“Through thick and thin, it’s you and me.”

April 15, 2012
The Dahm Mansion

Nothing. I am nothing. I have nothing. I am nothing. But nothing is something. Right? I should have some power over something? Right? Yeah, but I threw it away like it was nothing. So therefore, I have nothing. And I am nothing.


Our love could have been endless- it could have lasted forever. But I couldn’t run away with him. Why? I don’t know. I just didn’t think I could stay away from Dahm. Yet, this is where I’ll be staying for the rest of my life.


He loved me. He really did. And all this time I still thought it was a lie. I love him too. I made it apparent that I loved him too.


“Anastasia. Please get out of your bed.” Malina and Niall have been staying at Dahm with me for the past 4 days and I have appreciated it. “You’ve been in that same position for four days now.”I groaned and turned over to my other side. “Really? Even when you’re depressed you’re a smart ass.”


Malina walked into my bedroom and opened the curtains by the window, making me cover my eyes. “Why would you do that?” I said and she sat down on my bed beside me. “I was doing fine in the dark.”


“You’re not a vampire Ana.” She shook her head. “And besides. I’m proud of you.”


“Why?” I furrowed my brows and she pulled the covers off of me.


“Because I thought the only thing you could do was cry and groan. I forgot you could talk.” She laughed.


“You think that’s funny? I just lost the man I love and you’re laughing?” Tears gathered in my eyes again and she sighed.


“Okay. You listen, and you listen good. Just because you’re sitting alone and fucking depressed doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to be.” She stood up and walked to the door. “You’re coming down for breakfast. If you’re not down there in ten minutes, I’m coming up here with a rope, tying it to your legs, and dragging you down those damned stairs.” She then smiled, and left.


I took a deep breath and stood up, pulling on some yoga pants and a tank. I brushed my ratty hair and looked at myself in the mirror.


Nothing. I had bags under my eyes and they were bright red. My cheeks were flushed and I could feel more tears burning in my eyes.


I took another deep breath and walked out of my room. I slowly crept down the stairs, and as soon as I walked into the dining room, Niall wrapped his arms around me.


“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling away.


“No. But I am going to stay down here for as long as I can.” I forced a smile and he sighed. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and some cereal.


What do you want Anastasia?

I want my cereal.


I shook my head and blew out a breath through my teeth, trying not to cry. I laughed at myself as I poured my cereal and then I put the stuff up, quickly walking back into the dining room.


“So what’s new?” I asked Malina, my voice barely audible.


“Niall and I went on our first date last night..” Malina searched my face and I took a bite of my cereal.


“That’s good.” I mumbled and she sighed.


“Penelope called you last night.” She blurted and I slowly looked at her. “She was wondering if you could talk and I told her clearly you weren’t in the mood. But she was asking what was wrong with Harry,” She stopped, and the name pained me entirely. “And she was also asking what you wanted to do for the bride party or something like that.” I sucked in my tears and Malina cleared her throat. “I think you should call her back.”


She stood up and walked over to me, handing me my phone. “Fine.” I rolled my eyes and stood up from the table, walking outside.


“Hello?” Penelope answered and a tear rolled down my cheek.


“Hey.” I huffed and she clapped.


“Oh my gosh. Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in days.” I wiped away my constant tears and scolded myself for crying.


“There’s a reason why I haven’t answered my phone…” I mumbled. “What did you need last night?” I began walking around the house to clear my mind and ran my fingers over… Red roses. I teared up again. Stop. He pushed you away… Remember?


I collapsed to the ground and buried my face in my knees. “Well I was calling to ask you what was wrong with Harry. He has been roaming around… Looking for you. There are new scratches under his eyes, and he actually made himself bleed this time. I don’t know what happened.” I ran my hand down my face many times and sighed. “And I was also calling to ask if you wanted to come to London with me.”


My mouth dropped. “London?”


“Yeah. My daddy gave me money to go to London and buy a few things for the wedding. He gave me enough money for two plane tickets, and enough money for me to stay for a week. And… I was wondering if you wanted that second plane ticket.” She seemed nervous asking me. I chewed on my lip.


“Why would you want me to go with you?” I asked, looking up to the sky.


“Look. I know that we both had a bad past together. I felt the tension. I did everything I could to warm up to you and you pushed me away. And I am so thankful that we are the way we are now. I feel like we could be really good friends. And I think that this week in London is a good opportunity for us to bond.” She was silent for a minute and I stood back up. “So?”


“Yeah. I’ll go.” I walked behind the house and she shrieked in my ear.


“Oh my gosh thank you. I’ll be there tomorrow to pick you up.” She then hung up before I could say anything else.


But then she called right back. “Hello?” I laughed a little.


“Anastasia.” Her tone changed completely. “Harry’s gone insane. I don’t know what’s going on.” She’s crying? “You know that china cabinet in the dining room? Yeah well he just broke it and everything in it. And he just broke everything in the kitchen, dishes and all.” She started breathing hard. “His hands are bloody and-”


“Who’s that on the phone?!” Harry yelled so loud that I could hear him.


“Anastasia.” Penelope cried and everything went silent. “Wait, stop.”


“Anastasia?” Harry’s voice flooded my ear and I choked on my heart. “You don’t have to say anything, you just have to listen. I messed up. I messed up bad. I shouldn’t have even told you to run away with me. All this is bullshit, yeah. I can’t be without you. It’s pissing me the hell off, and I can’t stop fighting everybody. Please come back to me.” I began to sob and I licked my lips.


“Trust me Harry. I won’t be late for the wedding.” I said, my voice cracking.


It was silent for a minute and I heard him yell out. “Anastasia. I don’t know what you’ve done, but it’s worse. I can’t stand to see him like this. You two belong together. I can tell that you feel useless, and he’s hurting everything just because he can’t have you. I want you two together.”


“No. Penelope. You two are… Getting married.” I began to sob harder.


“You belong together, Anastasia.” She took a deep breath and I smiled, but then shook it off.


“You’re still getting married. It pains me to say that, yes. But you deserve someone. And he’ll give you the love you’ve always been looking for.” I wiped away my tears and she laughed a little.


“He claims he already gave it all to you. So he can’t give it to anyone else-” She stopped. “He just left the house. And I don’t know where he’s going.”


“Just be here tomorrow. To pick me up. Please.” I begged and she sighed.


“Alright. I’ll be there at one. Bye.” She then hung up and I walked back into the house.


And I immediately broke down to the floor.


“Oh shit.” Niall rushed to me and helped me up. “Stop. Listen. Ana, we’ve already been through this. Crying isn’t going to make it any better.”


“Do you think Harry and I belong together?” I asked through my tears and he smiled.


“Of course. I know you belong together.” He smiled again and I ran my hand over my forehead.


“Ana.” Malina ran into the house, breathing hard.


“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking at her.


“It’s Harry.” She gasped, fanning herself. “Jesus, I’m gonna melt. Woo.” She took another breath before running up to me. “It’s Harry,” She repeated and I nodded my head. “He’s waiting for you in the front yard.”


“Me?” I asked and she nodded her head.


My God.


I stormed outside to see Harry leaning up against his Mercedes. Once he saw me, he began to walk up to me.


“Go home!” I yelled, hitting his chest and pushing him back once he stepped in front of me. “You broke my heart Harry! I want you to go home!”


“I’ll go home. After you tell me something.” He ripped his sunglasses off and his red eyes met mine. The scratches. “Why did you leave? I expected you to come after me. Why did you leave? After all we’ve been through-”


“You made me leave!” I screamed and he closed his eyes.


“But I didn’t expect you to actually leave!” He yelled back. “I was always taught that if you push someone away and they don’t turn back to you, then everything they told you was a lie and it wasn’t meant to be.”


“Do you honestly think I lied to you as hard as you lied to me?!” I threw at him and he took a step back. “I told myself to forgive you Harry, I honestly did. But every time I look at you, it hurts. I love you. Dammit, I love you. But you’re the one who pushed me away. You pushed me away.” I turned my back to him, and started to walk to the house.


“But now I want you back.” He grabbed my arm and yanked it from him.


“You wanted me back every time I ran away. And I gave myself back to you, many times. But not this time. No. I will show up to your wedding, because I am friends with Penelope. And it will hurt because I love you more than anything-”


“Then come back with me.” He suggested and I shook my head.


“No. My broken heart still loves you, and you should be thankful. Be thankful.” I laughed a little. “Leave. I want you gone. Don’t miss me, please. You should be happy with Penelope, because it’s always Penelope and Harry. Right?”


He immediately dropped to his knees and looked up at me. “Anastasia.”


“Goodbye, Headmaster Styles.” I leaned down towards him and looked at him in his eyes. “I had a great time listening to you. Trust me. And when you believe in us more than I do, then it’s time to let go.”


He stood up and ran his hands down his face. “I will always love you, Anastasia Greene. Dammit, I’ll love you forever. I won’t touch my wife like the way I touched you, I won’t love her the way I love you. That’s a promise.” Then he stroked my cheek before turning around and walking to his car.


I walked into the house and leaned against the door, sliding down it.


How could I be so stupid…?

Notes

Hullos! I would tell you how much I love you all individually but I don't have enough room for that, no.
Another update today :)

I love you more than a circle,
Because a circle never ends,
Kaleigh. xx