The court date has been set. Calum's is on April 2nd, 2 days from now. Luke's is on April 5th. Why were they so far apart. Maybe it's because the judge knows we will need time. Probably not but I'm going to think that way.

I was on my way to see Luke today. Would he be upset that I didn't come yesterday? Hopefully not. Maybe he'll hug me longer. Yeah. I was staring out the window as Ashton drove. His wavy hair was in a man bun. He looked nice today. Black skinny jeans, a white Smells Like Teen Spirit singlet with a dark olive green jacket. His brown leather boot reminded me of a girl's. Made me chuckle.

I didn't look very presentable today. Black leggings and a gray Pink Floyd singlet. I had my normal shoes on. My hair was in a pony tail since it wasn't cooperating. I didn't wan to dress up for Luke. I knew he wouldn't want me to either.

We did our usual routine to get to see the two boys. I go see Luke first and then Calum. I was afraid to see Calum. What if this as the last time I see him in jail. He'll go to prison for life. there is no question about it. Luke will go either for life or for a long ass time.

"What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" I jumped at Ashton's soft voice. I look at him but his eyes were focused on the road. I fiddled with my fingers in my lap a bit.

"Are you afraid, Ashton?" Ashton is one of the strongest men I know. Besides Calum. He has somehow hidden his feeling this whole time. The only time he's actually shed a tear was when I got back from searching for him. The rest of the time he's comforted Michael and I. He's put us first. I don't expect him to tell me the truth.

"I'm scared to death." He says. I look back at him as he puts his sunglasses on. It isn't even sunny...

"I didn't think you'd be afraid. You're so strong." I say softly. He smiles a little.

"I don't want you guys thinking that you can't lean on me because I cry, too. I want to be the strong grown-up in your life, Chelsea. You're older brother. Someone you can come to for advice or look at when you're sad. I can't be weak." I didn't understand. He want to be a brother figure to me by being strong?

"Ashton. You don't need to hide your feeling, y'know. You can let go if you want." I say to him. He doesn't answer so I sit in silence. Ashton just stared at the road with his lips in a tight line for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"You have a cute accent, you know?"

---

I sat in the same chair with the same expression I did the first time I visited Luke. Why am I always so nervous to see him? Maybe this is how love is like. I don't know. The door opened and in came Luke.

I think...

His face was swollen and purple. Cuts were everywhere. I stood up so fast that I went dizzy for a few seconds. Once he sees me, he steps back. That broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

"Luke-"

"You didn't visit yesterday." He points out. I start walking towards him but he just steps back further.

"I know but-"

"I waited for hours. I knew you would come. I sat in my bed with a smile, knowing that I could see you again. But hours went by and the more I lost hope. I was so upset, Chelsea. So upset that I got a beating... by several people." Tears built up in his eyes as he looked away from me.

"I'm here now, baby. I'm not going anywhere." I wanted to hug him but I was afraid he's in pain. Luke stared at me for what felt like years.

"Why? Why do you still come here? There is nothing special about me, Chelsea. I'm not some rich guy that takes you places and buys you things. I'm the total opposite. I took you. I practically changed you. Forced you into being with me. Normal boys don't do that." A tear slid down his cheek. Then another. Then another.

"Because... Well, I thought a lot last night. About you. I remembered how you treated me. How you cared about how I was after everything. A-And... I don't know what love is or what it feels like... but I think that... Dammit, Luke." I cover my face in frustration. Luke grabbed my wrists and pulled them away.

"What, Chelsea? You think what?"

"I can't say it..."

"Tell me how you feel. How you felt. Tell me that you love me just as much as I love you. Tell me that your heart wants mine as much as mine wants yours." And that's when time just... stopped. I froze, remembering those exact words when he pulled me away from the boys that one day. The day I felt wanted. The day I was kissed. The day I realized that I might have been falling for him.

I said he was living in a fantasy world. I told him I didn't love him and that I didn't need him. But now, when I look back at that girl trying to fight her feelings, I know how wrong she is. I do need Luke. I need him more than anything. I look Luke right in the eye. The blackened, swollen eye and say,

"I love you, Luke Hemmings."

Notes

Song Recommendations:

• Fuck You ~ Lily Allen
• I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy An All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me ~ Fall Out Boy
• Half A Heart ~ One Direction
• The Only Reason ~ 5 Seconds Of Summer
• Asshole ~ Ronnie Radke (ft. Andy Biersack)

QOTD: "I do not know if we each have a destiny, or if we are all floating around accidentally-like on a breeze." ~Forrest Gump


Sorry it's so short. Do you guys still like this story or is it getting annoying and boring. I am willing to do something to tweak it a bit. I have a good idea so get prepared because it's gonna happen on... Day 22? Is that going to work? Maybe idk. ilysfm

Chelsea :) :) :) :)