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Things you can't change

Harsh memories

Seven years ago from today something happend ,-something that I can never unthink,unhear or unsee.Its always there,The memory of the man will always be there,

I was only 9 years old and I was inside of the bank with my mother who recently lost her husband,which is my father.So me and her was going to go out trying to forget my fathers lost.So We walked inside of a empty bank with a light smell of lilacs and my mother depaused some money.We got what we wanted as we where peacfully leaving a man who looked like a drug addict walked in.He reeked of acohol and weed he was sloppy looking hair all greesy,eyes blood shot.He looked over at me and looked like he was going to do something bad he looked nervous.So I grabbed my mothers hand tighty .And Next the man walked up to the counter bring out a old hungun that I neverseen before.He points at the Lady with teh old handgun.

“Give me all the money you have!”The man said to the lady,the lady didnt look to old in her older 20s.She was also very pretty,But she stood there shocked with her hands up in the air.She looked scared ,and I don’t blame her at all.

“Come on!”He yelled.Me and my mom just stood there kinda watching,My mom was slowly bringing out her cell to call the cops.

The Bank lady slowly goes to the cash register.

“Well if you are not gonna hurry up im going to shoot someone else!”He yelled he violently walks over to my mother,totally ignoring my existance.He pushes her to the ground making my moms fragile make a huge thump noise and points the gun at her.So the lady hurrys up on getting him the cash so my mom wouldnt be shot but I was scared so I run up behind the man and kick him as hard as i could in the hamstring.He pushes me against the wall and I hit my head so I said ouch like most kids do when they get hurt.The man fumbles around the loaded gun after he pushs me and drops it infront of me I quickly grab it and hold it to my chest also curl up in a little ball.

“Give that back!You little punk!”He jumps on top of me pinning me to the floor ,I got one arm free and I held the gun close to his chest without a thought I shot him.

He flys back and lands on the floor holding his chest /shoulder area with his hand all I see was blood pouring out through the cracks he was leaving.He trys to still get the gun though and I shot again in the leg.He limps and hes still trys to get me.Stupid man.Finally I shot him in the head still without faults or guilt.He falls back close to my pushed down mom ,My mom looked at me frightened,scared,Shocked.Suprised.

I sat there thinking what I have done It took me a moment but I ended up noticing what I have done,a crime.As I sat there I see the mans blood dripples towards me.I just scream not a terrifying scream a scream like what have I done?!,Thinking how I just can kill a man ,I release the gun to my left letting it just lay there.

“Sunny!Wake up!Sunny!”I hear my mom yell in a terrifying scared tone of voice.He was shaking me and I relized I was screaming again.Yes the thought of killing the man is still in my head and im 16 now.I never got over it,Now its kinda a part of me cause it really has affected my life.A lot.

“Im okay Im okay! mom sorry If i woke you up.”I said getting a tissue and wiping the tears away.

I look at the time its around 5:30.I guess I can just wake up for school get ready etc.

“Its okay ,Hun are you going to keep sleeping or?”She asked me sitting next to me slowly petting my head in soft way.

“Nah I can get ready for school now.”I slowly get up shaking.My mom tries to help me up.

“Okay well Hun I will be sleeping if you need me remember im always here.”She said while she lightly kissed my forhead.She walks out of the room with a gental smile and I slowly get up out of my bed I go to my closet getting a red plaid shirt with black on it,Black shorts with rips and holes, black tank,Black vans,and lastly a dream catcher necklace.

Then I do my every day makeup with bold eyeliner and huge lashes.I just keep my hair down and style it.

Afterwards I take a good look in the mirror for a few minutes.Thinking how im still alive,ive murdered someone,my dad died,been bullied for murdering someone.Most people would say why would you get bullied for saving 2 people?Well no one knows how I saved the Lady that I never seen again after that and my mom.They thought I killed him to kill him but no body really understands.It really sucks.Well people still somewhat talk about it but i dont get bullied a lot for it now but when i was younger I was bullied - bad.Im kinda proud of myself to be honest.Im still living I beat deep depression and soical anxiety.Well I still have both but Im not super deep in it like I was in after I killed him.It was a harsh time for me.

I slowly get up and check the time 6:23.I need to get going.I grabbed my BMO (person from adventure time) bookbag along with my binder and I walk out to the bathroom putting on deoderant and brushing my teeth.But I leave afterwards,Im not super hungry.I start to walk out the door and I feel my phone buzz on my butt pocket.