Love Hate

I put the phone to my ear as I started the car.

"Hey can I call you back when I get home because it's not really safe to drive, eat ice cream and talk on the phone" I said chuckling.

"Yeah that's fine" he said. I hung the phone up and drove to my house. When I got there I quickly opened the door and went up to my room.

I sat on my bed with the ice cream in my lap. I took my phone out and called him back.

I barely heard the first ring when he answered.

"Hey" he said through a yawn.

"Are you okay, you sound like you've never slept a day in your life" I said chuckling.

"Yeah I'm fine I just didn't sleep well last night" he said.

"Why not" I asked even though I knew the answer was because of me.

"Because I kept thinking about you, then when I did go to sleep, I would have dreams about you doing it" he told me making my heart break.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Don't apologize it's not your fault" he said.

"Yes it is my fault, you can't sleep because of me, because I did something stupid" I said.

I took a spoonful of ice cream and stuffed it into my mouth.

"Aren't you surprised I left the house" I asked him trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, why did you" he asked.

"Because there was no ice cream left in the house and my mom and Daniel weren't here, so I left to get some" I told him.

"Was it go-"

"Jess was there" I blurted out interrupting him.

"Really" he asked.

"Yeah she works there now" I told him.

"Was it awkward" he asked.

"Yeah, she didn't even look at me" I said sadly.

"Did you see her wrist" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, there wasn't anything there" I told him.

"That's good" he said.

"Yeah but I have this feeling she still did it" I said.

"I think you're just overthinking this" he said.

"I know, I'm just worried" I said.

"Did you see any articles from last night's show" he asked curiously.

"No, what happened" I asked.

"Um… nothing, don't look it up" he said. As he said that I was opening google up on my laptop.

"If you tell me not to do something, it makes me want to do it even more" I said chuckling.

In the search bar I typed in 'Harry Styles'. There was an article that was titled 'Harry Styles cries during concert'.

"You cried during the concert" I asked.

"Y-Yeah" he answered.

"Because of me" I asked sadly.

"Yeah" he said. "But it wasn't just the cutting thing it was because I missed you too" he said.

"But mostly the cutting" I asked.

He didn't answer which told me that it was the cutting that mostly made him cry.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you" I whispered.

"Why because I would cry" he asked.

"I kinda knew you would cry, but I didn't want you to cry more than once and I didn't want it to be the only thing on your mind" I said.

"What, you thought that I would only cry once and I would just forget about it just like that Gabby" he said raising his voice.

"I was hoping" I said just as loud as him.

"If I cut myself would you only cry once, would it be off your mind the next day" he asked.

"Gabby cut herself" I heard Zayn's voice in the background. Fuck.

Zayn's POV

We were backstage getting ready for an interview. We were about to go on but Harry was missing.

"Zayn go find Harry" Paul instructed.

There's three other boys and he chose me to go find him. Wow.

I looked around the whole backstage and couldn't find him. So I looked in the most obvious place he could've been.

His dressing room.

I put my hand on the doorknob but stopped in my tracks when I heard him talking to someone.

"Why because I was going to cry" he asked the person. Ooh maybe I'll find out why he lost it at the show.

I pressed my ear closer to the door to make sure I could hear everything.

"What you thought that I would only cry once and I would just forget about it just like that Gabby" he said loudly. Gabby? What happened? What did she expect him to forget easily?

I waited for him to say something back. Hopefully he specified what they were talking about.

"If I cut myself would you only cry once, would it be off your mind the next day" he asked.

My mouth fell open. She cut herself?

I swung the door opened.

"Gabby cut herself" I asked.

"Um n-no" Harry said.

"Don't fucking lie to me Harry, this is serious" I said through clenched teeth.

He nodded his head.

"She did" I said, my voice becoming quiet. I'm pretty sure it could barely be heard.

He nodded his head again.

My emotions were going crazy. At first I was upset but then I got angry.

My breathing increased. I pulled my fist back and punched the wall, which didn't help me because it was brick.

"Zayn calm down" Harry said grabbing my arm as I was about to punch the wall again.

I turned around and looked at him.

"I want to talk to her" I said gesturing to his phone.

He slowly handed it to me. I grabbed it from him and put it to my ear.

"Gabby" I said.

"Zayn" she said.

"Why'd you do it" I asked her.

"I-I can't tell you" she said.

"Why not" I asked.

"I just can't Zayn" she said apologetically.

"Was it a good reason" I asked her.

"No, not really" she said disappointed.

"Then why'd you do it" I asked.

"I don't know, I was hurt and in pain at the time" she said ashamed.

"Paul said you two need to- holy fuck Zayn what the hell happened to your hand" Niall asked walking into the room inspecting my hand.

"I punched the wall" I said.

"Why the hell would you do that" he asked.

"Because I found out-"

"Zayn don't" Harry said through clenched teeth.

"Zayn please don't tell him he's the one person that can't know about this because he's somewhat part of the reason I did it" Gabby begged.

"Fine" I sighed.

"Why can't I know" Niall pouted.

"Because you can't" Harry said.

"Whatever" he rolled his eyes. "Paul said you two need to hurry up, were on in like two minutes" Niall told us.

"Okay" we said and Niall left.

"We gotta go Gabby" I told her.

"Okay, bye Zayn, can you give the phone to Harry before you hang up" she asked.

"Yeah" I said then handed Harry his phone.

She said something I couldn't make out.

"I love you too" he said then hung up.

We walked out the room and went by everyone else.

"Okay everyone's here" Sam, another security guard asked.

"Yeah" we all said.

"Holy shit Zayn what's wrong with your hand" Louis asked.

"Eww it's all swollen and blue and purple" Liam said.

I looked down down at it. Liam was right.

"What happened" Paul asked loudly.

"Um I don't like being hollered at" I said sassily.

He rolled his eyes.

"What happened" he asked normally.

"I punched a wall" I said like it was nothing.

"Why would you punch a wall" Louis asked.

"He's not telling anyone" Niall said before I could.

"Why no- wait do you know about the thing that made Harry cry last night" Louis asked super interested.

"No" I lied.

"Oh my gosh yes you do, what happened? Is it as bad as he made it seem" Louis questioned.

I just nodded my head.

"Well we need to get you to a doctor" Paul said examining my hand.

"I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt" I said. I was definitely lying this thing hurt like a bitch

"Yeah because it's probably numb, you're going to a doctor Zayn" he told me.

"Fine" I said.

I walked to the vans with two guards and we drove off to the emergency room while the boys did the interview.

Notes

I have a felling this story is going to have like 10,000 chapters because like every three chapters is a whole day :p