Grammar: Okay, so, I notice you change the POVS up a lot in this story to where it begins growing annoying and confusing. Try and stick with one POV for an entire chapter. It's okay to maybe switch once to another persons POV in the same chapter. But don't do it too much. The chapter lengths are good- not too long and not too short. You have great punctuation and spelling! Good job on that.

Plot Line: I've seen this plot used several times, so it didn't really pull me in as I would of liked it to do. The whole gang, bullying, kidnapping, plot is overused. I can tell you have a good base and love for writing. The plot line just isn't my cup of tea. But, you have neat, clean cut writing and all the skills are there. The only thing is, maybe add more detail in places. Detail helps a lot. Also, I found it odd that you used the bands names as their gang names. I'd of made up cool gang names for each gang instead of using their actual band names; or just address them as a gang. But I know you can make the plot line better and try to have your story stand out from others that have similar plot lines as yours. It's just I'm so used to reading this type of storyline that it slightly becomes repetitive.

Summary: The summary is a bit bland. Honestly, right away I could predict the story by simply just reading the summary. I've literally read tons and tons of stories where the girl or girls- in this case- get bullied by the main guys, rather it's One Direction or 5sos. That was a bit of a turn off. And I think you could have made the summary more interesting than what it is without revealing too much. There's a few things I would change in it. You don't really have to say, 'the night the story begins, Dani vanishes.' If you word that differently it will make a difference. Remember, the summary is the first thing- besides the cover- readers look at. Summaries have to be spot-on to make readers want to read chapter one and hopefully more and more.

Cover: The covers good. Nothing I didn't like or that needed fixed. It was a clear, clean cover.

Characters: Other than the other known characters like 5sos and One Direction and the other gangs, the characters were bland and poorly constructed- the main girls. A well character development is something everyone should have when it comes to writing. I should feel connected with the characters, but I wasn't. Take time to really build your characters. Even the smallest details about them matter. Make them super realistic; the more realistic, the better.

What should be fixed or changed: I love a good crime/thriller! With a bit of tweaking, this story will be solid. I see potential in it. You're a great writer. Also, work on building character. And if you need help doing that, please message me and I'd be glad to help. I'm here to make your story even more successful. Other than that, everything else is pretty good.

Overall Rating: In my honest opinion, yeah, the story does need a bit of work. Now, I'm not saying it is terrible or anything like that. There's just a few parts and stuff that needs cleaned up and fixed. The overall rating I give this story is a 6.

Notes

If you'd like a review for your story, please comment below. If you didn't like the review that was gave for your story, please message me or comment below and I'll remove the review right away.~One Direction 1O1.