Catching Red Eyes

It felt like time had slowed down when Harry clung onto me. His arms were completely enclosing my face and my shoulders while his face was buried in my chest. My arms were tightly wrapped around his back and I interlocked my fingers to hold him as close as I could.

“I am so sorry, Harry. I should have been here sooner,” I said, trying to keep my voice strong for him. My emotions were running on high with letting go of all the anger I had. It was replaced with sympathy and longing to do and be whatever Harry needed. He didn’t respond but he didn’t have to right now. We stood clinging to the other for another few minutes before he pulled back. His eyes were cloudy and I reached up to wipe the tears. I had never seen him cry.

As I was wiping the tears, Harry took my hand and kissed my palm. He left it linger there as he held it to his cheek. He molded his face into my hand and took a deep breath. I blinked away tears as Harry let go of my hand. We didn’t speak as he took my hand and lead me down a long hallway. There were five bedroom doors lining the hallway and Harry led me to the last door. Entering the room, I was greeted by the beautiful Pittsburg skyline. There was a huge bed with white covers and white pillows. The windows had thin curtains with a desk in front of them. On the desk was a few of Harry’s things along with an open suitcase on the floor next to it. It was a beautiful room but I paid no attention when Harry pulled me onto the bed.

I quickly took off my shirt and jeans and tossed them on the floor next to my bag. I wasn’t expecting Harry to want to do anything but I also wasn’t obliged. I laid down next to him and our bodies molded into each other. I intertwined my legs around his and he laid his head on my chest. I twisted his hair between my fingers as he put one arm under me and the other across me. His breathing was slow as I stared at the ceiling. I knew he wasn’t asleep yet either.

“Thank you.”

His voice came out as a raspy whisper, still filled with sleep. I responded by kissing his mess of curls and wrapping my arms tighter around him. I felt him shift his arms under me to pull me closer. I felt the pull of sleep falling over me. My adrenaline was running since the minute I left Pryce and was completely drained now. I made a mental note to call Pryce tomorrow to explain.

The next morning I woke up with Harry still wrapped completely around me. I shifted under his weight and wanted to move as quietly as possible because my bladder felt like it was going to explode. Thankfully Harry didn’t wake up as I made my way to the bathroom. I pulled on one of Harry’s black t-shirts as I opened the door. The suite was quiet as I listened for any sign of life. I tiptoed to the massive bathroom. I was pretty sure I would never get used to seeing the celebrity life.

After the bathroom, I smelled coffee and walked into the kitchen. There was coffee made but I didn’t see anyone. I peeked into the living room and it was picture perfect. Either One Direction was very neat or someone had cleaned up. I laughed picturing them all in maid uniforms and cleaning their suites.

“What’s so funny, love?”

I jumped and a little of my coffee splashed onto my feet. “Harry, you are forever trying to give me a heart attack, I swear.”

He chuckled as he came up to me and kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. “Good morning to you too and you, my love, are forever taking my clothes,” he said, playfully tugging at his t-shirt draped over my body.

I laughed and put my arms around him too.

“So, you aren’t mad at me anymore?”

“Harry, I was never mad…I was just really hurt but I understand now why you were acting the way you were. I had no idea he had left the tour then quit. I can’t imagine how pissed your publicists were that those stupid pictures got out, along with everything else. You guys had a tough couple weeks and I am sorry I acted like that during it all.”

I did feel this massive amount of guilt weighing down on me. I knew I was always really hard
on myself and this was no excuse. Harry looked up at me with his wide green eyes.

“Love, when he quit we knew he wasn’t happy. His decision to leave was his own and his only. Now, you choosing to take your space was probably the best thing for me and the lads because we needed to focus on getting on with only four of us. Sure, the photos being released probably was the icing on top of the cake for our publicists, but things happen and you can’t blame yourself for that. When you left that day, I was not myself. We were hearing things that he wanted to leave but everything was kept quiet. I couldn’t deal with the pictures, the press, and him leaving all at the same time so I am sorry for the way it came out.”
I felt the lump in my throat and the sting in my eyes remembering the day I left the hotel. I also felt exhausted again realizing I had just gotten off another plane in the last 24 hours.

“Ok. Let’s just move on from this and try to get better at talking to one another. I could crawl back into bed and go back to sleep, honestly.” I chuckled looking down at my almost empty coffee cup and my sheer exhaustion.

“Hmmmm…we could arrange that.”

Harry took the coffee cup from my hand and placed it on the counter and with one quick swoop, I was being carried back to the hotel bedroom. I laughed, feeling like a child being carried by a parent even though the look in Harry’s eyes was not innocent at all. Entering the bedroom in Harry’s arms, I felt safe and happy. We both sort of gently fell onto the white, soft messy bed and I was still cradled in his arms. My head was tucked under his chin and I took a deep breathe. His smell was so heavenly, I wish I could bottle it up.

“Do you realize how amazing you smell?”

I must have thrown him off because he sat up to look at me. “What?”

“Your smell. I love it.” I looked up at him and waited for him to say something. I instantly felt embarrassed but it went away when his face broke into a beautiful smile.

“Well, you smell just as good. That night you left the hotel in Boston, I admit I slept with my face smashed into your pillow. It smelled exactly like you.”

“I did the same with your t-shirt when I got home from Boston…I guess when you were packing my things, your shirt got caught in there. I wore that before I touched any of the new clothes…”

Harry responded by bringing me back to his chest. “I know, love. I put it in there on purpose. I wasn’t sure if you wanted anything to do with me again so I wanted you to at least have that…and your sunglasses and ring.”

My stomach sank remembering the broken $3500 sunglasses. I didn’t want to tell him quite yet so I just buried my face into his chest. I felt sleep coming over me again but before I was fully asleep, I felt Harry move and get up. I let out a whimper questioning the shift. “I have something for you…I got it a while ago but we got a bit carried away back in Red Bank.”

My mind searched back to the being at home with Harry and I remembered him getting out of his car with something in his hand but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Harry got up and went to look in one of his big suitcases. After rummaging through his things, he pulled out a small blue box. It was familiarly shaped and my heart leaped from my chest. Was he reall going to ask me…

Notes