*Susan’s POV (Wednesday, March 30th)

On Friday last week, me and the girls flew home for spring break. Yesterday, we all got together with Sammie and Luke so that we could finally meet him. He seems like a really sweet guy and it’s obvious that he treats her well. I wasn’t sure about his appearance at first because he has a lip piercing, but on the inside he’s definitely good. I’m really happy for her and I think that Hannah has finally given up on what she referred to all the time as “Loummie.”

Although I’ve been with the girls for 5 days now, I still haven’t told them what has happened to me with AMDA and my future recently. There are two different dance companies who want me to sort of intern there for my last year of school and if they like what they see from me, they want me to join the company after I graduate.

One of the companies is in New York and the other is in London. I have to make a decision soon and I’m really having trouble. If I choose New York I’ll be closer to the girls and my family; if I choose London I’ll be closer to Liam and our relationship will get much easier. It’s a very hard choice to make between my friends/family and my boyfriend.

Whichever company I choose, I’ll be moving to that location. I could decide to move the rest of my stuff to New York and find a place there and forever be far away from my love, or I could decide to uproot my life and move to London just to be with Liam, but I’d be away from the other people I love. This is the most difficult and life-changing decision I’ve ever had to make. I wish that there was some sign telling me which I should choose.

Just then, I hear the Skype tone; it’s Liam. We haven’t seen each other since Valentine’s Day and now today of all days he is getting in touch with me. This has to be the sign. It’ll be tough to tell the girls, but I choose London. I accept the call.

“Liam! I missed you so much. I have great news. Two dance companies wanted me to intern for them next year and one of them is in London. I’m choosing that one so that we can be closer and we won’t have to do long distance anymore!” He’s silent. “Susan, we need to talk.” he says. “Okay, what’s up Li?” I ask concerned.

“This is not easy because I really like you. It’s not so much the distance thing…but I wanna break up.” I am speechless. This is so unexpected. This cannot be happening. This is a joke, right? “What then?” is all I can say. “I can’t pretend anymore. You know how I told you on Christmas that I loved you?...I lied.” My eyes pop open.

“I was just under so much pressure! Louis, Niall, and your friend Mackenzie kept telling me that I needed to say I loved you. They said that we’d been going out for ½ a year and that I should have told you by then. They said if I didn’t tell you soon that I would lose you. So I told you without meaning it. I know I shouldn’t have done it and I’m so sorry for lying to you. I just don’t want to pretend like I have been for months now. I don’t wanna hurt you more, so…let’s just call it quits.”

Utter shock. “You…lied to me? About loving me? For months?!?!” I say. “I know that sounds really bad, but if it’s any consolation I feel terrible about it and wish I never did it!” he says trying to defend himself. “So just because you regret doing it I should forgive you, just like that?” I ask incredulous. “No! You don’t have to, I mean I know what I did was really wrong and I’ll never forgive myselffor it so I don’t expect you to.” Totally gonna cry at this point.

“I may forgive you one day for this, but not today, tomorrow, or for a long time after that. You don’t just tell someone you love them without meaning it and deceive them for months. I sincerely hope that you never do this again. Don’t ever do this to any other girl. Do me a favor and next time you get in a relationship, make sure you don’t tell the girl that you love her until you genuinely mean it. Because no girl deserves that.” He doesn’t say anything. Guess that shut him up.

“Anyways, thanks for the relationship that we did have. Even though for the ending months you were a big fat liar. Until further notice, I am not speaking to you and I am deleting you from my phone and from Skype. If you try to reach out to me in the future, maybe I’ll answer and maybe I won’t. When I do, I will have forgiven you.” Now I’m really fighting off tears.

“But know this: you will never be able to make up for what you did. I will always remember what you did every time I see you. Until whenever, Liam. Have a nice life.” I finish. I let him say goodbye before I log off and delete him from my Skype and phone. After that, I collapse onto my bedroom floor and cry. I cry and don’t stop. It feels like my whole world just fell apart and turned into a lie. All this time, I loved him with all my heart and soul, and he never did.

I cry for what must be a couple hours. My eyes are red and puffy and my nose is all stuffed up. I definitely need to stop crying so I can start looking normal again before my parents see me. They have no idea that I even met anyone in Paris, let alone got a boyfriend. I knew they wouldn’t approve of me dating someone I just met so I never told them, and now I never have to. One thing’s for sure. I definitely need to see the girls now.

I send a group text telling all of them to come over because I have some news. I don’t tell them good or bad because technically I have both. The bad: Liam broke up with me and confessed he never loved me. The good: two different dance companies want me to visit and possibly join after college and thanks to Liam I’ve decided which one to choose. Forget London, I’m staying in America, in New York where the people who truly love me are.

Notes

You guys...this chapter was beyond difficult to write. Not because I didn't wanna break them up; their relationship wasn't that stable anyways. But because their break up is based off my own. Thanks for reading it and now you kind of know how mine went almost a year ago. Please comment if you're happy or sad to see Susan and Liam break up and if you have any general feedback. Until tomorrow, take care lovelies. <3