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Only Reason
Chapter 46: Is This The End?
Niall’s POV
I hear the sound of Taylor crying mixed with Tori’s whines and complaints of the noise he makes. I roll over onto my side, pulling the covers up to my neck as I bury the side of my head into the pillow, trying to get some sleep for once, but I know it won’t happen.
“Mama!’’ Tori yells, followed by Taylor’s screaming. ‘’Tori, Shut up!’’ Jana yells back. ‘’Make him stop!’’ Tori begs and pleads for it to happen, but we all know he’s still gonna cry. ‘’I can’t!’’ Jana yells back, too loud this time though.
‘’Please!’’ Tori asks. ‘’No!’’ Jana’s voice echoed in our big bedroom, drowning out the sound of screaming and crying. I try to just ignore it some more, but as aways, it never works. But its never gotten this loud before. Never. Never..
‘’I hate you!’’ Tori yells. ‘’Good, I hate you, too!’’ Jana yells back. That was uncalled for. And that’s when I knew the water works were gonna happen and flood the entire house. Tori hates being yelled at, especially by Jana. So I know her little heart is broken..
‘’I’m tellin’ Daddy!’’ Tori warns as I hear her footsteps, heavy and loud, get closer. She only stomps when she’s completely ticked off. And in this case, she is. ‘’Good, I don’t give a shit.’’ Jana says over Taylor’s crying.
I remove the covers from my upper half just by sitting up in the bed, ready to comfort my angel. She climbs on the bed and into my lap, holding my hand with both of her’s since they were so small. My other hand is on her waist as she sits with her back against my chest, staring down at our hands.
‘’You must think I’m scared of him or something?’’ Jana laughs out of shock, rolling her eyes as she finally gets Taylor to shut up. I ignore her comments as I glance over to see what time the clock says. 9:12 am. At least its not early.
Tori doesn’t say anything, she just sticks her tongue out at Jana once she’s not facing us any more. But to be honest, this shit has gone on for to damn long and its pissing me off extremely. I pick Tori up and sit her down beside me before I stand up, going to solve this shit.
I walk over to Jana, even though Tori’s begging for me to return to her, I don’t listen. I keep my ground and reach Jana. ‘’Don’t touch me.’’ She mumbles under her breath as I barely touch her waist with my hand.
I do as she wishes, and I don’t touch her. I put my hands by my sides and begin this conversation that we shouldn’t have in the first damn place.
‘’I’m tired of you two girls screaming at each other.. Its painful to watch and listen to.’’ I say, calm and collected. But of course, she’s not. ‘’I don’t give a shit what you say. I can do what I want to do. Why can’t you fucking see that already?!’’ She says, turning around to face me.
I glance down at Taylor, then back to Jana’s eyes. ‘’It would be best if we just.. settle this now and get it over with.’’ I insist, trying to be the good person and HELP here, but apparently the bitch don’t want my fucking help. What a fucking surprise..
“Fuck you.’’ She pushes past me, gently but purposely. I follow her as she goes into Taylor’s room to lie him back down since he was finally back to sleep. I’m like him right now, I couldn’t sleep with all the damn screaming either.
‘’You know, Jana… You can’t talk to a little kid that way.’’ I say as she exits the baby’s room and goes towards the stairs, ignoring my presence. ‘’My child. I can say what the hell I wanna say.’’ She sighs out in annoyance.
‘’Its my kid, too. You know.’’ I mumble as we reach the living room. Jana spins around just as I get off the stair case. Her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised. ‘’Oh really? Because last time I checked you-‘’ She stops herself and looks away before storming off towards the kitchen.
I follow her in anger. I know exactly what she was gonna say. ‘’I’m what, Jana?’’ I ask as I shut the kitchen door behind me, not wanting the wake the kids if we start screaming, even though we probably will wake them.
She doesn’t answer, she just stares at the bottle of water in her hand. ‘’Tell me..’’ I say, walking over to her and grabbing the bottle, pulling it away so she will pay attention to me for once.
She just looks at me, no expression on her face. ‘’Go ahead.. tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings either way, though.’’ I tell her, which isn’t the truth at all.
Jana’s eyes stare into mine. No emotions what so ever. ‘’You’re not Tori’s father.’’ She blankly says, straight to my face, no filter, no pain.. no nothing. I felt my heart break and shatter as it dropped to the pit of my stomach.
I was speechless and upset that she would say that to me. I stare back, feeling my eyes beginning to water up some. I knew this would happen. I knew I would fuck up and start crying when I’m trying to show I’m stronger than her. But about this topic.. I’m not.
You could argue with me about that. Anyone could. But I’ll tell you something.. No one will ever love that little girl as much as I do. That is my daughter. I put my name on her birth certificate. She has my last name.
She is mine. Only mine. I want to say this to Jana, but something inside of me just won’t let it out. But yet, I dunno what exactly to do about it.
“He is my Daddy.’’ I hear my sweet princess’s voice and I look over to the kitchen door. She stands there, inncocent and sweet like always. Her arms behind her back as she twists lightly, staring at the ground. ‘’Tor..’’ Jana’s voice barely lets anything else escape.
I stare at Tori’s little eyes as they wonder over to me. Her beautiful, precious face covered in tears and sweat from the screaming and crying moments ago. From the corner of my eye I see Jana doing the same as me, staring in shock that she was the there the whole time.
“Why you say that, Mama?’’ She asks, walking over to us. But she stops to grab my hand instead of getting any closer to Jana. I squeeze her hand tight, trying to comfort her. ‘’This is my Daddy…’’ Tori mumbles lightly. I glance at Jana, her eyes on me.
I look down to see Tori staring up at me. ‘’Right, Daddy?’’ She says, raising her eyebrows. I nod gently, not too sure what to do right now. ‘’I love my Daddy.. and my Mama.. and my Mama and Daddy love each’ther too, right?’’ she adds, looking up at me then over to Jana.
But then.. the most horrible thing happens in a moment like this. I see Jana shrug gently as she pulls of her ring and grabs my wrist, opening my hand. I stare at the palm of my hand just as she places the ring in my hand and closes it into a fist for me.
‘’I don’t know Tori.. I really don’t know…’’ Jana says before she walks away.. I open my hand and stare at the amazing diamond ring Tori and I picked out almost a year ago. Jana should be holding this. Wearing this…
I guess this… is the end of us? But.. I don’t know..
Notes
don't worry, this isn't the last chapter. A few more to go then the sequel. I might do one or two more then an epilouge, not sure yet!!
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It's finally over! Time for the sequellllll!
4/17/15