Jana’s POV
I sit quietly on the couch, waiting for Tori to get her clothes on. It’s Christmas Eve and I told Niall I would let her come over and stay. Me and Taylor will stay there too, obviously.

I had wondered what it was like to be in that huge house alone all the time. But I guess I won’t ever find that out.

Almost two years of my life has been devoted to Niall. Tori will be Five years old in February. She’s going to start a home schooling pre-school program in January, to get her ready. She won’t be going to regular school, Niall’s suggestion.

Taylor’s five months old and I couldn’t adore him any more than I do. But I’ll tell you, he’s definitely a daddy’s and Mommy’s boy.

I usually have Niall over every night to make sure Tori can get to sleep well, and the baby too. He likes to help out with Taylor as much as possible, and I don’t want him to miss out on anything big.

Niall usually stays to eat dinner with us, which is sweet. And I know what you’re thinking, do they still act like they’re together?

Well, technically, me and Niall never broke up. We’re just on a pause. We do plan to get back on track eventually.

He doesn’t have one problem with us being the way we are. He hugs me the same, he kisses me but only on my cheek. That’s all I will allow for now.

When he stays over, which rarely happens, he sleeps on the couch. He doesn’t disrespect me, and I’ve always loved that.

He’s working on new music, I know for sure. He let me hear a few of his songs. Some based on me, which was expected.

But I only wish the absolute best for him and his career. He’s in the middle of writing his own book. He’s about half way. He told me that about a third or more of the book would be all about me, Tori, and Taylor, which is so amazing. Its so sweet of him.

I do look forward to a happy future with the kids and Niall. And hopefully we can work all of our problems out and get back like before. I enjoy the life I have. I enjoy my children. I enjoy Niall’s company and his love. I enjoy and appreciate my friends and my supportive family.

And honestly, I am grateful of Niall’s fans that actually care, some of them don’t, but still.

Its not the end of the world if some one takes a little break. Can’t everyone see that?

Apparently not..

I can do this though. I can make it on my own. Niall will always be there when I need him, so its not like I’m alone and have no one to lean on. Because I do..

I know the question you all are asking. Do I still love Niall? After all the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the fights and makeups, the kisses, the hugs, the sex, the touching, the eye contact, the everything little thing that’s ever happened between us….

Well, here’s your answer..




















Yes.

Notes

Guys, this has been a huge honor! I loved that you are so into this and that you are interested in everything that happens. I agree that Jana is being some sort of "a bitch" right now, but if you read chapter 48 (i think?..lol!!) and read the paragraph then you will understand. The sequel's coming soon! I might start tonight...... BUT EVERYONE MUST COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE AND RATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read the paragraph: *i bolded the important things(the main reasons)!* **this wil help you realize why she's mad!!!!!!!!!!**
Jana’s POV

“Shh.. Mommy’s got you, baby.’’ I whisper to Taylor as he squirms, slightly whining, as I put his clothes on him. I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of being blamed for everything. I’m sick of having to hide in the shadows and stay locked away because of Niall’s world status.

I’m sick of having to do everything. I can’t be the mother and the father all the time. I can’t do everything. I can’t be the one to tend to the baby all day, and Tori. I can’t be the one to stay in this house and pretend to live happy.

I’m not happy. Its been a long time since I’ve been “happy”. I don’t even know the meaning of that word anymore.

Niall baby’s Tori too much. He doesn’t ever discipline her unless I say so. I’m tired of it. Tori can’t have everything.

She wasn’t always like this. My daughter used to be simple and helpful and sweet. But now she’s a brat. A spoiled little brat. Its all Niall’s fault.

I refuse to let him get in the way of my life any more. I’m sick of.. I’m sick of everything.. especially this fucked up relationship…

Sick of it