Brokedown Palace

The ride to the studio was longer than I had expected, but Louis and I sat in comfortable silence.
When 15 more minutes passed, I reached forward to change the radio station. At the same time, Louis reached forward as well. Our fingers briefly brushed against one another, and my mind flashed back to a memory I hadn't thought about for years.


*Flashback*

I sat cross legged on my twin bed, staring contently out the window. The breeze flowing quietly through the trees, making it's way into my window. The sun warming my face, as I breathed in the fresh scent of lavender's blooming in the new spring air.

My thoughts were interrupted by my door swinging open,

"Come on Dylan we're waiting downstairs with cake and presents and everything!"
I smiled at my goofy bestfriend, wearing jeans that were way too tight for him. I always teased him that he would end up in a boyband for the way he wore his jeans like tights.

"I'll be done in a minute, I'm just thinking about her you know?"

My mom had passed away 6 years before on my tenth birthday, they said she felt no pain, which was comforting but they never warned us about how much pain she would leave behind when the drunk driver hit our mini van.

"Hey love look at me," Louis sat down on the bed next to me, and for a brief second our hands touched on my bed.

I looked up to meet his eyes, "It's okay to miss her, to mourn her, but she wouldn't want you to be sitting up in your room on your birthday. Missing out on the delicious cake that is 20 ft away from you!" Louis joked.

A smile appeared on my lips, and he took his fingers and placed them under my chin. "You're gonna be alright kid, you have me, and I have you. There's nothing we can't get through. I think I need to tell you some-" He was interrupted by my sister swinging my door open. Her face an exact replica of mine, just prettier. People said we were identical, but to me she was always better; nicer, prettier, stronger.

"Come on you two, I'm not about to blow out these candles by myself!" Isabella yelled at both of us.

Even with the interruption this was the first time I realized that Louis was in love with me, back when life was simpler and I thought I was in love with him too.

*End of Flash Back*

"Hey Dyl, you alright? We're there"

I shook the thoughts from my brain, and smiled up at him. "Yes absolutely, let's go don't want you to be late."

We got out of the car and made our way inside, at this point memories were flooding my brain and I quickly excused myself to go to the bathroom before Louis got wind of the panic attack that was brewing inside of me.

I wish the memory I had of Isabella's perfect features and soft smile, were how I remembered her. But as I reached the bathroom, the image of her lifeless face laying on the ground in front of me with a a scarlet stream staining her porcelain complexion brought the panic attack out.
I felt the breaths hitch in my throat and tears pooled in my eyes, not quite ready to fall. I felt as though someone was squeezing my neck, not allowing air flow through my body.

I slid down the door and sat with my head in my hands. My breathing now chokes, and my shakes now violent.

Across from me was another door, which I should have checked before I allowed myself to break down.

The handle turned and before I could say anything I was once again walked in on by Harry.

"Sorry I didn't know someone was-Dylan?"

I looked up at him my eyes pleading, he quickly shut the door behind him. With two large strides he was at my side crouched down, and reaching his arms out.

When I didn't move towards him he sighed and wrapped his warms around me. At first, I began to pull away but he only held on tighter his strong arms pulling me in. I now clung to his chest as I tried to bring my breathing back to normal.

His chest was strong and warm, which eased my tense muscles.

After about 5 minutes, my breathing was returned to slow and steady. I nodded my head indicating he could let go,

"I'm sorry you had to see that" I managed.

"Don't apologize, I used to have panic attacks when my grandfather passed away when I was a kid my mom used to do that to me to calm me down."

I didn't say anything just simply nodded.

"Louis told me what happened with your sister. He's my best friend and I see him struggle with it every day. I think that it could help both of you if you talked to each other about it."

I nodded once again knowing that I could never tell Louis the truth.

"Thank you" I said as I got up off of the floor, "I don't want Louis worrying though would you mind keeping this to yourself?"

Harry looked conflicted, but simply nodded, "I know I don't know you well, but we're a family here and if there's ever anything you need don't hesitate to ask." This time he smiled, and walked out the door.

Notes