Catching Red Eyes

Harry’s hand was still in mine as we rounded a corner into a big open room with several couches and a huge TV. There were tables filled with food, water, and towels. There were soccer nets and soccer balls all over the place. There were cabinets labeled with the five band members’ names and racks upon racks of clothing were waiting for them. Music was quietly playing in the background but the thing that made my cheeks impossibly red were the amount of people in this room.

People with walkie talkies and ear buds, hair and clothing stylists, and other people with VIP lanyards around their necks talking or eating. Tucked in between two members of One Direction was my roommate yelling something at the TV. She was playing some video game and completely immersed. Thank God no one really noticed us walking in but a few who waved and went back to their tasks. I was suddenly so aware of the fact I was just in a closet with Harry alone with no pants on.

I ran my fingers quickly through my and straightened my clothes.

“Relax, love,” Harry said into my ear before pulling me to the couch. “Lads, I want you to meet someone.”

Instantly, the remaining four members of One Direction got up and were all talking at once about how it was so nice to finally meet me and to put a face to a name and embracing me in a group hug. I was instantly overwhelmed by the sudden interest in knowing me. I couldn’t even form words so I just nodded and smiled and thanked them all for having me here. Laurie watched and started laughing before pulling me away from the group.

“You look like you just got the shit fucked out of you! Good for you!” she said, fixing my hair and grabbing my shoulders.

“Laurie, stop, ssh,” I said, trying not to bring more attention to me.

“Oh, please, like everyone here didn’t already know! We all agreed it’s good to get that out of your system before doing something like performing in a front of thousands of screaming fans.”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you!” I said starting to smile and laugh.

“Loosen up, Row. It’s a normal thing to do. Don’t be embarrassed. Honestly, no one cares. I mean those fans might but they’ll never know.” I looked over to where she was nodding to and I saw a group of exciting, giddy, girls being brought over the where the five boys were standing. “They are some radio station winners Niall was telling me. They get to hang out with them for a bit before they go down to meet and greets then show time. It’s pretty cool actually. They were all explaining to me how it works.”

I stopped listening to her talk when I realized I wasn’t sure when I was going to be able to talk to Harry again in private. I couldn’t bear him going away on tour. I wasn’t sure how long he would be away for and I still needed to talk to him. I pushed it from my mind. I didn’t want to ruin my time with him right now. I looked over at him over Laurie’s shoulder posing for a photo with one of the fans. He was smiling his beautiful smile white chatting with them.
I knew I was staring at him but I didn’t care. Harry’s soul was pure and warm and anyone could tell that just from watching him interact with these fans. His whole body was engaged as he talked to each of them. He would comfort and hug them when they were clearly overwhelmed with meeting them. It was as if the world was muted as I watched him. Every few seconds he would steal a glance at me and I couldn’t help but smile.

After meeting the fans, they were ushered to go to their meet and greet which was set up somewhere else.

“Love, do you want to come with us?” Harry asked after the fans had left. I nodded and he smiled as he interlaced his fingers in mine. Laurie decided to stay in the room and finish her game and said she would wander down if she got bored.

There I was walking hand in hand with him, following the rest of the members of One Direction to their meet and greet. They were all laughing and joking with one another. On all sides of us were at least five body guards and a few behind and in front of us. I heard the screams of the fans before I saw them. I couldn’t see where the line ended because there were big black screens blocking their view where they were to stand in front of a huge One Direction drop back. There was a photographer set up as the boys took their places waiting for their fans to walk in.

“This might be a bit boring for you so if you want to go find Laurie, just ask one of the guards to take you back, ok?” I nodded as he kissed me on the cheek and ran over to stand with the other four. I stood with my arms crossed and watched as each fan hugged, cried, and posed with them. I laughed when they would react to their fans’ reactions and laugh when they would pose in funny positions with them. Just as he did earlier, Harry would steal a second to look at me to smile or stick his tongue out at me. I would do the same and laugh.

Just as the last few fans were meeting the group, I went to look for a bathroom when I heard someone yell my name.

“Rowan Emerson, that is so you! Molly, she totally lied, she is with Harry!”

A blonde girl I had seen once before was making her way over to me but not before two guards pulled her back and told her not to move any closer to me or to the boys. My eyes went wide as I saw Molly. I hadn’t seen her since that night I woke up screaming in the library and basically dismissed her when she asked if I was dating Harry.

Harry broke away from where he was standing to walk over to me with a concerned look. Other guards were appearing out of nowhere as Harry reached me.

“Love, you know her?”

“I-I, well yea, the one was in my class a few semesters ago and she asked me if you and I were together. I told her no and I guess she told her friends.” Before Harry could say anything else, the blonde girl was yelling again from behind the guards.

“Seriously Harry! You can do so much better then Rowan freakin Emerson! The girl is a joke! Everyone knows she is just some stuck up bitch from Jersey who works on the paper that no one cares about. She literally has no friends except her weird roommate and everyone knew she’s a damn prude-“

Before the girl could say anything else, everyone was yelling over her and she was pulled out of the meet and greet room. In the midst of everything, Laurie appeared and looked like she was going to rip the girl’s head off.

“Who the fuck are you, bitch?? Seriously, I will find your skinny blonde ass and beat the shit out of you later!! Get the fuck out of here!” Laurie screamed in the girl’s direction. I grabbed her to pull her back from running after her.

“Laurie, stop, please,” I said to her.

“Fuck that bitch, Row. Don’t listen to her. I promise I will find her and cut all her damn hair off. Are you ok because I need to go calm down,” she asked, holding onto my arms. I nodded and told her to go and call to find me later.

The meet and greet was thankfully over and we were whisked back down a hallway but not before Harry pulled me over to a private area, away from everyone. He told the guard we were fine and he brought his hands to my face. I didn’t realize I had tears running down my face. Harry leaned into me and kissed where they were falling. I tried to turn my face but he wouldn’t let me.

“Harry, please, stop…I don’t want you to see me cry…”

“Rowan, you are most beautiful when you smile but that doesn’t mean these tears don’t make you breathtaking.”

I looked up at him and more tears fell. The blonde girl said all the things I was most afraid that Harry would have to hear one day. I didn’t think the day was today.

“Harry, I have to tell you some things about me before you say anything else. I knew what people around campus thought of me but I never paid attention because it was stupid. People judged me because of who my family is and who my father is…that blonde girl is the president of this stupid sorority and she begged me to rush but I said no. She wanted me to join because she thought she would get more funds.”

I felt the tears come back, remembering how miserable those girls made my freshman year before I found the paper and a few true, close friends. I hadn’t thought about that in a very long time. The sorority backed off finally when they found a new, richer recruit. Harry listened intently as I explained about how Molly has asked me about him and me and how I told her no. I left out the part of my nightmare.

“I’m sorry, I ruined your meet and greet,” I said finally breaking away from his grip and turning my back to him as more tears came back.

“Love, you didn’t ruin it. Those girls were the last ones and honestly I am glad I didn’t have to take a photo with her. You don’t need to cry anymore.”

But I did. I was suddenly reminded of my nightmare from that night in the library. All the terrible, awful things that I had to talk to Harry about all came crashing to the surface. The stripper, that blonde girl he was with in the stupid magazine, and now this.

“Love, tell me what you’re thinking, please.”

“Harry, did you sleep with that stripper the night you left…and who was that blonde girl that was in magazine with you…” my voice was shaking and I felt more tears coming.

“Rowan, that blonde was my sister, Gemma. I was pulling her away from the cameras. Those tabloids were all rubbish and their ‘sources’ were fake, ok? They are never right, ever.”

“W-what about that stripper…”

“Love, I was angry that night…but please know that nothing could make me so angry that I do anything to hurt you. That night I went back to my room and wanted to rush back to you but I didn’t think you would ever have me again…that’s why I stayed away from you until I saw you that day outside of Marc and George’s…I assumed you didn’t want anything to do with this life so I left you alone…being away from you was one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I can’t bear to lose you again and no blonde sorority girl will keep me away from you. When I am with you, I know you are with me for who I am and nothing else. I love you, Rowan Emerson. Please know this. Forever.”

I felt my knees go weak as I listened to Harry’s adoring confession for me. I responded to this with kissing him. I tasted the salt from my tears on his lips. I finally broke the kiss and looked up into this shining green eyes.

“I love you too, Harry Styles. Forever.”

Notes