*Susan’s POV (Very Early Morning, Tuesday May 5th)

It’s 3am and I’m still awake. I can’t get to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about what all has happened in the last few days. Hannah is going to London later this month, Emily is starting her work in NYC around the same time, and now Kenz might be staying here with a record deal instead of going home. I’m really happy for the three of them and how these opportunities are gonna help them with their career paths. The thing is, I’m very concerned about Sammie. The last thing she needs is to be alone for three months.

‘But she won’t be alone, she’ll have you.’ That’s what the girls keep telling me. What they don’t know is that she may not have me for the summer. The AMDA-LA ballet troupe has been invited to participate in a summer long ballet course at the dance conservatory Paris Ballet & Dance…that’s right. Paris, France. Our troupe hasn’t accepted the invitation yet, so we’re not going for sure. But if we do, Sammie is going to be all by herself in Chicago for possibly the whole summer.

This trip to Paris sounds really exciting and right when I found out…a few weeks ago…I wanted to tell the girls so bad but decided to wait till it was definite. Even then, I didn’t want to disappoint them leaving the four of them behind. And now that I would be the fourth one of us being away from home, I really don’t want to tell them. I’m afraid that they’ll say “How could you abandon Sammie?” and “What kind of a best friend are you?” At the same time, I know I need to tell them before it gets even sooner. This is such a dilemma and I just don’t know what to do.

Kenz is across the room in her bed snoring away, probably dreaming about getting a record deal, becoming a big star, and dating Niall…while I lay awake all night staring at the ceiling confused and feeling guilty even though I’m not even going to Paris for certain. I know what I should do. I should tell the girls tomorrow about Paris even though it isn’t confirmed, to at least prepare them (mostly Sammie) for me being gone this summer as well. I just hope I don’t chicken out.

Tuesday Night…

I’ve been putting it off all day. My ballet coach told our troupe today at rehearsal that Paris is confirmed. I only have a few hours left to drop the bomb. I just have to wait for Kenz to get back from her “study date” with Niall. She said he played her song for his dad and he wanted to talk to her about the feedback in person. I hope it’s good news. Just then, she comes running through the door throwing her stuff onto her bed.

“Susan! Susan! Susan!” she shouts tugging my arm from my raised bed. I chuckle saying “If you don’t stop tugging, I’m gonna fall off the bed.” I climb off and ask “Now what happened with Niall?” “His dad listened to my song and thought me and Emily are really talented and he wants to meet with me on Monday to officially get me signed on to the label!!!” Kenz screams in my ear. “Oh my gosh, Kenz! You’re gonna be a pop star!!” I shout and we both jump up and down.
“I gotta video chat the girls right now and tell them the news!” she says rushing to get out her laptop. Oh no…not only will the girls find out about Kenz getting a record deal, but while we’re already dishing I should tell them about Paris and get it over with. She signs onto Google Hangout and calls the girls to tell them to get online. Within minutes, my friends’ gorgeous faces are in front of me.

“Okay, girls I have some exciting news…and some sad news.” Kenz says. Sad news? I only know of good news. “The exciting news is that I talked to Niall today and he said that his dad loved the song and thinks me and Emily are really talented. He wants me to meet with him next week to get me signed…I’m gonna have a record deal!!!” All the girls scream and Em asks “He really thinks I’m talented?!” which gets a chuckle out of everyone.

“Wait, what’s the sad news?” Han asks. Kenz’s face falls and she begins. “Since I’m gonna have a record deal, I have to be living near the studio. This means that I won’t just be living in LA during the school year and for this summer. …I have to move here.” I can’t believe what I just heard. “And depending on how much I like it here and how quickly my career takes off, I may not go back to college…and I may live here permanently.”

Okay, it’s official. I’m dead, and it looks like everyone else is too. Sammie asks, “You’re moving to LA and could be there forever?!” “Well yeah…but think about the—“ she starts to say. “I know! The opportunity! Hannah’s acting, Emily’s music, and your singing career are all getting great opportunities! And you’re all leaving me in Chicago this summer, Mackenzie possibly forever! I consider myself lucky that I still have Susan for summer!”

Shit. I have to tell them now. Sammie will be pissed but it’s not like I can hide me going across the world. “Actually…I have to tell you all something too. I’ve known about the possibility for a few weeks now, but it wasn’t definite until tonight. The AMDA-LA ballet troupe was invited to participate in a summer long ballet course this summer…in Paris. I’ll be spending the summer in France, then coming straight back to LA for school.” Everyone is silent and Sammie looks as though she’s going to cry.

“Sammie,” I say before she logs off. Great, she’s probably sobbing right now in her room because of me. “You know what, I’m gonna go outside and get some fresh air. I’ll talk to you all later.” I say grabbing a jacket and leaving the dorm. I walk out of the building with tears streaming down my face. I’m about a block away from the residence hall when I hear Kenz shouting and running after me. She catches up to me and grabs my arm, sees I’m crying and pulls me into a hug.

“Susan, it’s okay. Don’t worry about Sam. She’s gonna be sad at first, but she’ll get used to us being gone.” I pull away and say “No, Mackenzie! You don’t understand. Sammie cannot be alone. Do you realize that she has no friends at the high school now that we’re graduated? We are her only friends and we’re all leaving her! We are her family, because she has no family left! You know she’s gonna start cutting again, I can’t deal with this!” I shout falling to my knees on the concrete.

I just cry outside in the dark, covering my face with my hands. I guess Kenz doesn’t know what to say to that, because all of a sudden I just feel her wrap her arms around me from behind and rest her chin on my shoulder. I turn around so I can hug her from the front and I cry into her shoulder. I know I should stop but it’s just difficult knowing Sammie is probably having a meltdown right now and I can’t be there to help her.

Finally Kenz speaks up. “Suz, I know that you’re worried. I am too. But all we can do right now is call her tomorrow to check in and make sure she’s okay.” I know she’s right. “Kenz…you and the girls aren’t mad at me, are you? For leaving Sammie alone? You don’t think I’m a bad friend, do you?” I ask sniffling. “No! Of course not! We understand. We’re worried, but these opportunities don’t come along every day. We need to take them….C’mon, let’s get inside and go to bed.”

She helps me off the ground, and we walk back to our dorm in silence. When we get in our dorm, we get ready for bed and say good night before getting into our beds. Kenz turns off the lights leaving me curled up in my blankets in the dark. I try to go to sleep but am unsuccessful for at least a couple hours. I know Kenz is asleep ‘cause I can hear her snoring a few feet away. That just leaves me…alone with my thoughts of what Sammie could be doing right now.

Notes

I should've posted this chapter yesterday, but my internet connection was faulty. My apologies! To make it up to you, I'll post chapter 5 in a few hours. :)