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The Direction of Fate

Carnaval de la Mort

(Author's Note: This chapter contains a scene that is recommended for mature readers. Enjoy anyway!)
I woke to the smell of fresh linen, and my body moved appreciatively on the soft mattress. I rolled over to see Harry's curls peeking over the mound of sheets and blankets, his eyelashes resting gracefully on his cheeks as he slept. Quiet puffs of air escaped his lips and I so desperately wanted to kiss him in this beautifully vulnerable state.
"Harry," I whispered, sliding my fingers under the duvet until my hand settled on his bare abdomen. I traced the hollow of his hips and the hair trailing from his belly button to his sweatpants until he stirred, letting out a soft sigh. Eventually his eyes fluttered open, the two green orbs of light pouring into the already morning-drenched bedroom.
"Good-morning, beautiful," he murmured huskily, rolling onto his side so we were both facing each other. I smiled and slunk under the covers, and he followed. Together we entangled in the sheets, playfully wrestling with our feet until our bodies met in the middle. Harry cupped my jaw and kissed me lightly, and though I was consciously aware that I probably had morning breath, I couldn't resist kissing him back, and he didn't seem to mind.
"What have you got planned for us today?" I asked as he trailed his finger up and down my side.
"There's a carnival on today down at Hyde Park if you'd like that," he smiled. "But not before breakfast - I'm starving."
I nodded and kissed him again as we shared another moment together before heading down to the breakfast bar.
Last night we ate at the hotel restaurant, and I felt so underdressed in my sweater and jeans, but the quiet compliments between conversations that Harry gave me made all the self-consciousness slip away. I'd offered to pay for my meal but Harry refused. It wasn't like I couldn't anyway when I only paid a minimal amount of the rent and I'd saved a heap of money- not to mention the cheque I got from Noah and Lottie for my birthday. Yet, I tried to ignore the fact that Harry was rich enough to buy me whatever meal I desired and just accepted it as a chivalrous gesture.
Harry was so adorable when he ate. Even now as we were sitting on both sides of a cushioned booth, sharing waffles and pancakes indulged with strawberries in the most romantic way possible, he always let his tongue catch the food before his mouth closed. A drop of cream graced his bottom lip and I caught it with mine, to Harry's surprise, but he didn't complain to it.
"God, I could get used to this," Harry said, eyes still closed in bliss as he savoured my kiss.
"Can't we just stay forever?" I whispered, tucking a stray curl behind his ear. His goofy little grin danced on his face as he contemplated my proposition. "I could definitely do forever."
We finished up breakfast and got ready for our day out. It was midday and the pastel sky was painted with minimal grey clouds, so there was no threat of the carnival being ruined by rain. I peeled off my sweats and jumper I'd worn down to breakfast and replaced it with a summery navy blue dress with daisies painted in pattern and a beige cardigan to pair. My hair fell in long, wavy strands over my shoulders and cascaded down my spine, only to have Harry come up behind me and move it aside to kiss the back of my neck. As we stood in front of the large mirror placed in the corner of the room, Harry did a once over and breathed out.
"Where's did that girl in the Parkway Drive concert t-shirt go?" he chuckled over my shoulder. It was funny how much I'd changed since we first met. My hair used to be jet black and layered short, but now it was grown out and naturally brown, and I could hardly remember the time where my Midnight Black eyeliner was my identifier. Whom I once considered the ‘New Ellie' was finally just Ellie, and I didn't want it any other way.
"You look rather handsome for a park trip," I grinned, turning around and holding Harry by his collar. He had on a light grey tessellated dress shirt unbuttoned low to reveal his cross pendant, black skinny jeans and brown leather boots, and to top it off a fedora that held back his curls. Handsome was an understatement; he was an angel.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked, squeezing my hand. I had been told earlier that fans and paparazzi would harass us once we left the hotel, but I accepted it with a smile and kept it at the back of my mind until it actually happened. Finally, we were making for the doors in the lobby, and nervousness brewed as I saw figures waiting outside.
Harry held my hand tightly as we emerged into the sunlight, and into the lenses of cameras.
"Harry!"
"Harry can you please sign this?"
"Harry can I have a photo?"
"Harry look this way!"
"Is that your girlfriend, Harry?"
"Harry is that Ellie?"
"Why are you with her?"
I bit back the urge to hiss at these whining, jealous little girls in shorts and tank tops too underdressed for the weather. Harry didn't even flinch as he smiled and took photos and signed papers and humoured the paps. I still couldn't understand how calm and professional he appeared whilst doing this. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from shutting them up and ignoring them. During the whole process Harry didn't let go of my hand, and it was somewhat comforting knowing he was still there with me, despite the distractions. Soon after, Harry tugged my arm and we walked down the street, leaving the girls and paps calling out, but only some continued to follow us all the way to Hyde Park where the carnival was buzzing in all its glory.
"You alright?" Harry mumbled in my ear as we made our way through the entrance, some still lurking from a short distance behind us. I squeezed Harry's hand and grinned. "You underestimate my level headedness." But I had nothing on Harry. Not one flicker of aggravation triggered him, and he has been doing it for years. I laughed to myself as I remembered the not-so-patient Harry that had hardly any tolerance for me when we first met.
The carnival was already packed with people walking in both directions down the thick pavement that divided food and game stalls on either side. Harry and I shared a bag of sweets as we battled against each other on ring tosses, laughing clowns and a Hi Striker. The last one deemed rather difficult against Harry's strength and my...lack of. I swung the hammer down on the base and watched as the lever rose up and slowed around the middle of the tower, and I huffed- to Harry's amusement. He took over and with a fast swing, he brought down the hammer and the lever soared to the top, whacking the bell and a celebratory chime accompanied his success.
"Yeah!" Harry cheered as he fisted the air, his smile beaming. He glanced at me and noticed my scowl, and he began to chuckle. "Babe, fair is fair-"
"Just because your ego has blown, doesn't mean you can use pet names on me, babe," I said, punching his upper arm. This was the third game he'd won and I was getting a little flustered.
"If my ego has blown, then why am I giving you the prize I won?" Harry held out the giant stuffed dolphin with a grin.
"Oh, I'll just add it to the two other stuffed toys you've won and I have to carry around," I said sarcastically, taking the dolphin and holding it under my arm alongside a smaller ladybug and lion. "It's not very romantic anymore."
Harry caught my arm as I went to continue on our way through the carnival and tilted my chin up to kiss me lightly. I didn't care that there was a chance people were watching us; I couldn't help but savour the sweetness that Harry's lips graced upon mine.
The day escaped us as we watched the sun dip low in the sky to create a dusky orange-pink atmosphere from our seat on the Ferris wheel. I rested my head on Harry's neck with his arm draped over my shoulders, and in that moment I could have fallen asleep in complete serenity. I imagined my life if I hadn't come to England, if I hadn't met Harry. I wouldn't be as happy or content within myself as I was in this moment. I felt like the girl I was before my peers distorted my image and self-respect. Harry is to thank for making me feel beautiful, but he was only a small portion of it. It was up to me to change my life, and I believed that I could do it so hard that it became real. The resentment I had for my parents obliterated, and I couldn't thank them more for making the decision I was too naïve and ignorant to make. When I got home from this trip, I wanted to call them just to remind them that I loved them.
"Don't fall asleep on me," Harry said into my hair. I shuffled so I could look up at him, and I kissed him gently and only once, teasing. To be honest, it was more of a tease for me.
We got off the ride and it was just beginning to turn to twilight. Most of the crowd had dwindled down to a few still wandering the carnival, and Harry and I joined them, hand in hand.
"Ellie, look!" Harry pointed towards a tent with the title ‘Fitzchivalry's Foreseer' on a wooden plaque. "A fortune teller."
"Really," I deadpanned.
"Oh come on, it'll be a laugh," he said, leading me towards the curtained opening. "You go first, I'll go next."
I sighed and said, "Fine, but just remember I think this is all bullshit."
I opened the tent doors and my senses were drowned in burning incense and musk. Behind a desk with cards laid out was a mature woman with wispy black hair streaked with silver under a gold headpiece.
"Welcome, I am Fitzchivalry. What can I do for you?"
"Um, how much would it cost for my mind to be...read?" I hesitated, feeling the words slip stupidly off my tongue.
"Child, I cannot read your mind, but I can do I mild telepathy session with you for fifteen pounds."
I gritted back the bite of the price, but nodded nevertheless. I had my complete doubts that this would actually work, but just like Harry said- it'd be a laugh.
I handed my money over and sat down in front of Fitzchivalry as she leaned her slim fingers to the sides of my head, closing her eyes. We sat in absolute silence as her eyeballs whizzed behind their sockets and her lips quivered in a silenced mumble.
"My child, I cannot enter your mind if you are resisting me," she muttered, her eyes still closed and strained with focus.
"I'm relaxing," I said. I wasn't trying to stop what she was doing, but there was a sickening feeling that maybe something-or someone-else was.
"Your boyfriend," she mumbled almost incoherently, "why are you so fearful of him?"
"I'm not-?"
"He is the one who is yelling, who wants me to stay out of your head. I'm being blocked. Child, there is something dark inside of you."
I almost choked up. It was him, resurfacing for the first time since my birthday.
Fitzchivalry continued to mutter incoherently until she said, "You are very ill. If you do not seek a cure, your direction of fate is black."
"What does that mean?!" I yelped, disconnecting my mind from the fortune teller.
"I cannot tell you any more. It was hard enough unlocking the doors to your mind, but know this: I see the boy you love being held responsible for the day you die."
"This is a joke!" I snapped, venom slipping from my tongue. "I humour your profession with my money and you think you can predict my death? What did you say to the last person who walked in here? They're pregnant with triplets?!"
"Believe what you want, child. I foretell, but it's up to you to take what I say or remain ignorant to your last breath."
"Well, ignorance is bliss," I spat, my own fury surprising me. I'd never gotten this mad at another person before, but I guessed I'd never come across anyone who's said my boyfriend was going to kill me. How sick was that? "And I think you should get a better job instead of scaring money out of people."
I stormed out of the tent, and in my haste, I clipped a wide-eyed and surprised Harry on the shoulder, almost knocking a hotdog from his hand. "Woah! Ellie-? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine!" I said, but my flushed cheeks and large eyes said otherwise.
"You don't look fine. What happened in there?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
I contemplated telling him. Perhaps just blurting it out loud now could ease my tension; the only problem was I still hadn't told him that the pills stopped working and that the nightmares were back. What truly stopped me was that she had seen the demon in my mind, and other than Harry, no one knew about it. Probably what frightened me most was the fact that I didn't believe her when she said the boy I love would be the cause of my death until I realised that she clearly could not distinguish the difference between the Harry of my reality and the one who enjoyed watching me suffer. And if that were the case, I really couldn't ignore the possibility that my inner demon could crawl into a weak spot in my mind and end it all.
"Nothing-she's just bonkers and I'm really sceptic when it comes to this stuff," I waved it off, and thankfully Harry bought it. "Can we just go?"
Harry nodded cautiously, eating his hotdog wordlessly as I walked a step in front of him. My stomach was riddled with the sickening replay back in the tent, and I couldn't even hold Harry's hand without him noticing how hard mine was shaking.
We got back to the hotel and once we were in the room, Harry said, "What did she tell you?"
I couldn't even look at him. I stood across the room, back facing towards him and eyes staring at the wall. "She saw you...from my nightmares." The words stung like venom and I felt tears develop. "She thinks they're going to kill me."
"Are you still scared of them? Because you've been taking the sleeping pills and they've been working-"
"No," I said, barely audible. "No, they haven't."
Silence captured the room as I continued to not face him.
"Since when?" Harry asked finally, his dread-filled voice breaking my heart.
"My birthday," I confessed, and a hand caught mine to turn me around. I didn't want to look at him, but he was so close and I was closer to breaking down.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice wasn't angry, rather worried.
"Because I didn't want to ruin this!" I said, flinging my hands in the air. "For once I couldn't be happier and I knew that you would just worry and I wanted to be here with you and we could deal with all the shit later."
"Ellie, c'mere," Harry hushed, pulling me into an embrace and I choked back my sobs with his shirtfront. He sat us down on the end of the bed and added, "Fortune tellers are bonkers, anyway."
I couldn't help but laugh in frustration. "She's supposed to be psychic! How could she not separate between the figure in my dream and the person I love?"
I didn't register it until it left my mouth. My face slackened in sudden shock, and Harry's face slowly fell. "You love me?" he blinked.
We were caught in this static gaze, and he looked at me with speechless bright eyes that darted over every inch of mine. I didn't even know how to react in this situation. I just told him I loved him...out loud. I knew I loved him, I was so in love with Harry that it hurt, but I never thought of saying it verbally yet. The sickening fear as the silence dragged on got more intense and nauseating as the realisation of the situation soaked in. The tears that I had managed to maintain found a new reason to resurface, and my bottom lip wobbled in front of the boy who didn't say it back.
"Ellie," Harry whispered quickly upon noticing the bottled tears, his almost patronising voice making me want to run from the room and let them out. I thought I feared my nightmares, but really I was scared of loving someone and not being loved in return.
"I'm sorry-I understand if you don't yet-" I blubbered hastily, turning away from him in an attempt to hold my crumbling composure. Humiliation and my opened heart collided together and crushed upon impact until I could barely breathe. Harry's hand held my cheek and angled my face back towards him. The corner of his lips slowly turned up and when he parted them, a breathless chuckle escaped, and he shook his head. "No, I am insanely in love with you."
Once again, I didn't register it until his voice hung in the air, the words thick and heavy and real. The horrible feeling boiling in my stomach was replaced with a new sensation, something I'd never experienced. I was loved.
I took Harry's face delicately, feeling everything under my palm. He stared at me wondrously as I touched the light stubble along his jawline, tracing my finger over his plump lips. He licked them as I moved to his curls, ringing my fingers in the loops and leaning forward until I could feel his heavy breathing on my face. Our noses met, brushing together while our lips barely touched. "Then I am insane too," I whispered, pressing my lips on his in deep passion. I had all these new emotions swirling around my head, and on top of the previous feelings, it got too overwhelming.
I moved to sit in his lap without breaking our kiss, in which Harry groaned against my mouth and kneaded one of my cheeks with his hand. In response, I flexed my hips hard into his jeans, my dress riding up over the tops of my thighs so the sensation glided over my small lace knickers, and my body shuddered.
"Oh my god," Harry moaned between my lips. I thrust down harder and felt him hardening beneath the constraints of the denim. He stroked along the sides of my thighs, my dress bunching up higher until he took the hem and pushed it up my torso, revealing my black underwear. Continuing to kiss, Harry skilfully got my dress over my head and tossed it to the floor, and I was bared before him. He stopped kissing to look down at my body, breathing out a rasping groan. "My mind has not done justice," he croaked, his fingers gripping my hipbones firmly. He pinched the hooks of my bra apart with complete ease and kissed my breasts as the fell from their confines, and I arched my back to allow the sensation to capture me. Every second that passed and my body was building up, the desire almost unbearable. I needed more of him, to not only feel his skin but his soul.
"I want you," I declared suddenly, and Harry paused to look up at me.
"Will this be your first time?" he asked, licking his lips. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I bashfully nodded. I wasn't oblivious to the fact that Harry had been with many women before our relationship, and that did intimidate me a little.
"That's okay, I will be gentle," he whispered reassuringly, kissing me once more, shuffling us up the bed and turning me over so I was on my back with my head on the pillows. Harry lost his shirt in the process and came down to rest his elbows on the mattress, kissing my collarbones and trailing his lips back over my breasts, sucking the nubs and making me squirm.
"Harry," I moaned. "That...that feels so- oh my-"
His lips trapped my words as he mingled his tongue with mine and his hand moved down to the front of my underwear, stroking a finger back and forth over the material.
Harry chuckled amusedly as my body quivered. "You're wet already. Has anyone touched you like this before?"
My voice faltered, and I whimpered, "N-no."
"I'm going to make you feel good," he said, and I couldn't help but tremble as Harry's fingers skilfully worked my bundles of nerves to a new, incredible high. I'd never felt like this before, but judging by Harry's actions, he knew exactly what to do to make me feel it. Just as my stomach began to tighten and warmth stirred in my lower region, Harry took his fingers away, and the feeling settled, almost unfulfilled.
"Are you torturing me?" I gasped, my legs still shaking. I watched as Harry shuffled out of his jeans until he was left in his briefs, and the bulge in the material looked painfully constricted. Looked like I wasn't the only one being tortured.
I couldn't help but stare marvellously at him as he stood over me, his toned muscles flexing softly with every hoarse breath that left his mouth. I'd been nervous about intimacy before, but something about looking into Harry's frosty green eyes, the eyes of my lover, made everything okay. I trusted him, I needed him, and I loved him.
Harry grabbed his wallet from the pocket of his discarded jeans and pulled out a small silver packet and it all became very real. A part of him was going to be a part of me; mind, body and soul. In the process of climbing under the thick sheets, Harry removed his briefs and I gulped at the size of his girth. I knew sex was painful the first time, but I really didn't have any idea what I was going to experience. That was until Harry entered me slowly, whispering that he loved me as my body stretched to unfamiliar limits. I couldn't deny the pain of discomfort, and I hissed back the sting in my eyes.
"Tell me when you're ready, and I'll start moving," he whispered, kissing the corners of my eyes where the tears started to fall. I nodded carefully and croaked "Now," and Harry began to shift his body slowly and delicately in rhythm with my fragile one. The pain subsided and was replaced with a heated and impassioned fervour that had me crying out Harry's name in desperation. His heavy breath and mild grunts brought it's own unique pleasure, and the bundle of nerves that he had built up before came stirring to new peaks.
"Fuck," Harry kept repeating into my shoulder, thrusting into me and knocking the breath from my lips. I gently stroked the back of his head, entwining my fingers and whispering into his hair that he was loved. And with that, he made love to me until our bodies trembled and our skin glistened with heated sweat.

Notes

I WROTE A SAUCY CHAPTER OMG. (and I enjoyed it???)
Ellie confessed her love for Harry! What do you guys think of this chapter? ;)
AND she finally told him about the dreams! Do you think the fortune teller is crazy or is there some truth behind her predictions?
I'd love to know your thoughts. I should start writing the next chapter soon. xxooxoxox

Comments

GREAT!!! I don't think they should stay away but it's up to you.
:)
OMG wow i loved this chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 more soon love
I love it!! I kinda feel bad for Oliver, though...
It's soo good!
I think they should wear off, but when Harry's there.
:)
Plz update!
:)
When will the next update come? Please keep writing <33