Trapped

"Can we" I cleared my throat. "Can we talk?" I sat on the armrest of the couch that Declan now called his bed. He had just gotten in a few hours ago and was watching Law and Order SVU reruns.

"What is there to talk about?" Declan said in a stern voice. His eyes didn't leave the television to even look at me.

"Declan, please. I just -" I moved closer. Now sitting next to him, I placed my hand on his leg but he quickly moved it away.

"You just want to what? Try to talk things out but have it end in another argument? Just like yesterday?" Declan was still staring at the television. "I thought you got the picture. Just leave me alone."

"But things will never get fixed between us if you keep resenting me.What if I don't 'get the picture', Declan? Do you want things to stay like this forever?" My voice shook, fighting back tears. "Do you like sleeping on the couch? Do you like constantly arguing? All I'm asking for is a conversation and you can't even give me that. Shit, you can't even fucking look at me."

"Why can't you just listen to me. I said leave me alone." Declan raised the volume on the television. I sat there, staring at him in disbelief. What could I possibly be doing wrong? Finally breaking his focus, he looked at me. "If you're so unhappy here, no one is asking you to stay. Leave for all I care, just shut the door on your way out."

"So this is it. Do you really think that by me leaving it will relieve all of your problems?" I got up and stood in front of the television. "You're fucked up in the head if you think this is all me Declan. Like you said last night, a relationship works both ways. I'm not going to stand here and tell you that I haven't done anything wrong, but you can't either. Just accept that you've fucked up too so we can move on. We both know what you did so just fucking own up to it and apologize."

"I don't have to apologize for shit." Declan turned off the television, stood up and was now looking me straight in the eye.

"You don't have to apologize for shit? Is that a joke?" I couldn't fight the tears anymore, it just became unbearable. "Declan you cheated on me multiple times with multiple people and I don't even get a sorry? Declan I fucking loved you. I cared about you more than anyone ever has, and you have the right to not only cheat on me, but not even apologize for it? It's been weeks since this happened and all I wanted, all that I hoped for was an apology - and you couldn't even give me that. So you're going to stand in front of me and tell me you don't have to apologize for shit?"

"You know what. You think that once I say 'sorry' everything is going to go back to normal? Sorry is just a fucking word, Kayla. Have you ever thought that I didn't want to say sorry because I didn't mean it? Maybe I don't feel bad for cheating on you - ever thought of that, princess?"

"So you mean..." I sniffled my nose and wiped away the tears, although they just kept on coming. "Declan, I don't even know what to say. I moved out here for you. I left my friends and my family for you. I quit my job for you. I loved you Declan. I spilled my entire heart out into this relationship, and you're telling me you don't feel bad for cheating on me? Lemme ask you this. Did you ever love me, Declan?" My voice started to shake, I started to shake. This overwhelming feeling took over my body.

"Don't think for a second that I didn't. People change, Kayla. That's life." Declan wasn't even looking at me now. He began pacing around the room, his head looking towards the windows.

"And when were you going to tell me that. Did you expect me to just find out? I'm not a mind-reader, how would you have expected me to know?" The room fell silent, the only sounds to be heard were Declan's footsteps and my sniffling. "You know, I was really hoping it wouldn't end this way." Declan turned his head towards me.

Declan cleared his throat. "I just think it would be best if you moved out and we went our separate ways."

Move out? I started panicking. Where did he expect me to go? I didn't have enough money to afford any sort of living arrangement. Wiping away the tears one more time, I looked at him. "Can I at least stay until I can figure something out?" I had never felt more pathetic than in that moment. I swallowed my pride because I would rather spend a few nights here than out on the street.

"I'll give you the weekend" Just like last night, Declan grabbed his coat and left.

The weekend? I was still panicking. It was Friday night so that only gave me two days to figure something out. I was at a loss. Going home wasn't an option, but the options I had here were slim to none. I sat down on the couch and began looking through my contact list for someone to help me out. Hopeless. Ugh. Fuck this. Name after name, I had finally reached the end and came out empty handed.

My stomach growled. With all of this worry and panic I had almost forgotten to feed myself. I didn't even have to open the fridge to know that it was empty, so I decided that I should just go out and get something. I put on my coat and left.

As I was walking down the stairs I saw a familiar face, in the exact same place as yesterday. He smiled at me. "Zayn!"

"Kayla, right? Fancy meeting you here in the exact same place." I smiled back at him. "Wait, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why would I not be?" Puzzled, I thought maybe he had heard Declan and I arguing from his flat.

"Your makeup." He pointed at the mascara runs and eyeliner smudges on my face that I had forgotten to wipe off.

"It's really nothing. Listen I'm in a rush. I'll catch you around" I turned around and started walking back down the stairs.

"Well if you need anything I'm in 310B"

Notes

okay here it is! :)
Im going to try to put up the next one this week - at least by wednesday!
Okay everyone have a good monday ;))

love you all lots