Catching Red Eyes

He was clearly drunk. I was dizzy. The swirl of emotions going on in my head made me sick. I wanted to help him because he was so drunk but at the same time I wanted to kick him out for even bothering to come here.

“Rowan, baby, I’ve missed you.” He tried to lean in to kiss me and I was hit with a smell of cheap perfume, alcohol, and cigarettes. I pushed him away.

“W-what’s wrong, love? Don’t you want to kiss me?”

His green eyes were shining and red rimmed. He had a stupid grin on his face like he had done nothing wrong mixed with severe intoxication.

“Where were you?” I figured I would start with something easy.

“I was out with the lads. We sold out our first American shows in 45 seconds! 45 seconds!

It’s a record! The boys brought us out to celebrate, I wish you were there. It was great.”

“Could this place of celebration be at a strip club, maybe?”

He looked at me and smiled a wide grin and his eyes were slits.

“Baby, its normal. Those girls get paid a lot of money to do what they do.”

What.

“Excuse me…you know what you’re drunk so I am not going to do this right now.”

The air in the room shifted. It got very hot and Harry’s entire mood changed.

“Not going to do what. What can’t you do?” His smile was gone and his cheeks were flushed.

“Well, on with it, Rowan. What did I do now? First I tried to protect you by not telling you the actual truth about the contract and you went insane, then you ran out on my mum making her feel like shit, and now I have massive news and you get mad about a strip club!”

“I-I…”

“What Rowan!!!! Come on with it!”

“I-I didn’t know you felt this way…why didn’t you tell me any of this before now?” I would like to think my voice was strong and calm but it was small and shaky.

“Who cares if I told you before, you were just going to make your own assumptions and get pissy with me and run off like you’ve done already. This is why the contract is set up the way it is, not to keep up appearances but to protect ME not anyone else. I am in contract to only date celebrities because they get the lifestyle of me and I don’t have to deal with this kind of drama but I put my neck on the line to be with you because I wanted to be with you. I could have anyone out there I wanted and I chose you because I thought you could handle being with me! I didn’t fuck that stripper tonight but I could have! I could fuck anyone I wanted but I don’t because I have you, Rowan!!”

I had no words for the monster that was standing in front of me. I felt my cheeks get hot and I exploded.

“You know what, go fuck whoever the hell you want because I didn’t sign up for this! YOU disappeared on me and just expected me to be ok with you doing that! I was kept in the dark for a month, a month! You don’t wanna deal with my poor commoner drama then get the fuck out! Go back and tell your stupid fucking bosses that your old contract is back on because I would rather love anyone BUT you! And don’t think I didn’t try to move on because I did and I was with someone after you and I bet if I called him right now he would come to my side and I would never have to think about you ever…again.”

I was screaming and crying at the same time. It was hard to catch my breath but I stood my ground. I knew he was drunk but it didn’t matter to me right now. Not after he said the things he did to me.

“Good, call him because I am going back to the strip club and going to enjoy the rest of night the way it should have been before I came here.”

“Get the fuck out, Harry.”

Harry spun on his heel and headed for the door. I picked up my glass of water and threw it as hard as I could at his head but it missed and slammed into the wall in front of him.

“You missed, love.”

I let out a frustrated scream as he opened the door and then immediately slammed it behind him. My entire body was shaking with anger and with disgust and shame.
Never in my life had anyone ever spoken to me like that. My body felt like it wasn’t mine anymore. I felt used and broken. Harry had broken me in pieces. People say the heart shatters but your entire body shatters. I collapsed onto the floor and cried.
I finally pulled myself up and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower. I needed to be clean. Clean of Harry.

The water was too hot but I didn’t care. I let the water run until it was cold. I pulled myself from the shower and went into my room. I managed to find clothes and put myself to sleep.
His words kept coming to me like little daggers and I physically hurt from the crying. But the tears never didn’t stop. I eventually fell asleep somehow. I dreamt of nothing.

Notes