A Part of Your World
Sorry but I Got to Go
I took the seat next to Harry, noting the stern expression he wore on his face. He didn’t say anything, but pulled out his iPad and focused his attention on a game. I leaned back in my seat.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked, very quietly. He kept playing his game and I wondered if he’d even heard me. Just before I was about to speak again, he responded.
“No. I have no right to be mad at you. I’m mad at myself, though, for even thinking that we were friends enough to talk about things. I obviously barely know you, so it’s not like anything was happening between us anyways.”
“Harry, we can talk – about anything you want.” I stuttered.
“Then why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?” His green eyes caught mine, piercing my soul.
“It’s complicated. I don’t think you’d understand.” I sighed.
“Try me. We have an hour plane ride.” He shut off his iPad and turned to face me.
I slouched in my seat and told him everything from Connor kissing me on the playground when we were eleven, to the countless times he’d cheated on me, to the first time he told me he loved me, how much my daddy approves of him and how much my momma doesn’t, and how he acted the night I’d come back from Atlanta.
Harry listened intently – something I loved about him. No one else cared about what I had to say that much.
“I guess it’s all a part of fitting that mold. I’m supposed to be married and pregnant right now – if I was really living up to everyone’s standards. Connor and I would be taking over his daddy’s farm and starting our own family.” I sighed. “But since we’re constantly on and off, we aren’t there yet. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be there with him, but other times I know that he’s probably what’s best for me.”
“How can someone who repeatedly hurts you be what’s best for you? And how can a life you don’t want, be what you need?” His gaze bore a hole into me as I looked for an answer, but found none. I shrugged my shoulders. “Just my opinion.” He smiled. “Oh, look we’re here!”
The plane touched down and we were soon all loaded into sleek, black SUVs and on our way to the arena. The boys played an amazing show. Gracie and I didn’t get to see too much of them since they were all running around for the show, but as soon as it was over and we were on our way to the hotel, we were all having conversation in the car.
“You guys wanna hit the pool tomorrow?” Liam yawned. We all nodded. They had another day off and I was looking forward to it. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, Gracie and I went straight to our rooms. Even though I was beyond tired, I tossed and turned. I couldn’t quit thinking about Harry’s words. How can a life you don’t want, be what you need?
He was right. I just had to figure out what life I did want, and how to get it. I didn’t want to live life miserable. But I didn’t want to disappoint my family, either. My phone vibrated, interrupting my thoughts.
Come down the hallway to the snack room. –Louis
I rolled my eyes. The clock read 3 am. I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I might as well go see what was up. I checked on Gracie and found that she was sound asleep. I grabbed the key and slipped quietly out the door. The lights in the hallway were insanely bright compared to the dark room I just left. I rubbed my eyes, and made my way into the snack room to find all of the boys and Josh, their drummer, sitting around eating vending machine food.
“Good morning, sunshine!” Louis called out.
“Nice pjs!” Niall smirked.
I scoffed at the two of them and took a seat at the table. “What’s going on?”
“Just a late night snack for those who can’t sleep. We thought you might still be awake.” Zayn tossed me a bag of Doritos.
Harry smiled at me from across the table. I smiled back, but quickly turned my focus to my bag of chips.
“Let’s play a game!” Liam was way too excited for it to be so late.
“Truth or dare.” Josh suggested. “I’ll start it!” He looked around the table. “Niall I dare you to shove everyone’s snacks into your mouth and take a picture and upload it to Twitter.”
Niall rolled his eyes. “Dares are supposed to be challenging, Devine.” Niall collected everyone’s food and began his task. Sure enough, he’d fit two bags of potato chips, three candy bars, and a bag of gummy bears into his mouth. Harry snapped the picture and Niall tweeted it. “My turn!” He managed to get out, after he’d swallowed some of the food. “Louis, truth or dare?”
“Hmm... truth.” Louis said, confidently.
“Is it true that Eleanor’s coming to the next show to see you?”
“No, she’s coming to see you. What the fuck, Niall? It’s supposed to be something good!” Louis scoffed.
Niall shrugged. “I read it on some update site and I hadn’t heard the news yet!” He defended himself.
Everyone laughed and Louis looked around the table for his victim.
“Loren…” His gaze stopped directly on me. “Truth or dare?”
I thought that he could ask something personal and I wasn’t ready to explain myself. Plus, how bad could his dare really be?
“Dare!” I was much more awake now. I sat up in my seat, awaiting the challenge.
“Lay a big wet one on Harry.” He smirked. My face turned bright pink.
“What? How’s that fair?” I cut in.
“Yeah, Louis. She doesn’t have to.” Harry spoke up, probably remembering what I’d said earlier about Connor.
“Ah, ah, ah.” He grinned, devilishly. “My dare, my rules.”
I sighed, realizing what I’d gotten myself into. “Harry, he’s right. I have to do this.” I needed to prove to myself that Harry was just a friend.
I stood up from my chair and walked right over to Harry. He looked up at me and I grabbed his hand. I shot Louis a smartass look and then kissed Harry’s hand. Everyone but Louis burst into laughter, clearly not expecting that from me.
“What? No. You have to kiss him!” Louis complained.
“I did.” I retorted. “You didn’t specify how or where.” I grinned, turning to find my seat. Niall reached out to high five me, so did Zayn, Liam, and Josh.
Louis put his head in his hands and just laughed. He’d been defeated at his own game.
Our game continued on into the night and was full of crazy dares and brutal truths. Harry twerked on a hotel staff member and Josh had to streak through the hallways. I’d never laughed more in my life. Around 5:30am no one could hold their eyelids open so we decided to call it a night.
I climbed into bed, happy. I’d bonded with those boys tonight. I needed that – I needed them. It felt good to have people who didn’t expect something from me – they just appreciated me.
“Loren, it’s a pool day with One Direction! Wake up!” Gracie pulled the covers off of me. I peeked at the clock – 8:24am.
“Gracie, they’re not up yet. Go back to sleep!” I demanded.
“Well, when will they be up?”
“Let’s try 11, okay?” I mumbled, falling back asleep almost instantly.
I woke up to a quiet room. I looked over to find Gracie’s bed empty. I had a mini panic attack as I called her name and she didn’t reply. I leapt out of bed and looked for any clues.
Gracie and the rest of us are at the pool. Come down when you wake up. Xx - Harry
I exited out of the text message and checked the clock – 12:43pm. The message was sent at eleven so they hadn’t been up for too long. I slipped on my bikini and grabbed a towel, sunscreen, and my aviators and headed for the elevator.
The pool was pretty empty. Besides our group, there were two other older couples, so we didn’t have to worry about fans or paparazzi. We played pool games most of the afternoon, but I soon decided to retreat to the side of the pool. The boys catered to Gracie as I sunbathed in the chair. I dozed in and out of consciousness. I was startled when I felt drops of water hitting my back. I looked up to see Harry.
“Hey!” I squealed, feeling the cold water drip from his curls. He laughed.
“We were supposed to have lunch today.” He took a seat in the chair next to me.
“Oh yeah. I have to leave soon, too.” I frowned, wishing the trip would have lasted longer.
“Wanna take a quick walk to the vending machine for lunch?” He wagged his eyebrows. I giggled.
“Why not?” I wrapped my towel around my waist and followed him inside. The vending machine was just around the corner. I picked a chocolate candy bar and Harry picked some sour candy.
“I’m glad we got to hang out some more. You’re fun.” He grinned as he leaned against the wall.
“You’re all becoming my good friends. I’m glad.” I smiled. There was a silence as we munched on our food, but I decided to break it.
“Harry, how did you discover what you really wanted out of life?” I asked. “I don’t know what kind of life I want, and that’s kind of important, seeing as I need to go after it.”
“You’ve kind of been told what to want all of your life. What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the chance?” He tossed his wrapper into the trash can.
“Hmmm… I’ve always wanted to travel the world – to see new places and blog about it.” I laughed. “Silly, I know, but I want to see the world and I love to write.”
“I think you know what you want out of life.” He smiled.
“You’re right. Thanks” I smiled. “I don’t wanna just live out my whole life in some small town. I want to travel the world!”
Harry’s eyes lit up. “Why don’t you start by spending a month on the road with us?”
My breath hitched in my throat. “What?”
"Not only would you get to hang out with us all the time, but it would be a jumpstart on the life of travel that you want. We'll be jetting around the US, then back to London and Paris soon. That's more than you'd get to see sitting at home.” He shrugged.
“That'd be a dream come true. But I don't have money to travel the world.” I looked to the ground.
"Loren, are you seriously worried about that? We'll take care of you." He put his hand on my shoulder.
"I can't just have you pay for my living for a whole month!"
"What if you had a job with the crew?" He asked.
"It would make this whole thing more of a possibility that it is now."
"Our hairdresser is looking for an assistant. I know it's not your interest, but it's a paying job and you would only be working a few hours a day. Plus it pays good." He suggested.
"Are you sure?" I questioned, hoping I could actually get the job.
“I’d have to talk to Lou, but she and I are really good friends, so I’m sure she’d give you the job.”
“Harry, that’d be wonderful!” I hugged his neck.
“Are you positive you’re ready? You won’t get any breaks to visit home until the month is over. Then you can decide whether or not traveling and blogging is what you want out of life.”
“I’m sure!” I said, hugging him again. I think.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked, very quietly. He kept playing his game and I wondered if he’d even heard me. Just before I was about to speak again, he responded.
“No. I have no right to be mad at you. I’m mad at myself, though, for even thinking that we were friends enough to talk about things. I obviously barely know you, so it’s not like anything was happening between us anyways.”
“Harry, we can talk – about anything you want.” I stuttered.
“Then why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?” His green eyes caught mine, piercing my soul.
“It’s complicated. I don’t think you’d understand.” I sighed.
“Try me. We have an hour plane ride.” He shut off his iPad and turned to face me.
I slouched in my seat and told him everything from Connor kissing me on the playground when we were eleven, to the countless times he’d cheated on me, to the first time he told me he loved me, how much my daddy approves of him and how much my momma doesn’t, and how he acted the night I’d come back from Atlanta.
Harry listened intently – something I loved about him. No one else cared about what I had to say that much.
“I guess it’s all a part of fitting that mold. I’m supposed to be married and pregnant right now – if I was really living up to everyone’s standards. Connor and I would be taking over his daddy’s farm and starting our own family.” I sighed. “But since we’re constantly on and off, we aren’t there yet. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be there with him, but other times I know that he’s probably what’s best for me.”
“How can someone who repeatedly hurts you be what’s best for you? And how can a life you don’t want, be what you need?” His gaze bore a hole into me as I looked for an answer, but found none. I shrugged my shoulders. “Just my opinion.” He smiled. “Oh, look we’re here!”
The plane touched down and we were soon all loaded into sleek, black SUVs and on our way to the arena. The boys played an amazing show. Gracie and I didn’t get to see too much of them since they were all running around for the show, but as soon as it was over and we were on our way to the hotel, we were all having conversation in the car.
“You guys wanna hit the pool tomorrow?” Liam yawned. We all nodded. They had another day off and I was looking forward to it. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, Gracie and I went straight to our rooms. Even though I was beyond tired, I tossed and turned. I couldn’t quit thinking about Harry’s words. How can a life you don’t want, be what you need?
He was right. I just had to figure out what life I did want, and how to get it. I didn’t want to live life miserable. But I didn’t want to disappoint my family, either. My phone vibrated, interrupting my thoughts.
Come down the hallway to the snack room. –Louis
I rolled my eyes. The clock read 3 am. I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I might as well go see what was up. I checked on Gracie and found that she was sound asleep. I grabbed the key and slipped quietly out the door. The lights in the hallway were insanely bright compared to the dark room I just left. I rubbed my eyes, and made my way into the snack room to find all of the boys and Josh, their drummer, sitting around eating vending machine food.
“Good morning, sunshine!” Louis called out.
“Nice pjs!” Niall smirked.
I scoffed at the two of them and took a seat at the table. “What’s going on?”
“Just a late night snack for those who can’t sleep. We thought you might still be awake.” Zayn tossed me a bag of Doritos.
Harry smiled at me from across the table. I smiled back, but quickly turned my focus to my bag of chips.
“Let’s play a game!” Liam was way too excited for it to be so late.
“Truth or dare.” Josh suggested. “I’ll start it!” He looked around the table. “Niall I dare you to shove everyone’s snacks into your mouth and take a picture and upload it to Twitter.”
Niall rolled his eyes. “Dares are supposed to be challenging, Devine.” Niall collected everyone’s food and began his task. Sure enough, he’d fit two bags of potato chips, three candy bars, and a bag of gummy bears into his mouth. Harry snapped the picture and Niall tweeted it. “My turn!” He managed to get out, after he’d swallowed some of the food. “Louis, truth or dare?”
“Hmm... truth.” Louis said, confidently.
“Is it true that Eleanor’s coming to the next show to see you?”
“No, she’s coming to see you. What the fuck, Niall? It’s supposed to be something good!” Louis scoffed.
Niall shrugged. “I read it on some update site and I hadn’t heard the news yet!” He defended himself.
Everyone laughed and Louis looked around the table for his victim.
“Loren…” His gaze stopped directly on me. “Truth or dare?”
I thought that he could ask something personal and I wasn’t ready to explain myself. Plus, how bad could his dare really be?
“Dare!” I was much more awake now. I sat up in my seat, awaiting the challenge.
“Lay a big wet one on Harry.” He smirked. My face turned bright pink.
“What? How’s that fair?” I cut in.
“Yeah, Louis. She doesn’t have to.” Harry spoke up, probably remembering what I’d said earlier about Connor.
“Ah, ah, ah.” He grinned, devilishly. “My dare, my rules.”
I sighed, realizing what I’d gotten myself into. “Harry, he’s right. I have to do this.” I needed to prove to myself that Harry was just a friend.
I stood up from my chair and walked right over to Harry. He looked up at me and I grabbed his hand. I shot Louis a smartass look and then kissed Harry’s hand. Everyone but Louis burst into laughter, clearly not expecting that from me.
“What? No. You have to kiss him!” Louis complained.
“I did.” I retorted. “You didn’t specify how or where.” I grinned, turning to find my seat. Niall reached out to high five me, so did Zayn, Liam, and Josh.
Louis put his head in his hands and just laughed. He’d been defeated at his own game.
Our game continued on into the night and was full of crazy dares and brutal truths. Harry twerked on a hotel staff member and Josh had to streak through the hallways. I’d never laughed more in my life. Around 5:30am no one could hold their eyelids open so we decided to call it a night.
I climbed into bed, happy. I’d bonded with those boys tonight. I needed that – I needed them. It felt good to have people who didn’t expect something from me – they just appreciated me.
“Loren, it’s a pool day with One Direction! Wake up!” Gracie pulled the covers off of me. I peeked at the clock – 8:24am.
“Gracie, they’re not up yet. Go back to sleep!” I demanded.
“Well, when will they be up?”
“Let’s try 11, okay?” I mumbled, falling back asleep almost instantly.
I woke up to a quiet room. I looked over to find Gracie’s bed empty. I had a mini panic attack as I called her name and she didn’t reply. I leapt out of bed and looked for any clues.
Gracie and the rest of us are at the pool. Come down when you wake up. Xx - Harry
I exited out of the text message and checked the clock – 12:43pm. The message was sent at eleven so they hadn’t been up for too long. I slipped on my bikini and grabbed a towel, sunscreen, and my aviators and headed for the elevator.
The pool was pretty empty. Besides our group, there were two other older couples, so we didn’t have to worry about fans or paparazzi. We played pool games most of the afternoon, but I soon decided to retreat to the side of the pool. The boys catered to Gracie as I sunbathed in the chair. I dozed in and out of consciousness. I was startled when I felt drops of water hitting my back. I looked up to see Harry.
“Hey!” I squealed, feeling the cold water drip from his curls. He laughed.
“We were supposed to have lunch today.” He took a seat in the chair next to me.
“Oh yeah. I have to leave soon, too.” I frowned, wishing the trip would have lasted longer.
“Wanna take a quick walk to the vending machine for lunch?” He wagged his eyebrows. I giggled.
“Why not?” I wrapped my towel around my waist and followed him inside. The vending machine was just around the corner. I picked a chocolate candy bar and Harry picked some sour candy.
“I’m glad we got to hang out some more. You’re fun.” He grinned as he leaned against the wall.
“You’re all becoming my good friends. I’m glad.” I smiled. There was a silence as we munched on our food, but I decided to break it.
“Harry, how did you discover what you really wanted out of life?” I asked. “I don’t know what kind of life I want, and that’s kind of important, seeing as I need to go after it.”
“You’ve kind of been told what to want all of your life. What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the chance?” He tossed his wrapper into the trash can.
“Hmmm… I’ve always wanted to travel the world – to see new places and blog about it.” I laughed. “Silly, I know, but I want to see the world and I love to write.”
“I think you know what you want out of life.” He smiled.
“You’re right. Thanks” I smiled. “I don’t wanna just live out my whole life in some small town. I want to travel the world!”
Harry’s eyes lit up. “Why don’t you start by spending a month on the road with us?”
My breath hitched in my throat. “What?”
"Not only would you get to hang out with us all the time, but it would be a jumpstart on the life of travel that you want. We'll be jetting around the US, then back to London and Paris soon. That's more than you'd get to see sitting at home.” He shrugged.
“That'd be a dream come true. But I don't have money to travel the world.” I looked to the ground.
"Loren, are you seriously worried about that? We'll take care of you." He put his hand on my shoulder.
"I can't just have you pay for my living for a whole month!"
"What if you had a job with the crew?" He asked.
"It would make this whole thing more of a possibility that it is now."
"Our hairdresser is looking for an assistant. I know it's not your interest, but it's a paying job and you would only be working a few hours a day. Plus it pays good." He suggested.
"Are you sure?" I questioned, hoping I could actually get the job.
“I’d have to talk to Lou, but she and I are really good friends, so I’m sure she’d give you the job.”
“Harry, that’d be wonderful!” I hugged his neck.
“Are you positive you’re ready? You won’t get any breaks to visit home until the month is over. Then you can decide whether or not traveling and blogging is what you want out of life.”
“I’m sure!” I said, hugging him again. I think.
Notes
Thanks for the sweet comments! xx :)
I came across this story and really like it. Any plans to update it in the future?
10/28/15