Not Just Friends
Chapter One
. . . . . . . . . . . Six months later
Vivian's POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. I often find myself wondering what they are doing, how they are. I find myself searching them on the internet to see what they are doing with their lives. They have tried to contact me, but I ignored them for the first week. I got a new sim card, too. I deleted my twitter and instagram accounts. I often wonder if they think of me like I do of them.
How I miss them.
I sigh as I rub my belly. There's nothing I would love more than for him to be the one to rub my belly. Since I left, I craved for the days I didn't have any memory of them at all. There's nothing I wouldn't do to not miss them.
"Honey, we have to go," my mom walks into my room with a small smile.
She's been so gently with me, knowing that even the slightest wrong words might cause me to break down. I've been trying to keep myself stable, for my daughter's sake, but it's hard sometimes. I don't want to bring her into this world when I'm the mess that I am, I want to be healed, happy and show no sign of heartache to her, but I'm not that strong yet. In two months, my daughter will be born. A part of the man I love will be with me. She will also be a reminder of my mistakes. I will never call her a mistake, because she's not, but by mistake, I mean breaking the heart of Liam. Not only him, but Louis too.
I nod gently and hold onto my desk as I push myself up. With a shark exhale, I make my way to my closet. I grab a warm gown and hug it around my body after I push my arms in. My mother walks in front of me to the front door, then holds the door open for me. I walk through the doors, then join my father in the car. I don't want to go at all. I don't want to be in the same city as them, but I have to say goodbye. My mother joins us in the car, offering a warm smile.
"I can't wait until Blue is born," my mother turns in her seat and gently pats my knee. I roll my eyes at the name she wants me to name my daughter. I share the happiness of my daughter with my parents, but I still don't feel ready for it. I'm excited to see her, to hold her. I'm excited and happy to know that there's something living inside of me. But I'm sad and broken to know that I left them. He will never know his daughter, I will never be married to either of them. The two men I love. I thought I didn't love Louis anymore, but I do. I love them both, and it hurts loving them both. They deserve better than me, they deserve much better than what I did to them. But I was afraid and ashamed. I ran. I ran as far as I could; I came to my parents. I begged them not to tell anyone that I was here. But now, I'm going back for a dreadful event. I'm going back for a funeral. The funeral of Louis' mother.
Liam's POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. I haven't heard her voice, I haven't seen her, I don't know where she is and what she's doing. I've searched everywhere I possibly could, but she's no where to be seen. The last place I hoped she's be, was her parents' house back in Canada, but they told me that she never went there. The thought of her being alone breaks my heart. Not completely alone, because I know she has a child with her. Not born yet, she's only 6 months pregnant. I sigh at the thought. I want to be with Vivian. I want to hold her and the baby, I want to be with them, help them. I scratch the back of my head as I grab my phone with my free hand. I go through the photos of Vivian that I have, a tear escaping my right eye as I look at her beautiful face. I love her so God damn much. I miss her, so, God. Damn. Much.
"We're all heading to Louis' early tomorrow morning, are you riding with us or on your own?" Zayn asks as he stands in my doorway.
I frown at him for a second as I think about Louis. The only time we spend together, is when we have to do things for the band. Other than that, we keep our distance. But his mother passed away, he needs us.
"I'll be ready," I force a smile. Zayn nods and walks away.
The funeral will be tomorrow in the morning, then everyone will go to his house afterwards. I don't plan on going to his house, though. I hope the lads know that. I'm merely showing respect to his mother by going to the funeral.
Louis' POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. Not a word have I heard from her, I haven't seen her either. And it kills me. I tried looking everywhere; not even her parents have seen her. She disappeared. I just hope that she's alright. I look at the piece of paper in my hand as I read over the words for the millionth time. I put the paper back down on my nightstand and it all gets too much as I look at the photo of my mother and I. Why did she have to leave so early? I'm still so young. I need her. With Vivian leaving and the reason behind it, my mother was the only one who was truly there for me. I told her everything, she even saw the letter. The stubborn tears fall to my cheeks, running to my lips. The salty taste enters my slightly parted mouth. I shake my head and wipe the tears away.
My mother wouldn't want to see me crying like this.
She would have wanted me to stay strong and to fight for what I love. Vivian. She was excited, very excited. She tried to help me find her, but then she was taken from us. My father is the strong one between the two of us; he's the one keeping everything together. Though at night, I can hear his cries. It only makes my cries heavier. I don't look forward to tomorrow at all. If only Vivian was here. That would have made everything better. If I saw her right now, I would kiss her. I won't be upset that she left anymore, I'd only want her. With her baby bump and all. I'd want her.
Vivian's POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. I often find myself wondering what they are doing, how they are. I find myself searching them on the internet to see what they are doing with their lives. They have tried to contact me, but I ignored them for the first week. I got a new sim card, too. I deleted my twitter and instagram accounts. I often wonder if they think of me like I do of them.
How I miss them.
I sigh as I rub my belly. There's nothing I would love more than for him to be the one to rub my belly. Since I left, I craved for the days I didn't have any memory of them at all. There's nothing I wouldn't do to not miss them.
"Honey, we have to go," my mom walks into my room with a small smile.
She's been so gently with me, knowing that even the slightest wrong words might cause me to break down. I've been trying to keep myself stable, for my daughter's sake, but it's hard sometimes. I don't want to bring her into this world when I'm the mess that I am, I want to be healed, happy and show no sign of heartache to her, but I'm not that strong yet. In two months, my daughter will be born. A part of the man I love will be with me. She will also be a reminder of my mistakes. I will never call her a mistake, because she's not, but by mistake, I mean breaking the heart of Liam. Not only him, but Louis too.
I nod gently and hold onto my desk as I push myself up. With a shark exhale, I make my way to my closet. I grab a warm gown and hug it around my body after I push my arms in. My mother walks in front of me to the front door, then holds the door open for me. I walk through the doors, then join my father in the car. I don't want to go at all. I don't want to be in the same city as them, but I have to say goodbye. My mother joins us in the car, offering a warm smile.
"I can't wait until Blue is born," my mother turns in her seat and gently pats my knee. I roll my eyes at the name she wants me to name my daughter. I share the happiness of my daughter with my parents, but I still don't feel ready for it. I'm excited to see her, to hold her. I'm excited and happy to know that there's something living inside of me. But I'm sad and broken to know that I left them. He will never know his daughter, I will never be married to either of them. The two men I love. I thought I didn't love Louis anymore, but I do. I love them both, and it hurts loving them both. They deserve better than me, they deserve much better than what I did to them. But I was afraid and ashamed. I ran. I ran as far as I could; I came to my parents. I begged them not to tell anyone that I was here. But now, I'm going back for a dreadful event. I'm going back for a funeral. The funeral of Louis' mother.
Liam's POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. I haven't heard her voice, I haven't seen her, I don't know where she is and what she's doing. I've searched everywhere I possibly could, but she's no where to be seen. The last place I hoped she's be, was her parents' house back in Canada, but they told me that she never went there. The thought of her being alone breaks my heart. Not completely alone, because I know she has a child with her. Not born yet, she's only 6 months pregnant. I sigh at the thought. I want to be with Vivian. I want to hold her and the baby, I want to be with them, help them. I scratch the back of my head as I grab my phone with my free hand. I go through the photos of Vivian that I have, a tear escaping my right eye as I look at her beautiful face. I love her so God damn much. I miss her, so, God. Damn. Much.
"We're all heading to Louis' early tomorrow morning, are you riding with us or on your own?" Zayn asks as he stands in my doorway.
I frown at him for a second as I think about Louis. The only time we spend together, is when we have to do things for the band. Other than that, we keep our distance. But his mother passed away, he needs us.
"I'll be ready," I force a smile. Zayn nods and walks away.
The funeral will be tomorrow in the morning, then everyone will go to his house afterwards. I don't plan on going to his house, though. I hope the lads know that. I'm merely showing respect to his mother by going to the funeral.
Louis' POV
It has been six months. Six long, painful months. Not a word have I heard from her, I haven't seen her either. And it kills me. I tried looking everywhere; not even her parents have seen her. She disappeared. I just hope that she's alright. I look at the piece of paper in my hand as I read over the words for the millionth time. I put the paper back down on my nightstand and it all gets too much as I look at the photo of my mother and I. Why did she have to leave so early? I'm still so young. I need her. With Vivian leaving and the reason behind it, my mother was the only one who was truly there for me. I told her everything, she even saw the letter. The stubborn tears fall to my cheeks, running to my lips. The salty taste enters my slightly parted mouth. I shake my head and wipe the tears away.
My mother wouldn't want to see me crying like this.
She would have wanted me to stay strong and to fight for what I love. Vivian. She was excited, very excited. She tried to help me find her, but then she was taken from us. My father is the strong one between the two of us; he's the one keeping everything together. Though at night, I can hear his cries. It only makes my cries heavier. I don't look forward to tomorrow at all. If only Vivian was here. That would have made everything better. If I saw her right now, I would kiss her. I won't be upset that she left anymore, I'd only want her. With her baby bump and all. I'd want her.
Notes
The second book is OUT! :) I'd just like to thank Zaynlove for the beautiful cover. Could you girls please vote for this book? And leave me some comments on your thoughts! ;)
Nooooooo!!!! Please don't delete this book!!!!!!! Not to sound needy or rude or anything but I have been waiting and checking for an update on this story!!!! I really am enjoying it! Please don't delete it and pretty please continue writing it!!! <3
PS. I hope all is well and you're okay. <3 <3 <3
11/16/15