Only Reason
Chapter 48: Not Full
Jana
Tori//Taylor
Jana’s POV
I sit the bags in the trunk. I was tired and ready to leave. Tori and Taylor were already in their seats and the car was already on. We were ready. And that’s all that matters right now. I left a note on the bed that said I would send for the rest of our clothes.
And by send, I mean I’ll send Harry. He was the second to know about this change in my life. I send him a text after
Niall figured it all out. Harry promised to be there for all four of us, through thick and thin..
I open my door and go to get in, but as I did, some thing touched me. Not just any something. Niall touched me. His hand on my waist. I remove my foot from inside the car, that’s how far I had gotten which wasn’t far at all.
His eyes water as the tears continue to trail down his face. Mine are the same way, but yet, something about his tears are different from mine. “I..’’ He stops himself from saying anything as he drops his hand from my waist and sighs to himself.
‘’I know its hard to take.. I just.. I need this Ni.’’ I mumble, trying to encourage him that this is the perfect thing we all need. A change.
‘’No.. its not.’’ He shakes his head lightly. ‘’If you love me, then you’d understand.. I just need some alone time. I need to be on my own for a while.. please.. can’t you understand?’’ I ask, worried that he’ll never be able to understand my reasoning and I would have to live with the grief of leaving for my entire life.
“I do love you Jana. I’ve always loved you and I won’t stop.. I just don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to take my kids away from me.. I don’t.. I don’t.. I don’t understand.’’ He stutters, nervously.
‘’Niall.. please.. just. Let me do this while I can. I promise its not permanent.’’ I whisper, trying to keep my voice down and hid my emotions from Tori. She knows when I’m upset.. and right now.. I’m very upset.
“I know.. but. What.. what about.. them?’’ He asks, motioning to the kids. ‘’I promise you can see them whenever you want to.. I just.. maybe you’ll understand later on.’’ I sigh out, closing my eyes for a moment before finding some strength and opening them back up to see Niall holding his hand out to me.
I look in his palm. He looks down at it to. The ring. ‘’This isn’t staying here. I don’t care if you leave forever. Or if you leave for a while. Or even if you hate me or still love me.. this is going with you.. no matter what.’’ He mumbles as he grabs my left hand and slides the ring back onto my finger.
‘’I promised I’d love you forever… and I’m not breaking my promise.’’ He whispers gently before leaning to me and placing a gentle, soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. Usually, I would return the favor. But this time..
I don’t.
I thank the man as I take the key from him. Harry grabs the bags and follows me to the elevator. ‘’You could have stayed with me for a while, Love.’’ Harry tells me as we reach the elevator.
‘’Thanks for the offer, but you know I just want to be on my own.’’ I smile gently to him as I sit Taylor’s car seat on the ground, Tori squatting down to talk to him.
I’m very happy to have Harry as a good friend. He’s so helpful and will do anything he is asked to do, like helping me move to the apartment I literally just got. The rent is that much, only about $500 per month. But the bills and stuff, it all adds up to around $700-$800 I think.
But that’s okay, its worth it.
It wasn’t long until we were on the tenth floor the complex. Harry and I look for my apartment door number, and finally, we find it. Its not at the direct end of the hall, sorta in the middle.
I open the door and there it is. My new life. Its nice. Its.. amazing. Its.. anything but perfect..
Because in order for my life to be perfect..
My heart has to be full….
And its not.
Tori//Taylor
Jana’s POV
I sit the bags in the trunk. I was tired and ready to leave. Tori and Taylor were already in their seats and the car was already on. We were ready. And that’s all that matters right now. I left a note on the bed that said I would send for the rest of our clothes.
And by send, I mean I’ll send Harry. He was the second to know about this change in my life. I send him a text after
Niall figured it all out. Harry promised to be there for all four of us, through thick and thin..
I open my door and go to get in, but as I did, some thing touched me. Not just any something. Niall touched me. His hand on my waist. I remove my foot from inside the car, that’s how far I had gotten which wasn’t far at all.
His eyes water as the tears continue to trail down his face. Mine are the same way, but yet, something about his tears are different from mine. “I..’’ He stops himself from saying anything as he drops his hand from my waist and sighs to himself.
‘’I know its hard to take.. I just.. I need this Ni.’’ I mumble, trying to encourage him that this is the perfect thing we all need. A change.
‘’No.. its not.’’ He shakes his head lightly. ‘’If you love me, then you’d understand.. I just need some alone time. I need to be on my own for a while.. please.. can’t you understand?’’ I ask, worried that he’ll never be able to understand my reasoning and I would have to live with the grief of leaving for my entire life.
“I do love you Jana. I’ve always loved you and I won’t stop.. I just don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to take my kids away from me.. I don’t.. I don’t.. I don’t understand.’’ He stutters, nervously.
‘’Niall.. please.. just. Let me do this while I can. I promise its not permanent.’’ I whisper, trying to keep my voice down and hid my emotions from Tori. She knows when I’m upset.. and right now.. I’m very upset.
“I know.. but. What.. what about.. them?’’ He asks, motioning to the kids. ‘’I promise you can see them whenever you want to.. I just.. maybe you’ll understand later on.’’ I sigh out, closing my eyes for a moment before finding some strength and opening them back up to see Niall holding his hand out to me.
I look in his palm. He looks down at it to. The ring. ‘’This isn’t staying here. I don’t care if you leave forever. Or if you leave for a while. Or even if you hate me or still love me.. this is going with you.. no matter what.’’ He mumbles as he grabs my left hand and slides the ring back onto my finger.
‘’I promised I’d love you forever… and I’m not breaking my promise.’’ He whispers gently before leaning to me and placing a gentle, soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. Usually, I would return the favor. But this time..
I don’t.
I thank the man as I take the key from him. Harry grabs the bags and follows me to the elevator. ‘’You could have stayed with me for a while, Love.’’ Harry tells me as we reach the elevator.
‘’Thanks for the offer, but you know I just want to be on my own.’’ I smile gently to him as I sit Taylor’s car seat on the ground, Tori squatting down to talk to him.
I’m very happy to have Harry as a good friend. He’s so helpful and will do anything he is asked to do, like helping me move to the apartment I literally just got. The rent is that much, only about $500 per month. But the bills and stuff, it all adds up to around $700-$800 I think.
But that’s okay, its worth it.
It wasn’t long until we were on the tenth floor the complex. Harry and I look for my apartment door number, and finally, we find it. Its not at the direct end of the hall, sorta in the middle.
I open the door and there it is. My new life. Its nice. Its.. amazing. Its.. anything but perfect..
Because in order for my life to be perfect..
My heart has to be full….
And its not.
Notes
So.. sorry for breaking you guys and pissing you off, but this is just how it has to be.. sorry. :( SEQUEL COMING SOON. Once I hit fifty chapters, the sequel's coming! I already got the cover and everything ready. Might go fifty 1-3 gut I dunno yet.. guess we'll see
COMMMMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's finally over! Time for the sequellllll!
4/17/15