The Ward

I watched and I gazed as the cars passed in front of me. Whizzing by my face and just missing me by a couple inches. I saw flashes of blue, red, and green, but I thought nothing of it.

I heard honks and shrieks but all I could focus on right now was here, now, and myself. After all, I had an end goal in mind and I intended on fufilling it.

Now was as good a time as any other. There were voices in my head, coaxing me. I could hear them loud and clear. Long ago the voices used to tell me that I was worth it, they told me to keep pushing.

Now, they’re just full of darkness and hatred for me. How was I supposed to escape the voices if they just kept following me everywhere? What would YOU do if you couldn’t escape?

I guess a better question was why did I listen to them in the first place?

What ever the answer was, I didn’t have time for it anymore. I

t was time to die.

“It’s time for you to leave, Ella.” They whisper in my ear. “It’s time for you to go.”

It’s time.

“It’s time.”

I could hear a chorus in my head as my eyes drifted shut. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. First, darkness consumed my world. My eyelids were glued together tightly, and all I could sense were the sounds and smells of the city that were surrounding me. I could smell street venders and hot pretzels.

I could smell shame and the footsteps of a New York City romance that had ended right where I now stood. Second, I took my first step forward.

A smile crept its way across my face as I breathed the icy cold air of the wintertime.I could feel my now hot exhale as it exited my lips. And lastly, I sprinted.

I just kept on running until I knew I would be h—

***

“I know, her smile looks so bent outta shape.”

“It’s a little creepy.”

“Oh! Shh, shhhh! She’s waking up!”

My eyes drifted open slowly, and gradually I became more and more aware of the ambiance around me. It was plain, simple, and to the point. Blank white walls bore down unto my fragile body and I sat in a hospital bed covered by classic, white linens. There was a flat screen television just in front of me and a couple chairs that were occupied by blurry bodies. They soon became clear.

“Ella!” My aunt exclaimed, standing up. She rushed to my bedside, taking my palm in her hand. “How are you feeling, hm?” I could only stare at her in response.

“Oh, Ella, we were so worried. What’s a best friend supposed to do without you?” Denali cried, getting up from the chair next to my aunt.

I tried to open my mouth this time to say my part, but as soon as I made a noise I felt a sharp pain in my throat. It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to this kind of pain, though. I would inflict it on myself all the time.

“You damaged your throat dear, that includes your voicebox.” My aunt stated plainly.

I nodded solemnly.

“I don’t think you realize how badly you hurt yourself.” Denali whispered. I gazed into her melancholy eyes and just nodded.

‘Of course I know.’ I thought to myself ‘That was kind of the point.’

Denali shifted her gaze to the floor, as if reading my thoughts.

There was a moment of silence before my aunt spoke up again. “We brought your favorite. Want some?” She asked, shoving a plastic container of pasta in my face. I stared at the food, unsure if I was ready to nourish my body after I just attempted to destroy it.

I shook my head, deciding against the nourishment.

“Good girl, Ella.” The voices told me.

My aunt simply frowned and placed it on the table next to her. She was unaware of the battle that was taking place in my mind.

Denali was about to say something when a man in a white lab coat walked in.

His presence was discomforting. He wore a small pair of black glasses and had a bit of a scruffy beard on him. He was lean, muscular, and actually quite attractive. But something about him just made me squirm.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Brown.” He announced professionally. “My name is Dr. Levine,” he continued, writing something down on his clipboard and flipping a page over. “I am a psychiatrist, and hopefully, I will be yours.” He finally looked up at me and flashed me a sexy smile. It wasn’t meant to be sexy, it just was. I shivered.

“It looks like you have had very minimal damage considering.” He began again, continuing his writing. I gulped. “Damage to the jugular, shattered femur, three broken ribs and some severe bruising.” He stated bluntly. He placed his clipboard aside and took a seat next to Denali.

She scooted over, obviously feeling intimidated by him as well.

“Let’s get straight to the point.” My aunt stated seriously. Dr. Levine sighed, took off his glasses with one hand, and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Very well then,” He said with a strained smile. “It’ll take weeks for her to heal,” he began, putting his glasses back on and folding his hands, leaning for ward and folding his hands, forearms at his knees. “Meanwhile we are hoping to send her to psychiatric inpatient down at our behavioral health wing.”

I wiped perspiration off of my forehead. He can’t be serious.

‘You had it coming…’ I thought to myself.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. He continued.

“With guardian permission we can make that happen as soon as possible. You are the aunt, correct? Do you have legal custody over this teenager?”

‘I’m not a teenager.’ I thought angrily.

“Yes, yes I do.” My aunt explained as if she just got ‘Bingo’.

“Very well then,” Dr. Levine announced. “We will have her transportation here as soon as we can and I’m going to need you to sign a few papers…” As my aunt made small talk with Dr. Levine and signed some release papers, Denali and I exchanged glances.

Was this really happening to me?

Notes

Hi guys! SO this is my first chapter, I have a good idea for where I'm going with this but I'm gonna need your help... please vote, comment, and subscribe! I'm not sure if I want to continue this or not so please let me know what you think!