Devoted To Sex

'But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yes, you make me so nervous
That I just can't hold your hand '
-Heart Attack- Demi Lovato

Zoe's point of view
It's been a few months since I've gotten that phone call from my dad. The phone call that changed my life completely. That phone call opened my eyes but I could honestly say it didn't put me in the right direction.
I've haven't done anything much with my life since my mum died. What was there to do but stay home and smoke weed, get high with random strangers and then fuck. Without my mum I was this weak worthless piece of shit. I didn't have courage without my mum. This life that I was living just didn't feel the same anymore.
I was becoming so depressed that I had even stopped writing in my journal. I didn't want to write down my feelings in a book. I didn't want to express how I was feeling to my father nor did I want to tell my therapist about anything.
For the past 5 months I've just locked myself in my room. I would only go downstairs to eat when my dad forced me to sometimes I would just throw it up afterwards. He was really worried about me but I didn't care.
I hear someone knock on the door and I sigh softly, dragging myself from off the floor, making sure that the blanket I had wrapped around me was wrapped around me all the way before I open the door. Uck... Dad. I sigh and look at him.
"What happened?" I ask him, leaning my back against the wall.
"I am tired of you locking yourself away from everyone. Trust me Zoey, I know how hard this is losing your mum but you don't have to go through this alone." He tells me and I shake my head.
"I'm fine." I lie and go over to my bed. I lay back in the bed, pushing my small ziploc bag of weed underneath my pillow. He didn't know that I was doing drugs and I didn't want him to find out.
"I don't care that you think you are fine. I want you to go out." He tells me and sighs softly, folding his arm against his chest. "I'm sure Grace misses hanging out with you." Oh. Grace. I had forgotten about her to be honest. "She's been calling a lot and so has some guy named Michael." He says and I roll my eyes. Mr. Fratta.
What did that man not get about me not wanting to see him anymore? It's not good for him to keep fucking me when he has a wife. He's gotta stop obsessing over me.
"Fine. I'll go out but, I'm not going to be happy about it." I mutter and get up off my bed. My dads face lights up when I say that and he smiles.
"Great! I'll give Grace a call back and tell her to come over." He smiles and exits the room finally. I roll my eyes and shut the door behind him.
"I don't want to go." I whisper and gather my towel, and my toiletries from my dresser before I go to take a shower. I let the water run down my body for a few moments before washing myself. "Tell me girl if every time we. T-o-ouch. You get this kinda. R-uh-ush. Baby say Yeah, yeah, yeah." I sing 'Kiss You' since the damn song was stuck in my head. "Na na nananana na na. Na na nananana na na. Na na nananana na na. So tell me girl if every time we...touchh." I practically scream at the top of my lungs.
"Oh my Jesus. Shut the fuck up!" I hear Grace yell at me. I laugh to myself and shake my head. "I haven't seen you in months can you hurry up in that damn shower?" She calls and I roll my eyes, rinsing my body and hair out. I grab my towel, drying off before I wrap my robe around myself. I come out of the bathroom and am greeted by my lovely brown haired friend in a tight gold colored dress. She opens her arms wide and gives me a huge hug.
I keep my arms by my side for a moment but eventually I hug her back. I wasn't used to getting hugs from people anymore. It felt pretty weird but I didn't want to let her go. I hug her tighter and close my eyes resting my head on her shoulder. "I missed you." I tell her softly and she pats my back.
"So have I. I'm sorry about what happened with your mum but you can't always just hide from people that care about you." She tells me and I nod. I pull out of the hug and she cups my face, looking me in my eyes. "I care a hell of a lot about you baby girl." She says giving me that amazing smile of hers.
"Alright." I whisper and peck her lips softly before going to my closet to look for something to wear. "Where do you want to go?" I ask her as I look at a pink strapless dress.
"Well I want to get piss drunk if that's okay with you." She says and laughs. I know she had a huge smirk on her face.
"Piss drunk? I think that we can do. Trust me I need some alcohol in my system of I am going to go crazy." I say slipping into a red thong and a matching bra. I pull my dress on not even knowing that Grace was standing there watching me.
I mean I had no problem with it because she's seen me naked plenty of times before. We had a thing a year ago. It wasn't really us going out we just messed around with each other and messed around with guys.
Once I get my dress on, I put on a little bit of makeup. Not too much though. I didn't want to look like a Barbie doll. I turn to Grace and smile, grabbing my coat and purse.
"Let's go betch." I say and laugh, pulling her down the stairs and out the door. She has her own car which is pretty awesome. I wish I had a car but I can't afford one at the moment. Weed had my money all tied up. My father said goodbye to us but we didn't say anything back to him.
We talk about Graces' mum having another kid by some guy and just about how life has been for the whole car ride to the club. We go to our favorite club which was really packed tonight for some reason. The paparazzi swarmed the outside of the club so someone famous had to be here. We just didn't know who.
"Maybe we will get lucky tonight." Grace winks and I laugh a little shaking my head.
"I don't think they will let us in." I tell her raising my eyebrows. The place was crawling with females and if someone here was famous I am sure they wouldn't let too many outsiders in. Grace gives me a look and let's her hair down, pulling the top of her dress down just a little.
"We are getting in and when we do. Thank these." She say pointing to her boobs. I laugh and roll my eyes. If she gets us in then that would be a miracle. I follow behind her as she pushes through the crowd of people in line.
"Wait, we can just get in." I tell her and tug her following the crowd of others going in a different way. Flashes of different colored lights move about the dance floor as people grind against others. We go over to the bar area and have a seat, next to some fine looking gentleman. They buy us drinks and Grace instantly starts to flirt with them. I shake my head at her and down my shot of vodka.
The guys were nice but they weren't my type so I took my search elsewhere. I push through the people as they dance, trying to get to one of the tables. I take a seat at a table once I get to one and sigh softly. I was starting to get hot even though I hadn't danced yet. Fanning myself with my hand, I look around at everyone enjoying themselves. I wanted to have a good time too but I wouldn't let myself. I need more drinks in my system then maybe I could be as happy as everyone else.
"Wow it's crazy hot in here." I hear a male voice say, snapping me from my thoughts. I look up quickly, my eyes widening. Why in all places did he have to be here. He had the pleasure of flying anywhere in the God damn world but of course he would be here.
"Yeah..." I whisper and feel the heat starting to creep up my cheeks. Why am I getting so flustered? This doesn't happen with anyone else but him. Why you?
"I'm guessing you don't remember me. I'm Harry." He says and my heart almost burst out of my chest.
"Oh, trust me. I remember you. I didn't think you would actually remember me." I say laughing a little, my palms becoming sweaty.
"How could I not remember such a beautiful face as yours Zoey." He smiles.

Notes