you Niall’s babe?” I said also raising my volume. “What?! Are we really going to fight about that? You know Niall calls all the girls he message babe!” she yells at me and I know it’s true “But he doesn’t ask them in the same sentence what time can he pick them up!” I yell at her.
She suddenly turn silent, not saying a word. I can’t believe it! The girl I almost couldn’t believe is an human cause she’s so amazing, the girl I loved more than anything since we first met, the girl I gave my heart to, the girl whose shoe lases I tied so that she wouldn’t fall for someone else, the girl I trusted with ALL my secrets, the most amazing thing that had happened to me, is cheating on me and not just with anyone, but with my football buddy, Niall. “I can’t believe it! You’re cheating on me and then you want to deny it, I hate you!” I yell “I’m not cheating on you, I love you more than anything!” she yells before she screams. A scream that almost bursted my ear drums.
Leah’s POV
It’s happening and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, absolutely nothing! The feeling about Ash suddenly turns stronger and I know no matter what I tell him he won’t believe me! “I can’t believe it! You’re cheating on me and then you want to deny it, I hate you!” Ashton yells at me. I can’t believe he hates me! And before I can think it through I yell “I’m not cheating on you, I love you more than anything!” and then it happened the last thing I wanted, I screamed and couldn’t stop! This time the feeling that came with the screaming signal was the worst! It hurts more than any other signal I have ever let free. And then it happened, the crash. Ever since that dream I had the feeling never went away. Day and night it was there.
I woke up with a bleeding arm and a cut on my forehead. The first thing that ran through my mind was: Where’s Ash?! I crawled out of the piece of wreckage and stood up, the road being more quiet than normal cause there wasn’t a car in sight. I looked to see if Ash was still in the car, but he wasn’t there. I looked around the wreckage and there I saw Ash. He’s laying on his side with his face facing to me. “ASH!” I yell as I run to his side. When I reached him, he was still breathing. “Ash” I said trying to get a response from him, “Ash”, “Say something!” I yelled “Say something!” I yelled again as tears started to stream down my cheeks. “Please don’t leave me” I cry “I’m sorry” Ash whispered “It’s ok” I tell him. He then used his very last breath to say ‘I love you’. “I love you to” I replied and I saw a smile on his lips, right before he died. “NO!” I yell “Ash you can’t leave me like this, you just can’t!” I yelled even harder “No!!” I cried! I sat there still holding Ash in my arms, not wanting to let go of him!
I now know for the first time what it means to say ‘Pain demands to be felt’. Pain doesn’t come softly, No, pain comes to crush you and break you until there’s nothing left of you and even if you’re not human anymore it still carries on, it won’t stop until you have nothing left, nothing at all. I never knew how hard it would be saying goodbye to someone you love more than anything, but I now know it hurts like hell, but I guess with time, just like a wound, I would heal, just being left with a scar. A scar that reminds me of what could’ve been and yet wasn’t, but if this wound gets infected before it heals I won’t be able to heal, I won’t be left with a scar, instead I’ll be left with 1 question, ‘How, how do I heal?’…
Notes
Hii I worked really hard on writing this chapter so I hope you liked it...
Dancing in the dark
PS: I cried while writing it, but I don't know if you guys also found it sad.
Hii I just wanna say that I'm putting this story on hold, but it probably won't be for too long... and I also just wanna add that I have a new story, Love through a suicidal act, if you wanna read it.
Dancing in the dark
xoxo
7/8/15