Mean Tweets

Eleanor POV

I walk into my bathroom for about the billionth time searching. Searching for the thing I always go in the to search for.
Relief.
I open my drawer and pick up the one thing that can give it to me. The shiny grey blade. I put both my hands on the counter hoisting myself up. I sit on the edge with my feet sitting in my sink. I reach in the drawer and wrap my fingers around the sharp object picking it up. Staring at my book that I had left open on the counter. The words were only in the book, but it felt like they were tattooed on me. The words make bruises that don’t fade away.
One Direction is so gay, and the saddest part is Louis’ girlfriend doesn’t even know her boyfriend has no interest in her.

But can we take a moment to talk about how ugly Eleanor is? She has a fat face, chubby thighs, she’s really just ugly.

why are all these people in love with her? I mean she’s nothing special! Really. Just another beard that no one will ever remember.

I sigh looking in the mirror. The things they point out are always the things I never liked about myself anyway. The insecurities. I had always known I had a fat face. I don’t have a thigh gap. But I can fix that if I keep starving myself. The hunger will fade. What really stung was that I’m ugly. I feel tears form in my eyes as I pick up the blade to do what I came in here to do.
“Ugly.” I growl pushing deep into my skin.
“Fatty.” I snarled.
“Beard.”
“Bitch.”
“Nothing Special.”
I look down at my legs, and roll up my shorts. Relieving more marks. I begin violently slashing away at my legs till the pain takes over and I can no longer remember the words over the physical state I’m in. I drop the bloody blade in the sink, my body shaking with sobs. I shove my sweater sleeves back over my bloody wrist and over my hands not caring if they stain, and roll up the shorts a bit too. I pull my legs to my chest hugging them, and bury my face in my legs. I just sit there crying. I’m feeling a billion emotions. but one stands out.
I’m alone.
I sit there for a while before releasing my legs, moving so I’m on my knees. I roll my sleeves back up looking at my cuts, realising that I had a cut on one arm that didn’t match the other. I pick up the blade again,
“Eleanor stop it!” I jump hearing a familiar voice yell. I look up at the figure and my heart sinks. Louis. He runs up to me snatching the bloody blade out of my hand.
“What the heck are you doing?!?” he scolds looking at me. I look at him shaking unable to respond, instead breaking down crying again. His blue orbs immediately soften his wraps his strong arms around me and my head falls to his chest. He doesn’t bother saying anything, but stands there holding me, gently stroking my hair till I stopped crying.
“Let’s get you cleaned up then alrightly love?” I don’t say anything but nod. He grabs a rag by the sink and wets it then sets it on my cuts. It stings so I try to flinch back but he holds my arms in place. He cleans up my other arm, before gently reaching down and carefully rolling my shorts up to see my cuts up my thighs. I look up at him feeling ashamed and see nothing but hurt in his eyes.
“Louis you don’t have to-” I say reaching to cover up my legs but he grabs my hand, holding it in his.
“Yes I do.” he says kissing my forehead and picking up the rag again. Once I was cleaned up he hugged me again. I sniff and put my hiding my face in his neck. I feel one of his arm snake under my legs, lifting me up bridal style and carrying me over our bed. He sets me down gently then lays down next to me holding me tightly.
“Louis I-” I stutter trying to push my head up so my tears don’t ruin shirt.
“Shh baby you don’t have to say anything right now.” He says rubbing his thumb against the bottom of my back, I nod and set my head back down against his chest. I fall asleep in his arms to the sound of his heartbeat.

Notes

okay so this isn't a very long chapter but it is VERY important! I recommend listening to Pretty hurts, by Beyonce while reading this story because I listened to it while writing this and felt it fits in very well. Anyway please vote and be sure to leave a comment letting me know what you think!!