Held Tight, No Fright

When your kidnapped, you realize you have a lot more free time. Actually, you realize a lot of things. Like how much you actually miss everything back home. Your family, or in my case... my dad. My boyfriend, my school, my friends, even though their idiots. Everything seems to have a special place in your heart... and when you lose them all at once, you seem to shatter bit by bit. When your kidnapped, you experience a whole lot of emotions you never knew could hurt so bad. The feeling of loss, hurt, fear, empty. I sometimes wish I could just learn to be happy with Harry, because we all know I'm never getting away. But no matter how much I try, I feel repulse by him. After that day I told him I was "his", he's been different. He's been more possessive, and mean. He hit me because I told him I wasn't hungry. Granted, I hadn't eaten in three days, but can you blame me? Here I am, trapped, and held hostage by some weird man... eating isn't exactly on my agenda. I have now gained a new talent... gagging every time I hear his voice. He has come up with a new nickname for me, Nick. I hate it so much! First of all, he's not close enough with me to give me a nickname, second of all, it sounds like a guy name! Nick is no where uni-sex! Third of all, Nicky is my name.

Currently, I was laying on my bed, my face buried in my pillow... and I haven't let in air for like five minutes. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish. I wasn't really trying to kill myself, I was just trying to block everything out for once.

Suddenly, something cold and chilly touched my bare leg and I squeaked and jumped so high I nearly fell off the bed. Harry was holding out a cup, his eyes looked haunted and he had a frown on his face, making me shiver. He's not in a good mood. "Here." He held out the glass further so I could grab it.

With shaky hands, I found the cool cup and I peeked inside. It was like a cinnamon color and so I brought it to my nose and sniffed. The smell wasn't easy to miss, and so I gave Harry and questioning look. He rolled his eyes and brought up a chair next to my bed "It's apple juice."

"I know what it is... I'm-I'm just confused." I said between the lump rising in my throat and my shaky limbs.

"It's just apple juice, what's there to be worried about?" His eyes narrowed and he eyed the glass in my hand. I wanted to tell him my fears on it being poisoned or something. Date rape is a real thing, and I don't want to drink whatever he gives me. Something deep in me, says its not drugged. Something deep inside me says just drink it, considering Apple Juice is one of my favorite drinks. My mom and I used to sit at the kitchen with a huge bottle of it, and we'd just sit there and smile at each other while drinking. It was one of my favorite child hood memories, and that's another reason why I'm skeptical. I don't want my love of drinking apple juice and memories of it turn to shit because I got drugged while drinking it. Harry sighed "You think its drugged." He totally read my mind.

I flinched and I was expecting a slap to the face "I-I'm... I'm so-sorry."

"Its not drugged, I swear to you." He said. "Just drink it... look, I have a glass of my own." He held up a glass filled with the brownish color liquid. "It's my favorite drink, and I wouldn't drug anyone to get what I want."

It words to anyone else would have seemed like utter bullshit, but to me... they felt true. Plus, did he just say apple juice is his favorite drink? My heart tightened and I suddenly felt like crying. The loss of my mother hitting me in ways I thought I was strong enough to hold back. But Harry was bringing these memories back. I have no clue how, and frankly it scared me. "I..." funny thing was, I couldn't form a sentence. It felt like at any moment, I was gonna explode in a wave of tears and regret.

"You don't look to good." His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me with what seemed as concern. "Nicky, are... are you crying?"

I honestly thought I was holding it together pretty good. But when Harry reached over and ran the ball of his thumb over my cheek, I looked down and noticed he had collected a tear. I was trying to figure out if I was more surprised by the fact he was actually being nice, or that he just called me Nicky. "No." I answered a little to quickly and wiped my face with the back of my hand.

"What did I say?" He actually looked genuinely worried and curious.

"Nothing, its fine." And to shut him up, I downed the apple juice. It felt amazing on my sore throat and I couldn't help but moan at the sensation only to flick my eyes open at realization at what I had done.

He had a crooked smirk on his face and I groaned. The old Harry was back. "Thirsty are we?" He said in a seductive tone.

I couldn't help but make a look of disgust spread on my face. He wasn't talking about drink thirsty and I knew that much "No. I'm alright." I said in a stricked tone.

He chuckled and sipped at his drink "Can I ask you something?" He said suddenly.

My eyes narrowed at his randomness "Sure, but I wont promise that I'll answer."

"Is Nicky your real name?"

His question was so innocent I found myself wondering if he had actually asked it. Huh? What brought this up? it actually made me wonder if I should answer it truthfully, I mean... there is no harm to the question that I know of. "No, my real name is Nicole."

"Why not go by that then?" He leaned in so his elbows rested on his knees as he waited for my answer.

"I don't know. The nickname just kind of stuck." I shrugged. It wasn't a big deal, it was just a nickname.

"My name is also a nickname if you want to be technical. Harold is my real name."

I bit my lip and snuggled deeper into my blanket "Then why go by Harry?"

"Harold makes me sound so much older than I actually am."

I nodded. It was true, Harold was for old people in my book "Yeah, I can see it."

"When I come of age though, I'm gonna have people call me my real name." He drank his juice again.

"Why not stay Harry? It suits you."

He gave me a small smile "I don't do nicknames. I feel like its hiding something deep within you."

Was he right? I didn't feel like a Nicole, I felt like a Nicky "I like my nickname."

He shrugged "Nah, I don't. Nicole suits you." Nice, he just pulled the same damn card on me.

Are we actually having a civilized conversation?! I actually wanted to keep it going "What's your favorite animal?"

He chuckled once again "What?"

"You asked me a question, I'm asking you one." I shrugged.

"A turtle. You?"

I nearly sprained my neck from how fast I shot up from my bed "Your favorite animal is a turtle?!"

He narrowed his eyes and nodded "Yeah... why?"

"Mine is also a turtle!" I have no idea why this was so fascinating to me. His favorite drink was apple juice and he liked turtles, what else do we have in common?

"Hm, okay. Favorite male singer?" All these questions were so random, but I honestly didn't care.

"Um, Chris Marten, from Coldpay." Coldplay was my life. They have helped me through a whole lot in my life.

"Same with me!"

For once since I was here... I smiled. A real one. A real smile with teeth and everything. I was actually enjoying this. "Sweet."

He suddenly narrows his eyes at me, "Nicole?"

My head snapped up at the sound of my real name "Huh?"

"Why were you crying?"

Now everything in my life that was wrong came crashing back. I was here, instead of with my dad and boyfriend and friends. I was forced to be here with a maniac! He was holding me hostage and I was smiling with him. FUCK! "Nothing!" I snapped.

"It wasn't nothing." He voice hardened.

"You have no business in knowing my outside life! I'll tell you if you tell me something that you've had to hold in for half your damn life!"

Now his eyes were smoldering "I hope you know your nothing here you little brat! I brought you here, and I can make you die here! Fucking test me, I dare you!" Then he was gone.

How did we go from innocent questions to threatening to kill me? Normally, I would have freaked out by the fact that he just said he could kill me, but I didn't feel scared. If he kills me, so be it.

Notes

I hurt everywhere. My head, my legs, arms, and even my chest. Do you ever have those days were you just feel like shit no matter what. Your day could be going totally fine, but you just feel broken and empty? That was today. I have about a week until I go back to school, and it honestly makes me want to cry. *sigh* heres an update. Love you all, thanks for reading.

Bye.