Rebellious Love
The Secret Life of the British Teenager
"Girlfriend?..." I ask Harry, confused. Harry walks over to the kitchen looking bored. I follow him as he opens the fridge. How could Selena even know Harry? Then I remember something she said earlier that night,
"Never heard of it. I actually used to live in Holmes Chapel a few years ago
but other than that I've never been anywhere but New York."
So that explains a bit I guess. I glance over at Selena who is now gazing out at the city skyline with a dazed look in her eyes. I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or not though, she's kind of hard to read.
"Yeah, Selena and I went to highschool together. Then we fuc-" I stopped Harry before he can say what I think he's about to say. Please please please tell me it's not what I think.
"Oh god Harry. Please don't tell me you've fu-slept with Selena." I groan out and bury my head in my hands. Is there not a girl Harry hasn't fucked? Harry has always been the face of our band. The public loves him, the girls love him, it's just the way it is. I, on the other hand, was apparently too "quiet", not "loveable enough". I guess that's just the way I am. However, to be honest, I dont want to be the face. Harry has so much pressure on him it's mad. Almost every step he takes is watched. I know why he acts the way he does, he just wants to lift off some of that pressure and judgement. I love Harry, I do, I just think that maybe fucking girls left and right and drinking isn't the best way to cope.
"I... Didn't... sleep with Selena...?" Harry answers slowly. He's obviously just saying that for my sake. I sigh. Well thats wonderful.
"Look man, it was before I even auditioned for the x-factor and I'll have you know, I took her out on a proper date before we did it so don't be so judgey. We actually dated until we became famous, I just never told you guys."
Oh that's even better (sarcasm intended). They were a fucking item, how beautiful. Something hits me. High school...?
"Wait. When exactly did you meet Selena?" I ask suddenly and look Harry in the eyes. He furrows his eyebrows.
"Freshman year. When I was 15.... Why?"
"You lost your virginity when you were 15 right...?" I ask before I can even think about it; I really don't want to know the answer, but I have to know. I hear Harry sigh and he grabs a fistful of his curls. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him; it's a pretty personal question and Harrys never really opened up to anyone about things that serious. He's only told me one thing about his first time and that was that he was 15. I feel bad for asking now. He's grabbing his hair and tugging. I can tell he's stressed when he does that.
"Zayn, man, it's not like I even knew you back then, much less knew you were going to like her." I never said I liked her to Harry. I do, I really do, but I never told Harry anything. I wrinkle my forehead in confusion. Harry grins.
"Yes, I can tell you like her." Harry shakes his head at me and grabs a jar of peanut butter. My peanut butter, i realise and glare at him. Harry sticks his fingers in it and pulls them out. He licks them off one by one then sticks them back in the jar.
"You're buying me new peanut butter." I growl. Hes changing the subject, I know. He smiles like a child. I'm reminded again of his young age. Harry and I are pretty good friends, but lately he's been so withdrawn and lifeless. I feel like it's my duty to stand him back up and throw some life back into that curly head of his. So the fact that he's being cheeky with me again makes me smile.
Then I remember Selena on the couch. She's curled up into a ball sleeping. She shivers and I put a blanket on top of her. Harry follows me into the living room and stares at the sleeping girl.
"I just..." Harry sighs, "She's my first time and I'm hers, I just think that we'll always have this kind of connection you know? I never want to see her get hurt." Harry looks at me sternly at the last part. I would never want to hurt Selena either. I know I've only met her 8 or so hours ago, but she just makes me feel so... I don't know. I can't say it's love because that's stupid. She makes me feel.... Alive.
"Never heard of it. I actually used to live in Holmes Chapel a few years ago
but other than that I've never been anywhere but New York."
So that explains a bit I guess. I glance over at Selena who is now gazing out at the city skyline with a dazed look in her eyes. I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or not though, she's kind of hard to read.
"Yeah, Selena and I went to highschool together. Then we fuc-" I stopped Harry before he can say what I think he's about to say. Please please please tell me it's not what I think.
"Oh god Harry. Please don't tell me you've fu-slept with Selena." I groan out and bury my head in my hands. Is there not a girl Harry hasn't fucked? Harry has always been the face of our band. The public loves him, the girls love him, it's just the way it is. I, on the other hand, was apparently too "quiet", not "loveable enough". I guess that's just the way I am. However, to be honest, I dont want to be the face. Harry has so much pressure on him it's mad. Almost every step he takes is watched. I know why he acts the way he does, he just wants to lift off some of that pressure and judgement. I love Harry, I do, I just think that maybe fucking girls left and right and drinking isn't the best way to cope.
"I... Didn't... sleep with Selena...?" Harry answers slowly. He's obviously just saying that for my sake. I sigh. Well thats wonderful.
"Look man, it was before I even auditioned for the x-factor and I'll have you know, I took her out on a proper date before we did it so don't be so judgey. We actually dated until we became famous, I just never told you guys."
Oh that's even better (sarcasm intended). They were a fucking item, how beautiful. Something hits me. High school...?
"Wait. When exactly did you meet Selena?" I ask suddenly and look Harry in the eyes. He furrows his eyebrows.
"Freshman year. When I was 15.... Why?"
"You lost your virginity when you were 15 right...?" I ask before I can even think about it; I really don't want to know the answer, but I have to know. I hear Harry sigh and he grabs a fistful of his curls. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him; it's a pretty personal question and Harrys never really opened up to anyone about things that serious. He's only told me one thing about his first time and that was that he was 15. I feel bad for asking now. He's grabbing his hair and tugging. I can tell he's stressed when he does that.
"Zayn, man, it's not like I even knew you back then, much less knew you were going to like her." I never said I liked her to Harry. I do, I really do, but I never told Harry anything. I wrinkle my forehead in confusion. Harry grins.
"Yes, I can tell you like her." Harry shakes his head at me and grabs a jar of peanut butter. My peanut butter, i realise and glare at him. Harry sticks his fingers in it and pulls them out. He licks them off one by one then sticks them back in the jar.
"You're buying me new peanut butter." I growl. Hes changing the subject, I know. He smiles like a child. I'm reminded again of his young age. Harry and I are pretty good friends, but lately he's been so withdrawn and lifeless. I feel like it's my duty to stand him back up and throw some life back into that curly head of his. So the fact that he's being cheeky with me again makes me smile.
Then I remember Selena on the couch. She's curled up into a ball sleeping. She shivers and I put a blanket on top of her. Harry follows me into the living room and stares at the sleeping girl.
"I just..." Harry sighs, "She's my first time and I'm hers, I just think that we'll always have this kind of connection you know? I never want to see her get hurt." Harry looks at me sternly at the last part. I would never want to hurt Selena either. I know I've only met her 8 or so hours ago, but she just makes me feel so... I don't know. I can't say it's love because that's stupid. She makes me feel.... Alive.
9/7/13