Devoted To Sex

' I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special '
-Radio Head 'Creep
* Zoe *
All these emotions that I had no idea that I was holding in just burst from the inside of me. I start to bawl my eyes out into his chest and he wraps his arms around me slowly, rubbing my back. I couldn't help myself but to keep crying. My mum is dead, Harry recognized me, my life had been a fucking train wreck. What the fuck was going to happen to me next? I may as well just drop dead like my step father wishes I would do. It was all to overwhelming for me to take in especially about my mum.
Everything just came out all at once all the tears I was holding back for months. It all just spilled out of me and it felt really good. The hot tears that streamed down my face going through Harry's white shirt, staining it with my eyeliner and eye shadow.
"It's alright Zoey. I'm here for you. Cry. Let it all out. I know it hurts." I hear Harry say to me in a very comforting tone. I nod and son loudly into his chest not being able to control myself. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from crying.
"I-I'm a mess Harry..." I cry to him, grabbing onto the back of his turquoise shirt. "I can't eat." I whispered, gesturing to my bony, skinny figure. I was loosing a lot of weight though you'd think that the weed would help me to eat but no it didn't. "I don't sleep much. I'm a fucking drug addict." I murmur looking up at Harry, seeing his eyes widen. I give him a few minutes to respond to what I had said about the drugs. I could tell that he wasn't too happy about that so I just do what feels right at the moment. I grab ahold of his shirt, pulling him closer to me and I kiss him. I feel his arms grab a hold of my waist only to stay there for a few seconds before pushing me away slightly.
"Zoey wha-" He begins and I shake my head, pressing my finger against his lips. Harry don't ruin the moment.
"Just make it all go away. Please Harry." I whispered, looking up into his eyes, smiling a little when he slowly leans down, pressing his lips against mine again. It felt so right...having his lips against mine. I slowly clamped my eyes shut, his hands slowly drifting down my sides to my waistline. I could feel his mouth part slowly, mine moving in sync with his as he slips his tongue into my mouth, deepening the kiss.
Now I'm not really a tongue kissing kind of girl but Harry was enjoying himself and that's all that mattered. I hear a low sexy throat groan emit from Harry's mouth and I could feel my panties starting to get soaking wet. Harry Styles moan is the most perfect thing that could ever come from someone's lips. It sounded so perfect, so beautiful. Just like him.
As I was thinking I was totally lost in thought until I feel Harry's soft pink lips attach to my lightly tanned skin, causing me to moan very softly. Harry smirks and looks up at me, sucking harder and harder at my skin. Fuck, I absolutely cannot believe that this is actually happening. I've know Harry for so long before the fame, all the cameras all up in his face, before all of these fans came into the picture. This was probably very very wrong to hook up with him only because he's my best friend. I don't want this to put a dent in what we had already.
I slowly remove my hands from around his neck and bring them down to his pants, feeling for the start of his belt. I tug him by his belt over to the bed once the kiss is broken and I sit in the edge of the king sized bed with nice silky sheets.
"Wait. Wait." Harry says breathless from the heated kiss that we shared only seconds ago. "This seems so wrong. I don't want to ruin our friendship. It's the best thing we have together." He whispered and i frown lightly looking up at him my eyes wide and full of disappointment but I nod slowly, letting his belt slip from my hands.
I move my hand up to my hair that was in a pony tail, letting it spill from it's loose hold to flood over my shoulder. I look back up at Harry and lick my lips not really sure of what to say right now. This was awkward and I have never been rejected before. In my head I was crying still. I really wished that he would take back what he just said and fuck me like crazy. I needed him to fuck me like Christian Grey. After a long moment of silence, I nod and stand up slowly, coughing very loudly to signify the complete awkward tension that was building in this room.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. That was my fault." I say quietly and look down at the beautiful colored carpet.
"No, Zoey. I loved that kiss. It was...god, it was so great. I just don't think that this is something you want. This lifestyle." Harry says and frowns deeply, fixing his belt as he clears his throat. I hear his phone start playing the 'Marimba' ring tone and I jet my fingers through my hair. He got me all hot and bothered for nothing. I knit my brows as I scan Harry's facial expression. He was incredibly happy. Why? Who is he on the phone with anyway? I see him beam his perfect smile as he looks down, shaking his head, a light shade of pink coming over his cheeks and his dimples deepening as he smiles bigger and bigger. Who in the world was making him this happy? He hasn't smiled this hard in a little. Only when he was around someone he liked. My eyes shoot up to his emerald eyes as I stare into them while he talks quietly on the phone.
When he gets off the phone he smiles softly at me and I raise a brow as my eyes trail down to the bulge that was in his pants. I know for a fact that wasn't there before he answered his phone. I laugh a little and Harry looks at me tilting his head to the side. Who was he talking to? I burst into a fit of laughter once he realizes what I am laughing about and tires desperately to use his hands to cover his erection.
"Who were you talking to that got you so...aroused?" I ask him a small smile staying on my face, his emerald eyes connecting with my brown ones as he shakes his head. "Oh come on Harry. Your dick is about to pop out of your jeans. Who got you all bothered?" I question, again getting a head shake. I raise a brow and fold my arms, pouting a little bit.

"It was just some girl. We talk from time to time. Don't worry about it." He tells me and I roll my eyes knowing that he was lying to me. Harry must have forgotten just how well I know him. He couldn't lie to me. I decided that I would take this opportunity to get what I wanted. Whoever he was talking to must have said some crazy sexual stuff to him.

"What'd she say? Your'e really hard Harry. Jesus..." I say softly walking closer to him as I gently brush my hand against the bulge in his pants. Harry's jaw clenches slightly and I look up at him trying to hide my smirk. He was so perfect and truthfully I wanted to hear all of what this girl was saying to him to get him so hard. "She say she would touch you like this?" I ask him, palming his erection through his pants making him groan softly in response. I kiss his jawline slowly and watch his eyes close slowly in pleasure. "Did she say she would make you feel good?' I ask and bite at my lip softly. He looked so perfect right now. "I can show you how good I can make yo-" I start to say but am cut short of my teasing words when I feel his lips move against mine in a heated kiss.
Our lips moving in time with each others. Harry raises a hand up to my hair and he slowly tangles his fingers in it, causing me to close my eyes. With his other hand, he gently caresses my face and cups my cheek in his hand big hand. I could feel his cold metal rings against my skin causing me to shiver slightly at his gentle touch. I slowly push him until his body falls against the bed. i smirk down at him and slowly unzip my dress from the side, pushing the dress down and stepping out of it quickly, revealing me matching red lace set. Harry sucks in a sharp breath and prompts himself up on his elbows.
"Bloody hell, you look fucking hot." He says and quickly sits up pulling the hem of his shirt up and over his head. I instantly looked his body up and down before starting to feel up and down his body. I lick my lips and gasp once Harry pulls me onto his lap, moving his hands to my lower back slowly sliding one hand up to the back of my bra, unclasping it. I was totally confounded by how...right, how good it felt kissing Harry.
Slowly, Harry starts kissing my jawline, he was leaning over me now as his lips assaulted my skin. He looks down at me and starts to kiss down my neck, down to my collar bone, before his lips ghost over my covered breasts. Harry slowly pulls the bra down, letting it slide off of my shoulders before he begins touching my body so gently. I look at him as his fingers glide over my breasts and down my stomach slowly. It tickled slightly which caused me to smile. No one has ever touched me so slowly or so soft. Harry made me feel like I was a china doll and he was being very careful with me. When he gently kisses over my stomach, I giggle softly and cover my mouth quickly seeing him pulling my thong down slowly with his teeth. Fucking hell he looked so hot.
Once Harry gets my thong off and it drops to the floor, I sit up and unbuckle his belt with one hand using the other to trail my fingertips over his stomach. His silky skin felt amazing as I continue to caress his stomach, getting his belt off in a matter of seconds. I tug his pants and boxers down at the same time. His thick, long cock springing free of the constricted hold that was his clothing. He lets out a sexy groan out of relief.
"Do you like this? Hmm? Feel good baby?' I whisper with a huge smirk on my face. Harry nods and watches me eagerly before he pushes me back into the bed. Things were starting to get heated now and I wasn't complaining at all. I glance at him, taking in all over his beautiful breath taking features.

After a minute of our eyes wondering over each others bodied, I hear a ripping sound. Harry was opening a condom with his teeth. I smile a bit and move back on the bed a little bit not knowing where he wanted me. I am actually pretty nervous because this is not just anyone I am having sex with, it's my best friend. Harry climbs on the bed and pushes my legs apart before getting in between my legs. He looks down at me his eyes full of lust as he leans down and attaches his lips to mine. Our mouths move in sync until he stops and looks down lining his tip against my entrance. I moan softly as I feel him push inside of me slowly.
Harry gives me a few seconds to adjust to his big size before kissing my nose and slowly moving in and out of me. Soon he picks up the pace each thrust forcing my breath to hitch and moans to tumble from my mouth. He was being so gently with me until I scratched my nails across his chest. Harry lets out a loud, long, and throaty moan before he speeds up his thrusts. I grab hold of the covers as he speeds up, drawing my orgasm closer and closer. He slows down at points so he wouldn't reach his peak before I did. After a few quick thrusts, I slowly arc my back and exhale deeply letting out a loud groan as Harry and I reach our high together. Harry continues to thrust in me sloppily as we ride out our highs, panting and closing his eyes once he rolls off of me.
My mind racing with a million words to describe how I feel. For a few minutes all that was heard was our heavy breathing. Maybe I should say something to him.
"How was that?" I ask him and look over at him seeing beads of sweat on his forehead. Harry nods and pulls then cum filled condom from over his length, putting a knot in it before he gets up, tossing it in the trash. Feeling increasingly tired, I roll over and close my eyes, feeling tow strong hands pull me underneath the cover. I feel the bed sink in and I smile to myself. Harry wraps his arms around me and hums a soft tune in my ear until I fall asleep. Every corner of my mind completely weightless. It was a serenity that I have never felt and only felt when I was with Harry.

Notes