Harry's POV

Everything was perfect. It just all felt so natural and well, amazing. I thought I was going to miss London and the rest of the musical industry. I thought I was gonna miss Sophia, but I didn't. I was worried that when she comes to visit me in a week, that she'd say how much she'd missed me and that I wasn't able to say it back. But, I wasn't even thinking of her at that moment, all I could think about was Eloise. Eloise. Her name made me smile.
"Lad's on tour!" Louis chirped.
"Whey!" Liam joined along with Niall. I couldn't help but follow their lead. The guys were a laugh. I noticed Zayn sitting in the corner of the hotel room, he looked angry, infuriated more like. I'd seen him during many of his mood swings: upset, hurt, angry, pained. But somehow, this was different and it kind of saddened me to see it.
"What's up, Z?" I asked, chilled, because we weren't soppy with each other. Not unless we needed to be. He snapped out of his separate world and locked eyes with me.
"Oh," he blinked a few times, I'm guessing he was trying to assure his presence. "Nothing mate, just a bit tired. Trying to get used to the time difference and what-not." he lied.
"Dude." I sighed.
"What?" he was becoming more blunt
"Do you need me to get soppy with you? I'll do it!" I winked.
"No," I took a step closer. "Piss off, Harry." I took another step further. "I swear to God if you don't fuck off I-" I pounced on him and jumped on his knee. I was not light. I gave him a gentle 'noogie' on his hair until he hurled me off.
"Tell me what's bothering you." I laughed.
"Urgh. Why?"
"Because bottling up your feelings doesn't work." slightly soppy, but not at its fullest.
"No, I mean why do you have to be so needy?"
"Must be genes."
"Must be."
"So what's up you absolute cock?" I decided to throw him an insult, just to show I was back to normal and no soppiness was being used, just yet.
"A little this, a little that." he muttered.
"Don't make me noogie you again!"
"That sounds like some kind of sex position." I laughed but calmed myself down because I could tell this was going to be a serious conversation.
"C'mon bro." I pleaded.
"It's just that girl." he began.
"Which one?"
"I don't know her name." he exhaled slowly, looking at his feet.
"Eloise?" Zayn shrugged.
"The one who has long, brunette locks. With blue eyes. Eyes that look like they've been hurt." Okay, so we were getting deep. I knew he meant Eloise, because who couldn't get lost in her eyes, but the other girl had brunette hair and blue eyes too, so I decided to ask further.
"The one with a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Hmm."
"What?" he snapped his face up at me, concerned.
"Nothing," but it wasn't nothing, because I wanted to be the only one who laid their eyes on her and I didn't want to compete with Zayn. But why was I talking about competing when I hadn't even spoken to the girl properly, and I didn't even like her; I couldn't. She just had this grasp over me. Besides, I had Sophia. Sophia, yes. My girlfriend. "her name's Eloise." Zayn nodded.
"I don't know."
"Don't know what?" I asked, sharply. I was intrigued. I didn't really like that he'd noticed her over everyone else.
"She just reminds me of someone." Zayn bit his bottom lip. What? I wasn't expecting that. An angel maybe? That was too cheesy, even for Zayn.
"Who?" I said slowly, because he was opening up so much to me and I didn't want to lose him now.
"It doesn't matter."
"But it does matter. And you know it does. I know it does." I shot him a sympathetic smile, hoping it would reassure him to carry on.
"It won't make sense to you, Harry." But it didn't need to. I just wanted him to talk to me. We were all like brothers, even me and Zayn, but he never seemed to tell me anything. Not with depth and meaning anyway.
"C'mon, man. You know I'll understand. We're brothers, no matter what. Yeah?" That was soppy. Zayn carefully nodded, now fiddling with his nails.
"She reminds me of my ex-girlfriend."
"Geor-"
"No," he cut me off. "You never met her. She was my first love. Like, I lost my virginity to her."
"Oh." I simply said. I wasn't entirely sure what to say to that.
"She broke my heart pretty badly." he coughed, to try and clear the shakiness in his voice.
"What did she do?" I half-smiled, showing him that I was hear for him and that I was listening.
"I met her when I was 16. It's quite a cute story really," I noticed him smile a little bit, while he was reminiscing, before returning to his original state as if he'd remember that it was not in fact, a happy story. "We both went jogging through the same park every morning, at precisely 7:35am. I bumped into her once and I apologised...

Zayn's Flashback

"I'm so sorry!" I panicked, as I nearly knocked the poor girl over. She was beautiful though. So god damn beautiful with her pearl blue eyes and long, brunette locks. Two ginger strands were located in her fringe; they had fallen out her ponytail. She looked so innocent and young.
"That's okay," she smiled reassuringly. "Hey, haven't I met you before?"
"No," I grinned like a baby. Because we'd never met, but she remembered my face. She knew that we'd jogged past each other every morning. That was enough for me to be happy.
"Oh okay."
"Do you mind if I jog with you?" I asked politely, hoping with all my heart that she'd say yes. And she did.

Since then we jogged with each other every day. Exchanging life stories, smiling, giggling. It was amazing...at first."
"And then what happened?" This story had captured me and found a place within my heart. I brushed my brown curls behind my ear to signal that they were ready to receive any information.
"It was 6 months later. and we were officially a 'couple'. For some reason she just, turned on me. Like, she'd snap at me all the time and accuse me of doing bad stuff to her. Everything possible. She told me I'd been sneaking around with other girls and offering them all the things that I used to offer her. That wasn't true. I would never ever do that to someone like her. I begged and begged and begged her to forgive me, but she wouldn't listen. I was apologising for something I hadn't done, and it hurt, a lot. She didn't trust me anymore. I had no idea where it had all come from and it broke me. I cried all the time, I did anything and everything I could to make it up to her and she wouldn't let me in. She wouldn't talk to me," I saw Zayn swallow back the lump as he imagined the exact thing over. It pained me to see him like his. His eyes were glazed over and his face was pale. "She shut me out. It was horrible to go through that when I was 16. And eventually, she dumped me. All because she thought I'd done all these things I hadn't. And I knew I hadn't. And I couldn't work out why she didn't believe me."
"Oh Za-" I started but he cut me off.
"But last year I got a call from her. Four years it took her to come clean. Four fucking years." his tone turned from sadness to anger, although I could still see he was hurt.
"Come clean?" I started to worry.
"She explained everything...

Zayn Flashback

"Hello?"
"Hi."
"Sorry who is this? Did Niall give my number out to fans again?" I chuckled, because I didn't care. I loved talking to fans, without them there would be no me. No One Direction.
"Er, I don't know. No, I-I mean...it's Hollie." she stammered out.
"H-Hollie?" my voice cracked.
"I just wanted to tell yo-I mean I can't live with this gu-I can't hide this from you." she kept correcting herself.
"What do you mean?" I asked nervously, not sure if I actually wanted to know the answer.
"I cheated on you." she blurted out. Those four words spun in my head. I couldn't do anything with myself, I'd forgotten how to act. I just froze, on the phone. It took her four years to say four bloody words, but somehow they affected me pretty damn hard. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't bare to admit something like that to such a nice guy like yo-" My jaw clenched, but I was no longer frozen.
"You couldn't bare to tell such a 'nice guy' like me but you were able to live with making me feel so shit about myself. As if I'd hurt you. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but I still tried to make it up to you. I still did everything to make sure you knew that you were my princess but it killed me whenever I did because I knew you didn't trust me anymore. When actually, you used my guilt as a free ticket out of our relationship. Our relationship that meant so fucking much to me. You broke me. Physically and mentally. I was a fuck up. Do you really think it's acceptable to call me four years later to clear your conscience, just to make it more difficult for you to fit your head through all your big ass doors!" I was screaming now, my throat felt dry and raspy.
"But you're not a fuck up, look at you now and look at me now." she said, ignoring everything else I had had shouted down the phone, Her voice was still so calm and it aggravated me. What. A. Bitch.
"I don't want to look at you! I don't ever want to give you my time of day again. I don't want to imagine your face, I don't want to remember all those times I was apologising to you, when you should have been begging on your knees for my forgiveness. I don't want you in my life ever again, and I don't want to know you anymore. Bitch." I so nearly put the phone down, but she managed to get another four words to escape her mouth before I got the chance.
"We've got a daughter." What. My head was rushing. What the fuck was this? I really didn't know how to react. But I was way too mad to think about it because before I knew it, I had replied.
"Sure it isn't his?" and hung up.

I've not spoken to her since. I thought for ages about how her two different four word sentences killed me, but how mine probably killed her most. Sure it isn't his? Wow, even I knew that was cold." I really didn't know how to reply to that. Zayn has a 5 year old daughter? What the fuck? Where was I when all of this happened? Why hadn't he told anyone about it? Had he told people about it and excluded me? So many questions were plunging into my head, but I just needed to ask one.
"You have a daughter?"
"I did. Well I thought I did," now I was confused, but he looked as if he was going to continue so I didn't say anything. "I might have hung up and acted like I didn't care about her, my 'supposed' daughter not Hollie, so I decided to follow her to school once. I pretended I was there to give a talk. Because when you're a part of One Direction they kind of let you do anything you want. The teachers I mean. I'm a well-known singer and that would look good on their school record. I identified which girl it was and walked over to her. Before you ask how I knew which one she was, Hollie had sent me a photo. I didn't ask her too. Anyway, so I kneeled next to this little girl. Stunning she was. She had lovely blue eyes like her mum. I tugged one of her hairs out and then left. I got a DNA test and BAM. It actually wasn't mine." Zayn was yanking at his hair, re-enacting the moment he pulled the little girls hair out, I suppose. "It hurt even more to know that. When I said what I said before, I didn't mean it. I just wanted to hurt her like she hurt me but she actually wasn't sure. Sure it isn't his?" I really didn't know what to do or say. That was intense, a new level of intense. Zayn was sobbing now and I nearly was too. It was awful. I scampered over by his side and wrapped him in a tight hug.
"It's gonna be okay." I said.
"It's not. Because Eloise resembles her so much. And whenever I see her it gives me an entire range of emotions. And I want to hit her, but I can't, because she's not Hollie. My mind is all over the place, what should I do Harry?" he pleaded.
"It's only a month." I reassured.

But a lot can happen in a month.

A month was a long time.

Notes

Damnnn, this chapter is deep...
Long too :)))
tell me what you think :)(:
-N x