Just as Much

Niall's POV

“I think I really messed up.” I sit down next to Zayn in the green room.

“What do you mean, you messed up? You went on one date!” Zayn takes a bite of his cookie and leans back.

“I brought up marriage.” I mutter, hoping he doesn't hear me, the others are somewhere around the studio, it's just Zayn and I here.

“You what?” He chokes on the cookie and I give him my bottle of water to drink. “What do you mean you asked her about marriage?” He wipes the corner of his mouth. “You haven't even asked her to be your girlfriend.” Zayn looks at Erica like one of his sisters, he's very protective of her.

“I just brought it up. It wasn't like I was asking her to marry me. I mean, not yet anyway.”

“Niall! Slow down. You're going to scare her off.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sets it on the couch.

“You got engaged to Perrie after not that long.” I remind him.

“I know, but we were on the same page. If Erica has reservations about marriage or doesn't want to marry, you don't bring it up!” He rolls his eyes and unlocks his phone.

“I didn't ask her to marry me, I just wanted to know if she wanted to get married in the future.” I remind him calmly.

“Well, how did she take it? Hopefully better than I just did.” He asks, changing his tune.

“She was surprised. Said she didn't want to marry until she was finished with at least her Master's degree.”

“And then?”

“I don't know, I just felt this awkward tension between us. I didn't really know how to fix it, I still don't really know.” I mess with my shirt, pulling it down.

“Just relax. If I know Erica, and she said it doesn't bother her, it doesn't bother her. You're making it all up in your head.” He rubs my shoulder briefly and pushes me to the side. “Never thought I'd find the day when Niall is coming to me and asking me for relationship advice. Especially about Erica.” He laughs.

“Hahah. So hilarious.” I roll my eyes and start stand.

“Oh come one Niall. I'm just kidding.” He smiles. “Is she coming tonight?”

“Yeah, I put her on the list and Vince stayed behind to bring her here.” Now I know how the other guys feel, it's not just about me now, I'm looking after her too, I'm more worried about her getting hurt then myself.

“Well I'm just glad you got things figured out because I was tired of Erica ignoring my phone calls.”

“Guys.” We both look up to see a woman with a mic and clipboard knocking on the door. “You're on in five.” She tells us and walks away.

“Well, here goes nothing.” I hop up, Zayn, a little more sluggish than usual, follows me.

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We're ushered off when the filming ends, waiting to find news of the after party, as there is always a Saturday Night Live after party. Last time we didn't really enjoy it well enough as we were “young” and didn't really know anyone. Now we're more comfortable with ourselves and others so it doesn't bother us a bit. Plus this being a short trip Eleanor and Sophia didn't come with us so Louis and Liam will actually be joining us instead of heading back to the hotel to be mole rats.

“Hey guys.” Erica stands from the couch in the green room when we all come in.

“Erica!” Zayn literally pushes me out of the way to give her a hug. I hide my annoyance, I didn't get her all to myself yesterday and this morning so I can't say much.

“Zayn!” She laughs as he puts her down from the hug. “You guys were great! I think you should keep those sweatsuits. Very flattering.” She pats Zayn's shoulder, not retaining her laughter one bit.

“Hi Louis, Harry, Liam.” She hugs each one quickly and comes to a stop by my side. I don't say anything, just bump her side casually, I catch her blush slightly but keep her composure.

“Oh come on just kiss her already, we all know you want to Niall.” Louis crosses his arms waiting for me to respond. He can be such a tosser sometimes.

“Right, well lets head out.” I ignore him and the fact that the room suddenly fills with laughter. I take Erica's hand and start leading her out.

“It's okay Niall, he's just sad he won't be getting it in tonight because Eleanor isn't here.” Erica can't stop herself from laughing. I notice Louis has gotten quiet while the others laugh even more, even I can't keep it in.

“We'll meet you guys there.” I yell over my shoulder, more or less pulling Erica along. I'm being selfish, I know it, but I don't care.

“Wait for me!” Zayn runs and catches up to us. This time I don't hide my grimace as he takes the spot along the other side of Erica. Of course she doesn't notice and links arms with him. I have to let it go though because I don't need to act jealous as they're just friends. “So you enjoyed the show?” Zayn asks as we wait at the elevator.

“Oh I loved it. It's quite an experience to see.” She looks at him but squeezes my hand, letting me know that she's still here, thinking of me. She's always so considerate, she knows that to calm me without even trying. We fight the crowd outside, Erica tries to pull away from me a few times but my death grip on her fingers prevent it. I know she just doesn't know what to do or want us out there yet because she's not like that but I want people to know. I want people and fans to know that I've finally got the girl.

The ride back to the hotel is short and quiet. We all speak a few times but Zayn returns a call from Perrie so the noise of their chatter fills the car as Erica just snuggles next to me.

“So you're coming with us to the party?” I speak in a hushed tone, kissing her temple, it looks like Zayn is having enough problems hearing Perrie, where ever she is at the moment.

“Um, I don't really know. I'm so tired, I don't really know anyone other than you all, I don't want to be clinging to you all night. I think I'll just stay back and you can go out.” My face falls and shoulders slump.

“Please Erica.” I whine, I'm trying my best sad voice just so she'll come.

“Niall. You'll have so much more fun there without me. Really, it's fine. Go and hang out with the guys tonight. We'll be leaving tomorrow anyway. We'll spend the whole day together tomorrow, just you and I.” She pats my thigh, leaving it there as I we pull towards the back of the hotel. I wanted her to come with us, I just want to show her off to be honest but if she doesn't want to, I'm not going to make her. I can't seem to let go of her hand as we take to the elevator inside and find our way to our room. I knew Erica would like this hotel. It's a bit historic, old bones as she calls it.

“Are you sure you don't want to come?” I ask one last time as I finish getting dressed, Erica draped over the bed in sweatpants, hair already pulled in a bun, glasses on, makeup off.

“Yeah. Sorry I'm a party pooper, I just walked around a lot today, got snacks for us for tomorrow and I don't know how much longer I can even stay awake.” She yawns and climbs under the covers, snuggling herself up.

“Maybe I shouldn't go. Just stay here with you.” I sit next to her on the bed, leaning back into her side, rubbing her neck.

“No, Niall. You should go, have fun.” She pushes me off her slightly and sits up, grabbing the back of my neck and pressing her lips roughly against mine. It catches me off guard at first but I'm soon responding to her touch, melting into her. She pulls away, leaving me wanting more. “I'll be sleeping when you return but feel free to wake me up.” She wipes her lip with her thumb and lets herself fall back on against the bed, stretching her arms out before turning to the side and curling up.

“Okay. I'll see you in a bit.” I stand, stretching and walking towards the door, looking back to her one last time. Her eyes meet mine and she blows me a kiss, winking. I slump just a bit, I should be staying but we have to at least make an appearance.

I can't take it anymore. It's been an hour since we've arrived and everyone is drinking. Shots and beer all around and I can't even handle the one drink I have in my hand. I've only had one, far from my usual but I don't want to be here.

“You know you can leave whenever.” Liam comes to my side, drink in hand.

“You don't think its that big of a deal?” I put my drink down on a nearby table and straighten up my jacket.

“Naw, you made an appearance, that's all that counts.” He sips another drink. “Go back to Erica, we all know you want to. If Soph wanted to stay behind I wouldn’t have left her side.” He smiles at me as I start saying good bye to everyone, anxious to get back to see her. I need her more than I realize.

I have Vince rushing through traffic as best as he can. Traffic in the city is a nightmare, and even worse on Saturday night around the holidays. I sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures with fans as he drops me off at the front of the hotel. A few have even asked me about Erica, they don't know her name and I avoid the subject, but I'm sure my smirk has given it away.

I anxiously wait, tapping my feet as I watch the elevator climb the floors, one by one, my annoying nervous habit of biting my nails creeping up on me. I'm all but running to the hotel room. I can't believe I even thought about leaving her here. Spending one second with her is better than a million star studded parties I can go to.

I quietly use my door key and peek my head inside, the room is dark, tv turned off. I see Erica sleeping, all bundled up, sheets tucked under her chin. I loosen my tie and throw it into the darkness, using my phone as a flashlight I find some clothes to change into, head to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.

I carefully climb into into bed next to her. “Erica.” I whisper, no movement comes from her. “Erica.” I say just a little bit louder.

“Mmm.” Is all I can hear from the other side of the bed.

“Erica, wake up.” I nudge her a little bit.

“What Niall?” She's tired. You can tell by how sharp her voice is.

“I want to talk to you.” She lets out a huff of breath and turns to face me, eyes still sleepy but she reaches her hand out to touch mine.

“Go for it.” She blinks her eyes several times to adjust, even if we're in the dark I can still see her. “You're back early.”

“Yeah, I was missing something.” I squeeze her hand and I see her smile. “So, I know it's still early, and we haven't had more then one date. But. Do you, do you?” I ask, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Relax Niall, just ask me what you want to ask me.” She brushes my cheek with the back of her hand.

“Do you want to be, like official? Official as in my girlfriend?” I mutter, still not finding the courage to ask with conviction. I have always felt as if this question was stupid, it makes me feel so juvenile. Her face gets flushed, even looking away for a moment.

“Yes.” I refrain from telling her I love her that very second. I've already scared the crap out of her enough. But I can't help but launch myself at her, kissing her with fury.

Notes

Hey everyone! Nice little Saturday off from updating, now I really need to write!! We won our exhibition match but it's always so exhausting, such a long day! Hope you all like the update, Niall second guesses himself quite a bit, but at least Zayn is there to help him out and calm him down. And Erica, she's not all up for the glitz and glamor of his life. :)

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! Also for everyone who has subscribed and voted, thanks a million!

Happy Sunday!

xoxox