Niall's view:
“Niall we have to be at the studio soon! We’re gonna be late!” Liam yelled. I slumped out of bed and took the pills on my night stand. I felt worse than any hangover I’ve had. This one was different. My stomach hurt. I got off my bed and walked to my closet. I put on clean clothes and sprayed some cologne on me. I opened the door to my room and almost passed out from the headache the immense light caused me. “Niall, oh hey you're up.” Zayn said helping me stand straighter.
“Where is Harry?” I asked. Zayn looked paler and almost nervous.
“He went with Louis to the studio early.” He had a wavering voice.
“Oh.” I was skeptical. I may be hung over but he wasn’t telling me something. We got downstairs and I was walking slowly everywhere I went.
“Niall, you seem to be doing well.” Liam was disappointed.
“I think I need to skip out on today.” I said sitting at the table.
“You can't. Everyone needs to be at the studio to rehearse and go through the show stuff.” Liam said giving me a prick face.
“That’s a bunch of crap because Harry got to miss an entire day!” I shot back.
“Harry didn’t get drunk though. Harry didn’t kidnap someone. Harry didn’t leave L.A.” Liam scolded.
“Well I'm sorry I'm not Harry!” I yelled back. I got up and went to sit in the car. They were out there in a few minutes and in the silent car. No one dared to speak the entire ride. Once we got to the studio everyone tensed. I felt the comfortable level in the van lessen. When we stepped out fans and paparazzi pressed the gates harder. We all smiled and waved to them then bee lined for the door. There were security guards out there today. Once we were inside our personal body guards were there to accompany us. Harry wasn’t in the hallway nor was Louis. That seemed to check out. Now if only Louis is here I think it's safe to assume where Harry is.
“Everyone follow me.” Colby waved us on. We did and ended up in a room with several doors.
“Louis and Harry came early so we have them finished. We want Liam in makeup to get his skin tone recorded. Zayn has wardrobe for measuring. Niall, Ned needs to see you.” A lady read off a clipboard. “Ok, let’s move!” She rushed everyone off. I stayed still not understanding where Ned was.
“Niall, come this way.” Gordy nodded to a door. I slowly but surely made my way to where I needed to be with the assistance of Gordy.
“Hey Niall, come on in!” Ned greeted when I walked in. I flinched because of the headache I still had even after taking the pills.
“You wanted to see me sir?” I question my presence.
“Yes, we need to talk. Gordy could you?” Ned nodded to the door and Gordy stepped out.
“Am I in trouble?” I asked raising a brow.
“You tell me.” He handed me three things; a magazine, a paper, and a printed out internet article. The magazine had a sticky note book marking an editorial. I opened it and saw my angry face punching a photographer. On the side there were other angled shots of the same thing, ‘Niall Horan from One Direction has anger issues.’ was the leading title. I grabbed the paper and looked at the front page being about my speedy drive to the ghost town I was in. Pictures of me walking into a liquor store and stumbling out were on the page. I read a few paragraphs talking about my walking in and how I came out hours later after going in. I was done reading that and furrowed my brow. The internet article was about my anxiety and leaving Brazil early. A few things positive about Selena helping me as a friend and that was about it.
“I don’t understand.” I said looking at him.
“We can't have this type of publicity from a member of One Direction. This show could go downhill very fast if you are leaving town and getting drunk.” Ned looked displeased.
“I have anxiety medication that I take intermediate to help. I don’t get drunk often.” I defended.
“Is that so?” He pulled out his tablet and pulled up an article about me being drunk and carrying Harry with the help of fans and taking them into the hotel room. I wasn’t drunk, I was just a little messed up that night form all the stimulation.
“So why aren’t you talking to Harry about this?” I asked, I felt like he was getting off the hook for everything and the bus was just backing up to hit me over and over again.
“I already talked to him. He explained his case and we are on the same page. You on the other hand, are not on the same page. You are all over the place and the producers have been getting mad as well as management.” He sighed. I fiddled with my fingers.
“I will fix it. I have an idea.” I said with a very fake smile.
“Horan we can't have any of this. Try harder.” He said and motioned to the door. I went outside and took in some air.
“Niall, are you ok?” Gordy asked.
“You want the honest answer?”
“Yes.” Gordy nodded.
“No.” I finally didn’t lie about that and it felt great. I was able to slump my shoulders and sigh.
“Want to talk about it?” He asked me.
“No.” I leaned against the wall.
“Ok.” Gordy just dropped it. We stood there breathing loudly. It felt good to just breathe. “I think it's time we go back to the main studio.” He said after a few minutes.
“I do too.” I pushed myself off the wall and followed him in. He led me through the hallways and we ended up back stage.
“So everyone walks out together and look like you're having fun.” Ned was telling us the run through. “This happens every night. You take your seat in your color chair. The teams go by color not names because that would be too competitive. We already pre did the colors but if you want to change feel free to speak up.”
“Good, I want something else.” Liam said.
“What would you like?” He asked. Zayn had black, I was green, Harry was red, and Louis was blue. Liam got stuck with brown, quite a comical color but he wasn’t about to keep it.
“Yellow.” He said.
“We will change it as soon as we can.” He smiled. He said something into a walky talky quietly. “So we walk out and then sit. We have a host that will introduce you as a cue. Then the show has started. Everything is live so try not to cuss. We bleep out what we can but it's not as easy as you think.” He chuckled and everyone else did. That is going to be hard for me especially because I'm Irish. I just have tendencies and cussing is one of them. “Let’s do a run through.”
“Places, everyone, in your places, come on!” The same lady yelled. People scrambled to get everywhere and we just stood there. Our bodyguards were off to the sides of back stage watching us. Gordy waved with a giant smile on his face. He was bubbly and smiley all the time. I used to be like that. I just need to find some type of happiness. I sighed at my first thought, Claire; I pushed the thought away fast enough before my eyes became too watery. Why were they watery? Man, I’m so stupid.
“You're judges and coaches, One Direction.” Someone yelled. This colorful screen parted and we were able to see the stage lights blinding us. We walked out and waved to no one like idiots then sat on our chairs.
“What do we do if there are special performances or we perform?” Harry asked. I glanced at him for the first time. He looked like crap. He had slight scruff on his face, you wouldn’t notice unless under the hot white lights like we are now, and his curls that were usually springy were flattened. His clothes were worn and crinkly.
“Guest performances; you just watch and enjoy. If you perform in the beginning of the show, you just don’t walk out with everyone else. Your body guard will also be a guide for the first couple of shows. If it's in the middle of the show you would walk down under the stage.”
“Where is that?” Zayn asked.
“Here.” Ned started walking and we followed him down the stairs from our elevated chairs then through a door that lead under the stage. We walked in a tight corridor and ended up on the left side of the stage, closest to makeup and wardrobe.
“I see.” Zayn and Harry nodded.
“It's a really flowing process. Most of the first five to ten shows will just be contestants.” Ned instructed. “You won't leave the chairs for much.” He stopped and listened to someone talking into his ear piece. “Zayn, make up is ready for you. Liam, you have wardrobe along with Niall. Harry, Louis, management has dropped by to speak with you.” Ned commanded us. We were taken away to our destinations.
“You feel ok?” Liam asked me. Even though he's pissed at me he still cares and that little bit of him is stronger than anything.
“No.” I told Gordy I didn’t feel ok and it felt great to let someone know I hurt. Telling Liam felt even better than telling Gordy. I should just start telling the world I feel like crap and hate everything. Maybe then I would feel better.
“Do you need to talk about it?” He asked trying on some jeans.
“No.” I simply replied. This plan Ned helped me come to realize is I need to just stop going out and talking to people. I need to figure out what I feel before I can do anything. I know I hurt but I need to know what's making me act out in such destructive ways.
“We are always here for you.” Liam mumbled. I looked at him and just nodded. He returned this action saying he understood me. After getting measured and putting on different things we were done in wardrobe. Zayn came in and I went to make up.
“Have a seat.” Rae said. I sat down and noticed colors of makeup everywhere. She started to put on creams and powders. “You are paler than the other boys.” She tried starting conversation.
“I'm Irish.” I said like it was the only excuse I had. I use it a lot for things but some of them don’t make sense. It's just for a laugh. Rae laughed. She wrote on paper some letters and numbers.
“That’s just the skin type you have.” She informed me. I guess I was staring because I didn’t ask anything. She then wrote down numbers. “That is the shade you need and this is the powder you need.” She was talking me through everything. I was learning about makeup which was funny.
“So what do you do for fun?” I asked her.
“Nothing, I do everyone's makeup all the time so I don’t have time for anything fun.” She said picking up a wipe and wiping down my face. It smelled bad but I could tell it was full of chemicals to take off makeup.
“Do you go out?” I asked her.
“No. I don’t have friends. I'm always on the job and just make friends with my clients. Other than that I work with my dad and travel.” She said.
“Who’s your dad?” I looked at her. She paused and looked at me.
“It’s Colby.” She smiled.
“Oh.” I said. She was done and I was to leave so someone else could get everything done. Gordy took me to a room with some papers on a table. We sat down and I shuffled through them. Soon Louis and Liam came in. Zayn entered with his guide and guard. When Harry came in I didn’t bother to look at him.
“Management is here and wants to speak with you.” Ned poked his head in then out. The two guys and one lady shuffled in with their briefcases.
“This show is picking up a lot of attention. We are glad that we came to agreements because we start in two days. Tomorrow is a day of rest no one is to be doing anything too hard on themselves. No parties, no girls, and no alcohol.” They looked at me. “We need everyone alert and ready. Sleep all day if you need too, we just need a fresh One Direction to show up at this studio; be at door seven at eight A.M. The first round of contestants will be getting ready so make sure to stay out of sight. Your guards will be by your side at all times just in case you run into a problem. You will be judging so make sure to critic them on everything. Don’t be afraid to be harsh.” They looked at Liam. “See you in forty-eight hours boys.” They shuffled out and we just sat there looking at one another.
“This is it.” Liam said.
“Our own TV show.” Zayn added.
“Wow.” Louis said.
“I have to go.” Harry stood up.
“Where are you going?” Lou asked him.
“Uh… I was just going to get Starbucks.” He glanced at me then looked away. He was lying.
“I'll go with you. I could go for a Grande latte.” Zayn smiled.
“No.” Harry said urgent. “I mean… I'm meeting some old time friend there and I don’t want you to feel left out.” He was definitely lying now.
“Oh. Have fun. Remember to listen to management Harry.” Liam scolded.
“I will Liam.” He nodded and stepped out.
“You know where he’s actually going.” I said bitterly.
“I know.” Liam shook his head.
“So why let him go?” I seethed.
“I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, which isn’t much.” Liam added. Louis was ready to leave because he was walking out with Zayn in tow. Liam stood up and stretched. “I'm going to use this extra day to my advantage.” He yawned. I yawned as a reaction to his reflex. “Looks like you should too.” He didn’t mean me yawning though. I could tell he was basically saying ‘pull your loose ends together before we do this’. I nodded. We were home faster than I thought. It felt good to fall on my bed and breathe in the musk of my sheets. I haven’t showered in a while and I did need to clean some. I took my sheets down stairs and shoved them in the washer. I turned the knobs to the needed cycles and then headed up stairs to shower in my bathroom. As I was stripping down Louis came busting in.
“Sorry mate I need to use this.” He grabbed a straightener and left. There was no privacy in this house. I was getting used to it though. After two years, almost three, you learn. Also Louis only straightens his hair when he has a date. That means El is going to be coming by tonight. I took my time in the shower mostly because I like to think. This fame thing has gone to Harry’s head. I don’t know how I'm going to be able to do this show with wanting to comment on everything he says. I just can't stand him right now. I will have to talk to him sometime but I know what he has been doing and I just can't handle actually facing him on it. Plus the stuff he said to me I can't forget. He knows how I feel about her and the only way she would know is if he told her so I know he isn’t on my side anymore. The water got cold so I got out and headed to a bed with no sheets.
Claire’s view:
“He's here guys!” I hollered. Everyone kind of stopped and looked at me weirdly. “He got us Starbucks.” I said blushing and avoiding their gazes. They all cheered feeling the excitement. Harry wanted to hang out today but I knew I had neglected Justin’s musicians the time I promised them. I said he could come and practice with us and he was more than delighted too. I texted him and told him a bunch of different Starbucks drinks everyone wanted and he said he would get them before he came. Everyone had been playing instruments and dancing already because we didn’t have time to wait so we were sweaty and a little run down. I checked to make sure he wasn’t having trouble carrying and getting doors but he was.
“Lou, could you go help him?” I asked her.
“Sure.” She said heading out.
“So Styles huh?” Justin nudged me.
“It's not like that I swear.” I said.
“Well, one of his friends has it out for you.” Justin winked.
“So he’s told me.” I shook my head blushing.
“Well why don’t you talk to him?” Justin was meddling.
“I'm just not ready for a boyfriend right now.” I said harsh. Besides that I don’t even know Niall, Harry won't tell me so I assume neither will Justin.
“Well I think you should at least try before you veto the idea.” Justin was making me feel pressured. Niall really freaked me out a couple days ago, I did think he was okay, and I still do, kind of? I don’t even know any more, I just didn’t want to talk or think about it.
“Ok.” I said just to get him off my back. Harry and Lou came in holding several drink trays with different drinks.
“Grande latte,” Lou called out. Someone claimed it. Harry came over to me and kissed my cheek. I blushed badly because I knew everyone saw. Lou was calling out drink names as Harry handed her one after another. He looked at me in the middle of this assembly line and smiled from the left corner of his mouth. His green eyes looked especially green under his curls. He used to wear them up and in a whooshed way but after I told him I liked them down he hasn’t worn them up since. It's not that I didn’t like them up I just think he looks his age with them down. Up or down, he's still cute.
“How has it been going?” He asked.
“Well I'm sweaty and I feel like I should fall over any minute.”
“Glad it's going good.” He winked.
“You're not dressed to dance.” Justin questioned Harry's appearance.
“I uh, I came from work and didn’t really have time to grab clothes after coffee.” He scratched his head.
“I think Devin has some sweats that could fit.” I said.
“Hey Devin you got your extra sweats?” Justin called.
“Yeah they’re in my bag.” He called out.
“Could Harry use them?” I asked batting my eyelashes.
“Sure.” He said heading over to the back wall where we always pile our bags. “Here.” He handed them to Harry. Harry looked at me quizzical.
“The door over there is a closet to change in.” I said pointing to it. He grabbed my hand in the air and pulled me with him. Once the door closed I heard the music pick up again.
“So I know I said I would love to learn how to play piano and all but… I… I don’t exactly…”
“It's ok. You can be in the back with me and no one will see you.” I smiled. He couldn’t play obviously. I have seen One Direction perform and they don’t play instruments except for Niall doing a little guitar, which is really cool. It's all on a whim which bugs me, but it's their show.
“I just don’t want to suck completely.”
“You're going to get frustrated so try to take deep breaths and stay calm.” I said all while he was changing. Since I have seen him change it's easy to just get over the fact he is almost nude, then not, in front of me. He hugged me and just held me. “Harry?” I questioned.
“I missed you today.” He breathed out.
“We should probably go before they think –”
“You guys ok in there?” Justin asked.
“Yep, we’re just talking.” I said fast.
“Lou needs help getting a measure down still.” Justin said.
“Okay, coming.” As soon as I said that Harry grabbed me and picked me up. He held me just above his belly button and started to kiss me. He held me tight.
“We need to go.” I said pushing him back.
“Why?” He asked.
“I have a job to do.” I said opening the door. Once we emerged everyone stared at us.
“Places.” I clapped my hands. Everyone placed up and Harry sat in the back with me. I looked at him and smiled. He did the same. “Let’s start with ‘As Long As You Love Me’”. The music starts with a couple of simple piano chords. Then the bass drops and I switch to keyboard to do different sounds. We switch places on the bench so I could keep going from high to low and Harry got very confused. I grabbed his hands and placed them under mine on the keys. Justin was rapping Big Sean’s part in the front and Harry was trying to pull me away and go dance. He spun me into him and we started laughing. I pulled him off the dance floor and back to the piano. No one was behind; no one was ahead, only Lou wasn’t even playing. She stared blankly at the keyboard. “Let’s take a break, finish coffees, and I’ll let you guy’s warm-up and stretch.” I stopped the music.
“I thought we were getting it.” Justin frowned.
“Yeah you guys are doing so well I can't keep up.” I laughed. “Lou, come in the hallway.” I commanded.
“Okay.” She set her coffee down. “What's up?” I waited for the door to fully close to speak.
“Are you feeling well?” I asked her folding my arms.
“I’ve just been tired lately.” She shrugged.
“Well you aren’t playing and if you can't then you need to tell Justin so he isn’t expecting you.” I said stern. I don’t want her to bail last minute, even though I know Justin would call me as a fill in, it's not like her to do that to someone as nice as him.
“I will. I just need some sleep. I threw up this morning so I might be coming down with something.” She didn’t look well to me.
“Well I hope you feel better. I want you to go home. Just skip next rehearsal.” I instructed.
“Ok.” She went back in the studio and grabbed her bag and coffee. I waited outside the doors for her and as she walked past me I grabbed the coffee. “Hey.” She said high pitched.
“No coffee if you're not feeling well.”
“You are not old enough to tell me what to do.” She smiled.
“But I know this won't help you get better.” I dangled the cup in her face then threw it away.
“Huh.” She huffed and kept walking out. When I walked in questions rose.
“Did you tell her to leave?” Jeff asked.
“Did she quite?” Justin asked. Harry looked confused.
“No, she wasn’t feeling well and I told her to go home and rest. I don’t want anyone too tired dancing or playing when they are sick.” I looked at everyone. They all nodded. “If at any time you need a break by all means take it.” I smiled.
“You don’t over work us though.” Jeff said.
“That’s why I think she’s sick.” I said like it was pretty obvious.
“Well do we continue or call it a day?” Justin asked me.
“I love how you leave it all up to me.” I chuckled.
“You're the one teaching us.” He motioned to me.
“That doesn’t mean I know how to take charge of an entire music slash dance team.” I giggled.
“I think we could go for some more learning.” Jeff smiled. Everyone nodded as a whole.
“What song?” I asked looking at the CD Justin had.
“I still don’t get the duet part in ‘Beauty and A Beat’.” Justin shrugged.
“Let’s do it.” I smiled. The music started and Justin started to mouth the words and play guitar. I listened to him do what he was supposed to and since Lou was gone it sounded weird. Everyone in the back was doing great. I bumped into Justin’s back and hit the keys I was overly familiar with. He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer then danced on my back as I leaned around in a circle. I could be playing music with anyone and I treat it like a true show. I take music seriously and if I had to perform with someone I absolutely hated I would cheese it up like it was my job, because playing piano is my job. Justin was getting super cozy and I didn’t notice. Harry did because he wasn’t even trying to play notes on the little keyboard but instead glaring at Justin and I. “Great job!” I said stopping the music.
“Is it time to call it a day?” Justin asked.
“Yeah, I have to be home because I think Timberlake might be getting back.” I chuckled. Harry was looking at me expectantly. I slightly nodded so it went unnoticed by everyone else.
“So we’re not doing lunch today?” Justin asked.
“How about next rehearsal we do that.” I smiled.
“Alright, sounds good to me.” He started to head to the bathroom. Harry met him before he could get there and started talking to him. I tried to pretend I wasn’t listening but I was. I didn’t hear much just my name and Selena's name. When I was packed and Harry was changed back into skinny jeans we left together. He drove to my house nonchalantly.
“What did you talk to Justin about?” I asked trying to make it sound normal not nosy.
“Just asked him if he was back with Selena or not.” Harry shrugged.
“You play pretty well.” I said changing subjects.
“Thanks. Our shows aren’t really super organized; we usually just screw around and sing.” He chuckled.
“I know.” I said too fast.
“You have been to a show?” He cocked an eye brow.
“No, I just watched some… you know, YouTube videos.” I blushed.
“First our movie now YouTube videos, is someone becoming a fan?” He nudged me. I blushed more and avoided looking at him the best I could.
“Some of your songs are good for piano music that’s all.” I came up with a respectable lie.
“Would you play for me?” He asked.
“Yeah, come in.” I said getting out of the car. He turned the engine off and got out. He locked up the car with the press of the button. I waited for him on the stairs. Once he caught up he wrapped an arm around me to walk us in the house. Once inside he made himself at home and took off his shoes. “The studio is up the stairs to the left.” I said heading into the kitchen. He followed my instructions. I got waters and some apples. I headed up the stairs and realized we just got done playing and now we’re playing again. “We are pathetic.” I said coming in the room. He took an apple and took a bite.
“Why?” He asked with a full mouth.
“Because we just got done playing and now we are playing more.” I shrugged and took his phone. I opened it and plugged it into the jack to play his songs. ‘Almost Lover’ started to play it on the piano and he looked at me. “It's one of my favorites.” I laughed.
“Show me what you got.” He stood at the mirror side of the room and watched. I started to play on the chorus. The reason I like this song so much is because I think it's me. I think I deny my feelings for Harry because I don’t know how to start I'm afraid to be a lover for him. I don’t love him but the song says almost lover so I can say it in this context. I'm scared to lose the people I love so I just love as little as possible. I stopped and put his hands to the keys in a challenging way. “You ready for this?” He nodded.
“Go for it.” I laughed. He was playing some of the chords we learned and went over today. I laughed because in all fairness that’s probably the only chords he actually knows. He wasn’t bad though, he definitely took from today. He passed it on to me.
“You're gonna be smoked Styles.” I said. It doesn’t exactly go with the music but I had to do it anyway. I started playing scales. Flats, sharps, my little finger running up and down the keys as fast as I could. I lifted my hands rapidly “Your turn.” I whispered.
“I don’t have anything but what we did today.” He said.
“I could start teaching you.” I laughed.
“Let’s get started.” He said turning off the music. I placed him where I needed him and started to talk him through the notes he was going to learn. I'm an improvising player so I can write songs but mainly do it off the top of my head.
“Try this.” I said moving his fingers to be turned more.
“Like this?” He questioned, playing the notes.
“Yes, perfect.” I smiled at his excitement.

Notes