Promise Me

“What if we get caught? This could cause problems for the band.” Zayn says, pushing Louis back slightly, his lips falling from Zayn’s neck.

Zayn hates the way Louis’ staring at him, all puppy dog eyes and disappointment.

“But, Zayn,” he pouts at the younger man in front of him.

Zayn knows by now to avoid getting sucked into that gaze, from past experiences the man who owns those bright blue eyes and pouting lips brings nothing but trouble, which is how they’ve ended up in this situation. He puts his hands up to stop Louis coming any closer to him. “What about Eleanor then? You’re still with her.”

Louis speaks without missing a beat. “Then I’ll break up with her.”

The shrug of his shoulders worries Zayn, how could he just brush her off like that so easily? You’d think after four years of dating Louis would have some sort of attachment to her, be at least a little reluctant to let her go even if he didn’t love her. It makes Zayn wonder what he is too Louis, could he just as easily be cast aside by the man.

“You’ll break up with her?”

“Well yeah, I mean if you want to take the next step in this then I’ll have to. I don’t think I could handle the both of you whining at him all the time,” he answers, his trademark smirk on his lips.

Zayn’s voice shakes slightly, “Wh-what’s the next step exactly?”

Louis raises his eyebrows at him, as if he had just asked the most ridiculous question. “Well I figured we should tell the guys so then it won’t be such a shock when we start looking for places together.” Louis takes a step towards Zayn, closing the distance between them. “There’s this really nice two bedroom apartment in central London, I figured two bedrooms would be good in case one of the guys wanted to crash there.”

Wait what? Get a place together is he serious? We’re hardly ready for that. Zayn racks his brain for something to say, but is interrupted by the sound of the other boys outside the room. Louis leans forward pecking him on the lips before heading to the other side of the room to grab a bottle of water as the other guys enter.

~~.~~

“Why are you doing this?” she asks quietly into the phone, as if she’s afraid to hear the answer.

“It’s just too hard at the moment; we’re on tour all the time and I just don’t have the time anymore.” Louis replies, hoping to get this done quickly.

“Did I do something?” She pauses. “Has something happened? If you cheated on me Louis Tomlinson I swear to god.”

Louis eyes widen slightly. “What? Of course I didn’t. I just don’t think it’s the right time for us at the moment. I need you to understand that.”

There’s sniffling coming from Eleanor’s side of the line. “Well I guess I can’t make you stay if you don’t want to.”

Louis tries to sound comforting. “I’m really sorry Eleanor.”

“You’ll stay in touch through, right? I don’t want us to never speak again because of this.” She sounds hopeful.

Louis feels like he was punched in the gut. How could they still be friends when it will be so obvious that he dumped her for Zayn? She’ll know for sure that he was with him while they were still together, there’s no getting that past her. But despite all that Louis forced his voice out of this throat, “Of course we’ll stay in touch.” It comes out rough and guilty, but with no time to think about it he wraps the call up with a goodbye. He’ll deal with the friends’ thing later.

~~.~~

They’re all standing in a rehearsal room before a concert when Harry starts to speak.

“What’s this I hear about you and Eleanor, lou?” Louis head snaps up.

“What?”

“She called me before, asking for a key to our place so she could grab her stuff. She sounded upset.” Harry says, looking at Louis questionably.

Louis eyes drift to Zayn’s who just stares at him, his mouth slightly agape. He couldn’t have done it already; we still needed to talk about this. Zayn wasn’t ready for this.

Louis, who’s usually so cocky and full of life, bows his head looking at the floor. “I broke up with her.”

“What why?” The three boys who didn’t have a clue about any of this yell at him in unison. Rushing over to him to try and console him the best they can.

“Are you alright then, mate?” Niall asks, worriedly, his hands flailing around Louis not sure if he should hug him or pat his shoulder. He doesn’t get the chance to decide as Harry engulfs Louis in a hug, crushing his chest.

This isn’t what Louis wanted. He’s happy about the situation, but he can’t tell the boys that yet, not when the only person he wants to be hugging him right now is standing against the wall, his eyes full of shock and slight terror.

“Did something happen?” Liam asks concerned, placing his hand on Louis shoulder.

Louis pushes against Harry getting him to loosen his grip. When Louis can breathe better he sighs, “It was just getting too hard, y’know? We hardly got to see each other and I didn’t know when all of this,” he gestures to the five of them, referring to the band, “was going to end. So I cut it off before we both became too invested in a doomed relationship. I don’t know what else I could have done.”

Zayn hears Louis’ words clearly from the other side of the room, knowing that he was the reason Louis’ talked about a doomed relationship with Eleanor, and it makes him feel incredibly guilty. He can feel his stomach turning as Louis looks over at him again, trying to figure out what he’s thinking. Before Louis can open his mouth, the other three boys are engulfing him in a group hug, before they’re called upstairs for the show.

Louis doesn’t get a chance to talk to Zayn until after the concert.

~~.~~

“Zayn!” Louis yells behind Zayn as he walks down the corridor to the change room. He doesn’t stop. Louis runs faster after him, grabbing his hand and physically forcing him to stop walking.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks concerned.

Zayn looks at him angrily, causing Louis to shrink back slightly. “Why did you do it?”

When Louis only stares at him blankly he continues, “Why did you break up with Eleanor before we had time to talk it over?”

“I told you I was going to do it, didn’t I?” Louis stares at him trying to understand what he’s thinking.

“Dammit Lou, I wanted to talk it through with you before you went and did something rash like this. I should have known you’d jump the gun, I had things to say to you,” Zayn runs his hands through his hair frustrated.

Louis reaches forward for his hand, holding it tightly. “Then tell me now.”

Zayn takes a deep breath, looking Louis right in the eyes. “I’m not ready for this.”

“What?”

“Lou, I’m sorry. But when you were with Eleanor this didn’t seem as real. I guess maybe she was like my safety, I knew that our relationship wouldn’t go any further. But then you broke up with her, you threw her away for me-,”

Louis interrupts, “Isn’t that what I was supposed to do? I want to be with you Zayn, not Eleanor. I thought you’d be happy.”

Zayn looks down at his feet, “I am happy Lou.”

Louis lifts Zayn’s chin up slightly with his fingertips, “Then what are you afraid of?”

He doesn’t answer for a minute, instead staring right at Louis, wondering to himself why he has to make this so difficult. He has Louis, so what does he have to be scared of?

“I’m afraid you’ll do the same thing to me. When you find someone better you’ll chuck me to the side and forget about me. I’m afraid you’re the kind of person who would do it without a second thought, just like you did to Eleanor.”

Louis wants to interrupt, to tell him that it wasn’t an easy decision for him to leave Eleanor, but somehow he can’t say it.

“I mean, could you promise me Louis? Could you promise that we’re forever and that you won’t leave me behind if a better opportunity opens up to you? Because if you could then I have nothing to worry about.”

Louis opens his mouth, thinking over what Zayn had just asked him. Could he promise him? Was Zayn that insecure that he needed Louis to promise to keep him around? This isn’t the Zayn that he knows. Louis knows that there is only one thing he can say, the only truthful thing. “No, I can’t.”

Zayn gives a small smile, “Yeah I thought as much.” He looks back at Louis, both of their eyes water as brown and blue stare into one another.

“Thank you for everything, Louis.” He says, pressing his lips to Louis’, for what feels like the final time. After a moment he pulls away, turning away from him and heading down the corridor. Louis stands there not entirely sure of what just happened, he can’t make himself do anything but stare at the back of Zayn’s head as it disappears out of sight.

He hears heavy footsteps come to a stop behind him; he doesn’t turn around already knowing it’s the other boys.

“Was that Zayn just now?” Liam asks, looking at Louis.

Harry comes to stand in front of him, noticing that his blue eyes have turned glassy with unshed tears. “Whoa, Louis, what’s happened?”

Louis draws in a shaky breath, “He’s decided to leave.”

The other boys look at him shocked, not knowing the details of Louis and Zayn’s relationship; they don’t understand what Louis means. But Louis doesn’t mind, he turns away from them walking down the hall in the opposite direction to Zayn.

Its okay, everyone will find out tomorrow.

Notes

I left the ending open like that on purpose, so make of it what you will.

Laters Zayn