Love Hate

It's been two days since I cut myself. I haven't done it anymore.

My mom didn't notice them when she came to check up on me, and I was glad.

I've actually gotten out of my bed and left my room, but I haven't left the house. If I wanted to eat something that wasn't at the house I would either ask my mom or Daniel to get it for me.

I haven't talked to Harry since the day I cut myself. I think I'm going to tell him the next time we Skype, I know it'll hurt him but I don't want to keep secrets from him, especially ones like this.

I've tried calling Jess but to my luck she didn't reply. At this point I was thinking she would never forgive me for whatever I did.

I hope that's not the case.

I wish this argument was all a dream and when I woke up Jess and I were best friends again, and I didn't have these scars on my arm.

I was in the kitchen eating a sandwich when my mom walked in.

"Hi" she said smiling at me

"Hola" I said smiling at her.

"Are you done" she asked nodding towards my now empty plate.

"Yeah" I said.

She began walking over to me trying to retrieve the plate. I picked it up and reached over the island and handed it to her. She reached for it. Her hand grabbed the plate, but she pulled it away when I had let go of the plate.

The sound of the plate shattering on the ground was the only thing heard.

"Mom why'd you let go" I said loudly.

She just stood there with her hands covering her mouth.

"What's wro-" I started but then stopped because I knew why she let go.

I looked down and saw that the scars were fully exposed.

"Mom its not wh-"

"What happened are you two okay" Daniel asked running into the kitchen.

"Why" my mom asked me not paying attention to Daniel. She had tears in her eyes.

I didn't answer her, I just looked down.

"What's going on" Daniel asked oblivious to what was going on.

I didn't answer. My mom didn't answer either because she started crying.

"Mom please don't cry" I begged walking towards her but stopped halfway.

"What's wrong with her" Daniel asked walking over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

I didn't answer him, I just stared at my mom.

"Y-You were w-worried about Jess doing it, b-but then you g-go and do it" my mom said through sobs.

She was right.

"What'd you do" Daniel asked.

I didnt say anything I just lifted my arm. I looked down so I wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"Gabby" he gasped. I could hear in his voice he was trying not to cry. I put my arm to my side but still looked down.

"Why'd you do it" my mom asked again.

"I missed Jess, I know that's a horrible reason but that's the answer" I said while tears flowed down my cheeks.

"When'd you do it" Daniel asked.

"Saturday" I answered.

"I can't believe you did this to yourself" my said crying harder.

I looked up. She had her face buried into Daniel's chest while he rubbed her back. Every few blinks a tear fell from his eyes.

"When were you going to tell us" Daniel asked looking at me.

"I wasn't going to" I answered ashamed.

"Why not" my mom asked.

"Because I didn't want this to happen" I said gesturing to their expressions. "And I didn't want you guys to hate me or be disappointed in me" I said.

"I could never hate you baby" my mom said walking over to me wrapping her arms around me.

"Me either" Daniel said wrapping his arms around both of us.

"I'm sorry" I apologized.

"It's okay. Please just don't do it again" my mom said.

"I won't" I said.

We stood like that for awhile, but then they let go.

"I'll be upstairs, try not to break anymore plates" Daniel said chuckling trying to lighten the mood.

"We'll try our best" I said smiling at him.

He walked out of the kitchen. I could hear him walk up the stairs.

My mom walked over to where the plate had fell and started picking the glass up.

I walked over to her and started to help her.

"I got it" she said taking the glass from my hands.

"Okay" I said sadly. I knew she wasn't letting me pick it up because of what she just found out. I know that because usually she would be telling me to help her pick it up.

I sat back in the seat I was sitting in before.

She threw all the pieces away then walked over to me. She stood across from me.

"So… are you telling Harry" she asked.

"Y-Yeah" I told her.

"Were you always going to tell him or were you not telling him either" she asked me.

"I was always going to tell him" I answered quietly.

"How come you were going to tell him but not us" she asked hurt.

"Because he's my boyfriend, and I don't want to keep secrets from him" I said.

"But I'm your mom" she said. "So you can keep secrets from the person that brought you into this world, but you can't keep them from the person you've been dating for only almost two months" she said.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"When're you telling him" she asked me.

"The next time I Skype him" I told her.

My phone beeped telling me I had a message. I picked it up. It was a message from Harry.

From: Harry❤️
I have about an hour and a half free, wanna Skype?

"Which is now" I said then sent him a quick reply saying yes.

"Good luck" she said giving me a small smile.

I got up and walked upstairs to my room.

I grabbed my laptop and sat on my bed. I opened it then clicked on Skype. I clicked on his contact and pressed the video call button.

Soon he popped onto my screen.

"Hi" I said nervously.

Notes

Do you think she's actually going to tell him or do you think she's going to chicken out?