Catching Red Eyes

It was quiet inside the big SUV as I twirled my ring on my finger. Was this a new nervous habit I was developing? I quickly stopped and opened my phone back up.

*Thank you for Marsh, I probably would have been trampled. I miss you so much already it hurts :(*

As I hit the send button, I rested my head on the back of the seat. The familiar streets were comforting but it was also a reminder that Harry was nowhere near me. I loved being in love but at the same time it felt sort of impossible. How did relationships survive long distances? I knew I was lucky to have Harry but at the same time was this actually going to work? My overanalyzing mind was irritating me and I was tired.

I distracted myself with my phone and called Laurie.

“Hey sweetie, on your way?”

“Yea, I’ll be home in about twenty minutes. Harry set me up with security so I didn’t need to get a cab.”

“Well shit, lucky you!! I’ll see you soon!”

I put my phone back in my bag and watched New York City pass by until I felt the car stop and I saw the entrance to my apartment. Marsh quickly grabbed my bags, helped me out, and led me to my front door which I unlocked with him over my shoulder.

“Here is my contact information. I have your work schedule emailed to me so I will be here to take you to and from work. Mr. Styles informed me that any other time you leave to please call and I will escort you. Any time of the day or night. We will be in touch, Ms. Emerson.”
With a quick turn, he was gone and I was greeted by Laurie.

“Rowan!!”

I was crushed under her hug and had to take a step back as to not fall over. “Hey, Laur. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, dude. Come, come. I want details.” I followed her to our living room and sat down. I hesitantly gave her my left hand. Her eyes grew wide as she took in the ring.

“Shut. Up,” she said grabbing my hand and pulling it closer to her face.

“It’s just a promise ring.”

“Holy shit, Row. It’s gorgeous. Wait, why don’t you sound enthused about all this? There is something off here.”

I looked down at the ring and sniffed back tears.

“Row, what? Tell me.”

“I-I am so so happy but…I just don’t see how all this is going to work…”

“What do you mean? He made a promise to basically marry you one day and who wouldn’t want that from someone like him? Well, he isn’t my type but you know what I mean.”
I shut my eyes and dropped my head. “I know…it’s just how can all this work…my life is here and his is…out there. I mean eventually he will want to live back in Europe and how can I make a promise like that? And who knows when I will be able to see him next. He’s touring over there now and then staying for the holidays before he comes back over here. That is isn’t a relationship…”

“Wait, wait back up. It’s only like halfway through May? What holiday? I am so confused.”

“They are touring the United Kingdom and Ireland for most of the summer then they all have breaks and they call them holidays. He is staying over there to see his family then coming back here. I don’t know all the details yet, I just know it’s going to be a couple months before I actually see him.”

“I get it now, ok. Well, Row this is the life of any normal musician, yours just happens to be super famous and from another country. I think you need to just relax and not think so much ahead. The guy is obviously head over heels for you and isn’t leaving you. Just take a deep breath and relax, ok?”

I did as she said and took a deep breath. I felt a bit better but I still felt this deep ache in my chest.

“Has your mom called you and asked about the ring? I am assuming it is all over the internet.”

The thought smacked me in the face. Why hadn’t my mom called the second the story broke? I worriedly grabbed my phone. It was so late but I needed to talk to her. It had been a couple days since the story had been out as I hit the send button. I heard her familiar voice pick up on the second ring.

“I was wondering when my daughter was going to call me and tell me she was engaged.”

“Mom, it’s not like that. It’s just a promise ring, I swear.”

The other end was quiet. I held my breath. How could I have not called when I knew what was flying around the internet. I felt terrible.

“Mom…I am so sorry I didn’t call and explain. I didn’t mean to overlook it. I feel so stupid.”

“Honey, listen, I think you should take a trip down this weekend. I think it would be good and we should talk. Your father will be home too. We are very happy for you but we just have some things to talk about.”

My heart sunk. I hated making big decisions without telling my parents first. I didn’t need their approval whether to say yes to Harry but I should have been the one to tell them first. I felt even more stupid for letting them find out from the internet.

“Ok, mom. I’ll come down right after my internship on Friday.”

“Ok, honey. We will see you then. Love you.”

“Love you.”

I ended the call and looked over at Laurie. “They’re pissed.”

“Wait, why?”

“Because they had to find out from the internet. I’m going down this weekend because they want to talk to me.”

“Shit. Well, you can’t take back the yes to Harry now.”

“I don’t think it has to do with all that. Maybe it has to do with the actual promise…like they are worried I am making the decision too fast.”

“I don’t know but honestly your parents are cool and they like Harry. You’re probably right though, they are just worried. You are their only kid.”

I nodded and laid my head down on the arm of the couch. I felt exhausted and wanted to close my eyes.

“I’m meeting a friend for drinks. Call me if you need anything ok?” Laurie said, while getting up and grabbing her things. I thanked Laurie and shut my eyes as I heard the door close.

Buzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzz.

I jumped awake to something moving under me. I was so disorientated I almost fell off the couch. It was Harry calling. It was still dark in the apartment as I scrambled to answer.

“Harry.”

“Good morning, love.”

“Morning? Its 4am,” I said, pulling the phone back to see the time.

“Love, London is five hours ahead of you. I am sorry to be calling so late there but I only have a few minutes to talk today. We have a ton of press and photo shoots today but I wanted to hear your voice.”

I would have felt the effects of the words more if I wasn’t half asleep. “Oh, that’s sweet, thank you. I’m sorry, I was sleeping.”

“I know, love. How is home?”

“It’s good…but you aren’t here so it’s not great.” But I was a lovesick mess in the early mornings apparently.

“I wish I was there, love. Soon enough.”

“Ok. I’ll hold you to it.”

“Good. I have to go but I will call you again as soon as I can. I love you.”

“Me too. Forever.”

He hung the phone and I pulled myself up. I needed to get more rest in an actual bed. I had to be at M&G Productions in five hours. I shuffled into my bedroom and fell headfirst into my pile of bed.

Notes