You Were The Best Of Me
You Were The Best Of Me
Niall P.O.V.
“I think today was better than yesterday.” I sit down and make myself as comfortable as I’m able to.
Not better, but the stabbing pain in my chest is starting to spread more evenly.
“I finally saw London, I mean really see it. I did the whole touristy thing and everything. I know you would talk about always wanting to do it, but we could never seem to find the time.” A small smile graces my lips. “I’m glad I did it.”
I wished every second that you were beside me..
“I saw Louis today; he was interested to know how you were. I told him that things were getting better and that you wish you had the time to go over and see him. It’s hard to make time for things these days, even the ones you love the most, but he understands.”
Louis never asked me because he can’t bear to talk about you..
I turn my hands over studying the lines that had found a permanent crease across them.
“I brought you a few things that I thought you might like. You still love shortbread right? I got you the really buttery kind not the ‘real’ Scottish shortbread that I remember you said tastes similar to cardboard.” I grab the biscuit tin out of my bag and set it down next to me. “I’m not sure if you’ve seen it yet but the old Friends cast got together again and made a special episode, some sort of reunion I think. I hope you haven’t seen it yet.” I place the DVD beside the tin.
I remember you pestering me about watching Friends re-runs with you, and now I sit up most nights watching it alone..
My smile falters slightly. “Have you seen Liam recently? I talked to him last week, he said he wanted to come and see you but your silence was too much for him. But you shouldn’t worry because I’m sure he’ll be back around soon.” I reach back into my small bag. “But in the meantime he told me to give you this.” I pull out a small frame.
All you are is silent..
I look down at the photo it holds, remembering the exact day that it was taken November 18th 2019. Years ago when we were all normal lads in our twenties, all five of us were in mine and Harry’s apartment. Liam stood on the end, his arm wrapped tightly around Louis waist who was sticking his tongue out at the camera. Zayn was half stumbling into Liam’s other side as he pressed the timer on the camera and then rushed to get in the photo after not setting it correctly. And there I am, sitting on the floor in front of them wide eyed and completely caught off guard as Harry leans down, his large hands cupping my face, and smashing his lips to mine just as the flash went off.
The perfect picture for a perfect life.
I look back up from the photo. “Do you remember this, Harry? I think I can honestly say that that was the best year of my life.”
The last good year of my life
“I’ve decided to move out of the apartment. There’s a nice one bedroom unit for sale closer to the rest of the boys and I think I’m going to buy it. It’s closer to you as well, so I’ll be able to come and visit you more often, wouldn’t that be nice?”
I can’t stand the memories the dents in the wall give me when you used to push me up against them crashing your lips to mine..
“Zayn’s been asking me when I’m going to settle down. He tells me that my good looks won’t last forever and that it’s time. It’s clear that he just doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to tell him that I’m not alone because I have you. I could tell that he was hurting but he didn’t say anything.”
I can’t think about meeting someone else, because he won’t be you..
I push the few things I had brought for Harry closer to him, and notice the shadows getting closer together. “I guess I should probably be heading off, the suns starting to set. I’ll make sure to come see you again tomorrow, there’s so much more that I want to tell you but for now I guess we've run out of time.”
I just want to tell you how much I miss you and that I haven’t forgotten..
I rise to my feet slowly, rub my pants off and grab my bag. I take an unsteady step forward and place my hand on the smooth marble stone, feeling the coolness of it leech into my skin.
“I wish so much that things turned out differently, Harry you have no idea. Please just remember that I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
You have no idea how much I miss you..
I remove my hand from the cold stone, turn my back and start walking away. This time I can't bring myself to read the words written upon it.
In Memory of
Harry Edward Styles
Beloved Brother, Son & Friend
Taken too soon
February 1st 1994 – April 19th 2020
(Aged 26)
I walk past the gates into the park, my head hanging low as slow tears finally start to run down my cheeks.
I thought I heard Harry’s voice carried in the wind as it passes by my ear.
I love you too, Niall.
I’m not sure, but I wish desperately that it was.
“I think today was better than yesterday.” I sit down and make myself as comfortable as I’m able to.
Not better, but the stabbing pain in my chest is starting to spread more evenly.
“I finally saw London, I mean really see it. I did the whole touristy thing and everything. I know you would talk about always wanting to do it, but we could never seem to find the time.” A small smile graces my lips. “I’m glad I did it.”
I wished every second that you were beside me..
“I saw Louis today; he was interested to know how you were. I told him that things were getting better and that you wish you had the time to go over and see him. It’s hard to make time for things these days, even the ones you love the most, but he understands.”
Louis never asked me because he can’t bear to talk about you..
I turn my hands over studying the lines that had found a permanent crease across them.
“I brought you a few things that I thought you might like. You still love shortbread right? I got you the really buttery kind not the ‘real’ Scottish shortbread that I remember you said tastes similar to cardboard.” I grab the biscuit tin out of my bag and set it down next to me. “I’m not sure if you’ve seen it yet but the old Friends cast got together again and made a special episode, some sort of reunion I think. I hope you haven’t seen it yet.” I place the DVD beside the tin.
I remember you pestering me about watching Friends re-runs with you, and now I sit up most nights watching it alone..
My smile falters slightly. “Have you seen Liam recently? I talked to him last week, he said he wanted to come and see you but your silence was too much for him. But you shouldn’t worry because I’m sure he’ll be back around soon.” I reach back into my small bag. “But in the meantime he told me to give you this.” I pull out a small frame.
All you are is silent..
I look down at the photo it holds, remembering the exact day that it was taken November 18th 2019. Years ago when we were all normal lads in our twenties, all five of us were in mine and Harry’s apartment. Liam stood on the end, his arm wrapped tightly around Louis waist who was sticking his tongue out at the camera. Zayn was half stumbling into Liam’s other side as he pressed the timer on the camera and then rushed to get in the photo after not setting it correctly. And there I am, sitting on the floor in front of them wide eyed and completely caught off guard as Harry leans down, his large hands cupping my face, and smashing his lips to mine just as the flash went off.
The perfect picture for a perfect life.
I look back up from the photo. “Do you remember this, Harry? I think I can honestly say that that was the best year of my life.”
The last good year of my life
“I’ve decided to move out of the apartment. There’s a nice one bedroom unit for sale closer to the rest of the boys and I think I’m going to buy it. It’s closer to you as well, so I’ll be able to come and visit you more often, wouldn’t that be nice?”
I can’t stand the memories the dents in the wall give me when you used to push me up against them crashing your lips to mine..
“Zayn’s been asking me when I’m going to settle down. He tells me that my good looks won’t last forever and that it’s time. It’s clear that he just doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to tell him that I’m not alone because I have you. I could tell that he was hurting but he didn’t say anything.”
I can’t think about meeting someone else, because he won’t be you..
I push the few things I had brought for Harry closer to him, and notice the shadows getting closer together. “I guess I should probably be heading off, the suns starting to set. I’ll make sure to come see you again tomorrow, there’s so much more that I want to tell you but for now I guess we've run out of time.”
I just want to tell you how much I miss you and that I haven’t forgotten..
I rise to my feet slowly, rub my pants off and grab my bag. I take an unsteady step forward and place my hand on the smooth marble stone, feeling the coolness of it leech into my skin.
“I wish so much that things turned out differently, Harry you have no idea. Please just remember that I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
You have no idea how much I miss you..
I remove my hand from the cold stone, turn my back and start walking away. This time I can't bring myself to read the words written upon it.
In Memory of
Harry Edward Styles
Beloved Brother, Son & Friend
Taken too soon
February 1st 1994 – April 19th 2020
(Aged 26)
I walk past the gates into the park, my head hanging low as slow tears finally start to run down my cheeks.
I thought I heard Harry’s voice carried in the wind as it passes by my ear.
I love you too, Niall.
I’m not sure, but I wish desperately that it was.
Notes
I'm getting back into One Shots so I hope this was okay
Please comment if you like it
