In My Arms

He stared at her. Elizabeth was vaguely aware of several things: the faint smell of rapidly over cooking French toast, how sexy his lips looked when they were slightly parted, and how this was one of several bad reactions she’d previously worried he’d show when she told him. The worst was him leaving her. The best was him being happy. The silent reaction fell somewhere in the middle; whatever he said next would dictate which direction the pendulum swung.

He was still staring, his eyes wide and fixed on her.

“I, um, I had a feeling the night we broke up. My period was late and, you know as well as I do that never happens because it’s like clockwork. Usually. But then this time it wasn’t and,” she nervously ran her fingers through her hair, yanking her hand through snarls created by curls, “I took a test and it was positive. And…the French toast is burning.”

Harry turned and shut off the burner. “So…uh…how?”

“How.”

“No…what I mean is,” he took a deep breath and again focused his eyes on hers, “you’re on the pill. How could it happen?”

His continual staring and refusal to move away from the stove didn’t seem to bode well. She fitfully tugged on the bottom of the shirt. “I asked the doctor, actually, because I wondered the same thing. She said it was the pneumonia. I treated with antibiotics and sometimes, antibiotics can alter the effectiveness of birth control pills. My lungs got better, but taking the pill had no effect whatsoever in preventing pregnancy. If we’d known, we could have used a backup.”

“How…um…how far…”

“Ten weeks. I have a test scheduled the end of next week for something called a first trimester screen. It’s…well, it’s a test to check for birth defects and abnormalities. And it’s the first sonogram to see the baby.” She tried to smile, but she could feel her lower lip quiver. “The doctor said it’s never too soon to start a baby book.”

He looked away from her, raising his hand to his mouth and biting the flesh of his knuckle. It was the typical Harry stance for thinking. Debating. Elizabeth held her breath. Maybe this had been the wrong time to tell him; maybe she should have waited until they’d had more time to rekindle their romance. But it’d bothered her. It gnawed at her mind every time he touched her. Looked at her. Kissed her. Shit, talk about making headlines…

It seemed like he’d been silent for five minutes, but she knew it was probably only a matter of seconds. His lips curled up in a sheepish smile and he looked up, his eyes sparking. “I’m going to be a dad? Really?”

She nodded.

He threw his arms around her and held her to him, one hand secured around her waist and the other cradling her head. “We made a baby…no fucking way.”

“Are you mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” He pressed his hands to her cheeks, cradling her face, and then kissed her. “It’s not what we planned on…at least, not right away, but I’m happy. Really, properly happy. I want a baby with you, love. I do.”

She started crying. Everything was perfect—maybe not planned, but he loved her. He was happy they’d made a baby. Her childhood was fucked up from the start: Keith wasn’t a father, her mother was busy working two jobs to make ends meet, and she’d turned to drugs at fourteen. Now, in a way, she had her own little family. She had Harry—and that was all that mattered.

“Hey,” he soothed, kissing away her tears, “don’t cry. It’s going to be okay; I’m not going anywhere. This is okay. It’s all okay.”

“People are going to say we’re too young.”

He shrugged. “I’m twenty-one, love. I can drink here legally now and I got you knocked up. Let them say what they want—your opinion is the only one that matters to me. And my mommy’s.”

She stared up at him, suddenly feeling very small in his arms. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”

“You didn’t miss much. People seemed to have a difficult time deciding what to say to me; I got extremely drunk, and threw up in Gemma’s car.” He took a step back and lifted her shirt up, trailing his fingers down her abdomen. “My baby is in there.”

“It’s strange knowing that I’m sharing a body with part of you.” She chewed on her bottom lip, critically staring at her frame. “Do I look pregnant?”

“You look impossibly breathtaking.” He slid his hands around her thighs and lifted her into his arms, nuzzling his face against hers. “You know what those lacy panties do to me.”

She tangled her fingers in his dark hair and trailed her thumbs down the nape of his neck. “We’ll only be able to keep this a secret for so long. I’m short and skinny. I’m surprised I’m not showing yet.”

“Everyone knows we’re having sex—and lots of it.” He pressed his lips to her throat. “I’m sure the world will recover from the fact we made a baby.”

“And what about us?”

“We,” He set her on the ground, but kept her cradled in his arms, “are perfect.”

####

The lights in the sonography suite were dim; the room was mainly lit by the glow of under cabinet lights and the large computer monitor. A cushioned examination table was set up next to the digital equipment and beside it, a plush, comfortable looking chair. Harry almost felt like he should introduce himself to the chair: together, they were going to see his baby for the first time. This chair was going to support him.

He kind of wanted to throw up.

The tech motioned to the exam table. “You can get situated up there, Elizabeth, while I get your file pulled up.” She glanced at him. “Are you the father?”

He nodded.

“Okay, Dad, then you have a seat in the chair,” she was obviously biting back a smile, “and try to relax.”

Elizabeth crawled up onto the examination table and reclined back, resting her head against the pillow. She rolled her head to the side and smiled at him. “Hazza. It’s fine.”

“I’m nervous.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about, today’s a piece of cake.” The tech turned the computer monitor so he could see it. “Okay, Elizabeth, you don’t need to unbutton you jeans if you can slide them down…yes, just like that. Now, pull your shirt up enough so I can get to your belly.”

Elizabeth reached over and pulled his hand into hers. “Ready?”

“Sort of.” He pressed her knuckles to his lips and stared at the blank computer monitor. Any minute now, he was going to see his baby. Was he ready? Was he absolutely ready for this? This was going to change everything.

He glanced at Elizabeth. Everything, that is, except how he felt about her.

The tech tucked a towel into Elizabeth’s jeans to protect the fabric and then squirted a greenish, clear gel on her stomach.

Lizzie giggled. “That’s oddly warm.”

“We warm it up for you. It’s gross cold.” The tech settled down on a stool and picked up a white ultrasound probe. She smiled. “Okay, here we go.”

She pressed the rounded piece to Lizzie’s stomach, pressing down and moving it slowly towards her hip bone. Harry watched the computer monitor and, after several seconds, a ghostly gray image showed up on the screen. Harry felt his jaw drop. He could clearly see the baby’s head and the delightfully rounded baby tummy.

Elizabeth tightened her hand around his. “Oh my god.”

The tech typed something on the computer keyboard. “We won’t be able to tell the baby’s sex for another nine or ten weeks. But you can see the spine here,” she trailed her fingertip across the screen, “and this right here is your baby’s heartbeat.” She pressed a few more buttons on the monitor and then looked at them. “Have you listened to the heartbeat yet?”

Harry shook his head. “Could we?”

She flipped a switch on the probe. After a second, a rapid shoowsh shoowsh shoowsh filled the tiny room. Harry could feel tears pricking the back of his eyes. He’d never heard anything more beautiful than the tiny shooshing heartbeat.

Elizabeth looked at him, smiling her gorgeous smile. “Look how much it’s moving. I can’t feel any of it.”

“He or she’s only about the size of a Brussels sprout right now.” The tech nodded at Elizabeth’s cell phone. “Do you want to record the heartbeat?”

Elizabeth nodded. She fumbled with the phone for a few moments and then held it up to the speaker. Swoosh swoosh swoosh swoosh; it was steady and strong.

“141 beats per minute.” The tech nodded. “Perfect.”

Elizabeth pulled the phone back to her and turned it to the camera, snapping a picture of her and Harry. “How big is he….or she?”

The tech typed a few buttons on the keyboard. “About an inch and a half long.”

Over the next half hour, the tech took various measurements of the baby’s body. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the screen and the frame of their tiny baby. She printed out a huge strip of pictures for them: several of the baby’s profile, a close up of a tiny foot, and other various shots of the entire baby. She assured them the measurements of the baby were perfect and, following bloodwork, he and Elizabeth strolled out of the radiology office and headed towards Starbucks.

He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. “That was amazing.”

“It’s seems real now, which is terrifying.”

“I guess we need to let your mom and Keith know.” He paused. “And, more horrifying, my mother.” Harry pressed his lips to her forehead. “That’s going to make for an interesting conversation.”

“I feel like every time your mom looks at me, she thinks, ‘that’s the ignorant slut who’s sleeping with my son.”

“I assure you that’s not what she’s thinking.” He laughed. “But…she accused me of trying to get into your pants first.”

She elbowed him gently. “Well, that completely true. You got me naked and then seduced me with that raspy British accent.”

“You seduced me with those legs and how gorgeous you are.” He stopped walking and pulled her against him, roughly pressing his mouth to hers. “You had me naked first.”

“You very willingly took them off, as I recall.”

“What can I say, you’re hot.” He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and took her hand in his, lacing his fingers around her. He pulled her forward. “Paps. Time to go.”

She giggled. “We’re like cockroaches and someone just turned on a light. Scatter!”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t get up in your face and crowd you.” He kept her close to him. How did they always manage to find them so fast? It was fucking nonsense. “Once that belly of yours gets big, I’m going to be shoving them in the street.”

“Hazza, you’re a lover not a fighter.” She nuzzled against him. “Gangsta you are not.”

“I’m British. We’re very refined and dignified. Gentleman in the streets,” he kissed her, “god in the sheets.”

Elizabeth started laughing, tucking her head close to him as the cameraman scampered up next to them. Harry recognized the pap; he was always trolling around LA but, usually, once he got his shots he was well on his way. “Guys, what’s going on? So the rumors weren’t true?”

Elizabeth giggled. “What rumors?”

“The break up, come on, no one has seen you two together in like two months. She’s been at all the awards by herself.” The pap circled around them and walked backwards, snapping several pictures. “Dude, tell me you’re back together. Or never broke up. Everyone loves Hazbeth.”

“We’re in a hurry, man.” Harry fished in his pocket for his car keys. He’d find a drive through Starbucks for them.

“You look pretty in love.”

“Very in love.” Harry corrected. “She’s the world to me.”

“Thanks, Harry.” The pap took a few steps back as Harry opened the car door for Elizabeth. “You two look amazing together, I’m glad it wasn’t over or something.”

Elizabeth winked at Harry. “Us too.”

Notes

Sorry, guys, I've been out of town. Hope you like this--let me know what you think!