Closeted {Larry Stylinson AU}

Louis POV

I lay in my bed, thinking about God, and my Christianity. It's like, 10pm and I haven't stopped. I still believe, and I really don't want to be gay. What if my dad's right? What if all my bible studies were for nothing and I go to hell anyways, just for liking my gender. Is Harry worth it? What the fuck am I talking about, of course he is...

But it's all I've been thinking about lately. Nothing else. I still have a life to attend to, I can't just waste it on whether I'm going to hell, or if Harry's worth it. Fuck this... I'm just going to sleep. I shut my eyes and drift off...

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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Jesus, why the hell did I bring my alarm with me on vacation? Some "Vacation"... I still go to school and church... What's the point of this vacation? Could have stayed at home and have the same treatment.

"Louis darling, time for church!" I know, I know... I've been waking up every Sunday to the same thing for my whole fucking life, I should know the routine by now mum. I know I sound like an arsehole right now but I guess I've never been away from Harry this long, even before we were dating. It's eating me alive.

I sit up in my white bed with the sheets draped over my bare chest, and rub the sleep from my eyes. Apparently, my dad's the pastor for this church too. I don't know how, or why, but I guess he's the pastor for Sharon Temple in America too.

I walk to the bathroom that all of us, all five of us have to share, and brush my teeth. Sharing a bathroom with five people is hard. Especially when almost half of the people staying with you are girls. Disgusting tampons in the trash... Anyway, after that I walk back out, pull my suit from my dresser and start pulling on my trousers and belt. Then followed by the white oxford shirt and jacket. I spray some cologne on the back of my neck and put on my dress shoes. I then hear a faint knock at my door.

"Louis, it's your father. Can I talk with you for a moment?" He's actually asking to enter my room? Well, there's a first for everything. I open my bedroom door and he's already dressed up with a tux on, and his face is serious as death... He then sits on my bed, and I sit next to him.

"Louis, I think all these years, I've been pushing you too hard to not be who you are... Maybe you don't want to have a wife..." Holy shit, is he going to say it's okay if im gay?! This is wonderful! I smile to myself waiting for him to finish. "Maybe you just want to be alone, and give your life to god. That might be your spiritual gift! You're okay with being single..." Nooooooo, he was so close... So close to me coming out... But he just ruined it. He thinks I want to be forever alone.

"Dad, can we talk about this later? We have to leave in a couple minutes." He looks at his watch and jumps from my bed.

"You're right, be ready in five minutes!" He leaves my room and runs down the hall. I stand up and walk down the same hallway and see Lottie on her phone.

"Well, my mum and dad won't be home, so we could do something... My room. Hahaha, yeah it'll be fun, I've never kissed an American before... Yeah, bye..." She has a boyfriend now? Jesus, the tears will be on this one when we go back home. I lean on the wall next to her and stare at her sitting on the gray couch.

"What?" I cross my legs and arms and start tapping my foot.

"Who's coming over?" She looks down at her cell phone that's in her lap.

"Nobody." Nobody, my ass. I quickly snatch her phone and look through her call log. She tries to take it back but I'm too tall, even though I'm the shortest of my friends.

Last Call:
Mikey <3 <3 4:57am

"Who's Mikey?" I give her back her her phone and her face is really pissed.

"None of your business." Well okay then, little girl... Be like that. She walks off into the car and so does Ernie. I'm gonna find out who "Mickey" is... I follow Lottie to the car.

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My dad is taking care of the service, and is preaching again. I wonder what he's going to teach us now... I don't think it's good.

"Please let us open to the book of Leviticus..." Please don't be about gay people again... That shit is stupid. You don't have to go around and tell people "GAYS ARE BAD! KILL ALL GAYS! GOD HATES GAYS!"... You're hurting thousands of people, who can't help but love their sex.

"I thought since the 'Gay pride' thing isn't getting enough recognition in lots of churches all throughout the world, I should tell as many people as I can. It's just a phase... Even if it's been a year, it's still a phase. No matter how Christian you think you are, you're not one if you like your same gender. Like it says here, in the book of truth, you should be put to death... It's a bad thing, and it's becoming a popular teenager issue in both America, the uk, and even in other places."

I wish Harry was here, because I feel an outburst just waiting to happen... I might embarrass myself I front of this whole church if I scream...

"So, parents of this church... Don't expose your children to this, abomination... God loves you, but hates gays..."

I stand up abruptly and march out of the church. I feel eyes staring at me, but I don't give two shits. I can't listen to this! My dad is so blind to see that the abomination he's talking about, is his own son. I walk myself back to the hotel.

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I hear the front door open and it's my mother. "Louis, you just got up end left the service, there was important things needed to be learnt."

I roll my eyes and everyone else steps inside, even my neighbor Luke.

"Hey Luke." He runs to the couch I'm sitting on and crashes into me. "Hey Lou. Check out this girl I saw at Starbucks today..." He takes his phone out of his pocket and shows me a girl sitting at a table with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her tits are huge, which is why I think Luke likes her so much. She's beautiful, but not for me, she's okay...

"She's so hot!" Luke nods crazily.

"I know right!" I haven't came out to Luke, and since I'm leaving in 3 months, I don't think I ever will. He's nice, but not that type of friend you'd share secrets to.

"Guess what I got..." He gets his bookbag and un zippers the first pocket. He pulls out FIFA.

"Wanna play?"

"Hell yeah."

Notes

G'day my yers!!!! Really tired, sorry so can't write as much here. Bye!!