Just as Much

Niall's POV

Her fingertips graze my thighs as were eating popcorn watching a film. I pause briefly as I hold my breath in, maybe she did it on accident. I shove more popcorn in my mouth, occupying my thoughts as I try to focus on the actors. I soon feel her whole palm inching further up my thigh, realizing she's not paying attention, looking at the scene. She keeps getting closer and closer and I can't take it anymore, I clear my throat.

“Erica.” I suddenly find my voice.

“Humm?” She looks at me and smirks.

“Nothing.” I try to relax but the proximity of her hand is causing my body to react in ways I can't control. I let out a deep breath when I feel her eyes on me.

“Niall.” Her voice low and sexy.

“Um, yeah?” My voice cracks, making me feel like an uncomfortable fifteen year old, suddenly embarrassed.

“I've been thinking.” She pauses and uses her fingertips to 'walk' towards my groin. “That maybe.” She stops her words again as her fingertips touch my ever hardening bulge. “We should take things further. You know, more than friends.” She turns herself so she's facing me instead of side by side by the couch.

“Is-is that so?” I try to act calm, but my nerves are raging.

“Yep.” She smiles at me, unzipping my pants and lightly rubbing against my shorts, my head tilting back against the couch. Just her fingers work magic. I feel her slight body weight against me, her lips find mine quickly as our sweet kiss turns to fire, her tugging on my bottom lip as she's suddenly fully sitting on my lap, the weight of her making me feel alive, fingers running through my hair. I couldn't stop her if I wanted to, not that I do. She pauses and climbs off my lap, pulling at my pants as I lift my hips and allow her to slip them off my body.

Her hands finding me, I lock eyes with her for a second as she licks her lips, making me try to remember to breath. She props herself on her knees and inches closer to my dick, moving her hair to the side. The anticipation of this moment building in my stomach as her mouth inches closer and closer.

“NIALL!” I jolt awake as the curtain from my bunk is ripped open. “Good morning!” Harry smiles at me as I rub my eyes. Asshole.

“You fucker. I was sleeping.” I try to pull the curtain back to darkness but Harry stops me.

“Come on, you've been moping around for weeks. We're in Italy, its gorgeous outside!” He reminds me, Harry is more of a morning person. Think that's why him and Louis get on so well, they're both morning people. I prefer sleeping.

It's been two weeks. We only have about two weeks until the Europe leg of the tour is over with and then two weeks off, and our last leg of the tour, the North American section. And I'm terrified to go to New Jersey and see Erica. Hell, I'm afraid to be in the same country as her.

I've texted her a few times but it's not the same. I see she reads them but then she takes sometimes hours to respond to me. I'll call her and she's short with me, hardly talking to me at all. I know I messed up. I've tried a million times to apologize to her for how I reacted the night before she left. It was not my intention to hurt her, I was trying to protect her but I know my actions were misconstrued. Sophia, Eleanor, Perrie, Lottie, Lou, Louis, Zayn, Liam, Harry, pretty much everyone has informed me of my mistake. At least they're not making fun of me, too much.

“I don't know why you're waking me up anyway. It's not like we can do anything.” I point out, the thousands of screaming girls only held back by a chain link fence prevent us from doing quite a bit. A sea of beautiful girls I can make scream with just raising my hand. It's incredibly empowering, but I only want one. One woman whose thousands of miles away, and has good reason to absolutely hate me.

“Because it's nice outside. And we have roof access so we can hide in the middle and breathe in this Italian air!” Always so damn chipper.

“Fine.” I spit out going back to my bunk to throw a shirt one and slip my trainers on, grabbing my sunglasses in the process. “Where is everyone else?” I ask, catching up with him, preparing my ears for a loud scream when the door opens.

“Liam and Louis are shopping with Sophia and Eleanor, and Zayn is hanging out with Caroline and her daughter in her hotel room. So that leaves you and me!” He grabs my shoulder and shakes it a bit as we make our way into the hotel and take the elevator to the top.

“Who else is up there?” This elevator is quite quick, I notice we're already up to the tenth floor.

“Mark, Paul, Calum, and Ashton. Michael and Luke are finishing up their workout.” I nod as we reach the top and Harry pulls out his key. “We have to take the steps to the the roof.” I follow him down the quiet hallway as we find the stairwell and open the door to the bright sunlight.

The guys already up here are sitting on cheap plastic chairs, chatting away in the sunlight. I laugh, the scene reminds me of Weekend at Bernies when they're sitting on the roof with a plastic kiddie pool. Shaking the thoughts out of my head I pull a lounge chair over to them and sit, listening to their conversation. Something about Rugby, I only really pay attention when they talk about Ireland, or when Erica talks about her crush on Danny Care, a massive man who plays scrum-half for England. Of course he's got dark hair, dark eyes, and is so in shape it's not even funny. Him just looking at me could probably break me. God, why does everything remind me of Erica!

“So Niall.” I turn my attention to Mark. “How's it going?” Mark has at least been sympathetic to my predicament this whole time. The others were good for a while, and now just give me shit every chance they get.

“Fine.” I reply. I'm not really in the mood for small talk at the moment. Just want to feel the sun on my face and get a little peace and quiet. Not that it ever really happens on tour but it's a nice thought.

“Gonna get a workout in today?” Mark asks me as I nod.

“My knee's been hurting today though so have to take it kind of light.” It's not really the truth but he doesn't know.

“Well then it's arm, back, and shoulder day!” He says cheerfully. Damn him. I pull my phone out and start looking through my tweets. Searching for Erica's name. No new tweets to study. I would know, she's the only person my notifications are turned on for. God, I really am pathetic. Love sick as Zayn calls it. I wish I could tweet her like a normal person, but if I send one thing, no matter how innocent it may be, she'll get ripped to shreds by everyone.

“What are you doing?” Ashton appears in my ear as I jerk to the side to see him.

“Just messing around on my phone.” I tell him, quickly leaving twitter.

“You were spying on Erica weren't you?” He accuses me.

“I wasn't.” Why am I lying so much? Can a guy just get some peace?

“I'll tweet her. She won't get as much hate if it comes from me.” They're always teasing. Ashton is terrible at it, ever since he met her, he's got it in for her. I know he does. He's even admitted it but I don't think Ashton is Erica's type. But who the hell am I to know. I ignore him, secretly plotting to myself to get him back whenever he has an infatuation with someone. I rest my phone on my chest as I sit and relax, trying to soak in the sun but my memory is still on Erica. I think back to that first phone call I had with her after she left. I was so nervous I was pacing back and forth on the hotel carpet.

“Hello?” I freeze at the sound of her voice. It's exactly how I remember it but I needed to hear it, it makes me feel alive.

“Hey, Erica.” I'm so nervous. I'm surprised she even answered when I called.

“What's up, what do you need Niall?” She's not short with me but I can only guess hearing my voice is not something she wanted it. She's too nice to ignore me though.

“Um, I was just wondering if you knew where my favorite shirt was?” I ask, stupid. The dumbest question I've ever asked. I could as her how things are going, tell her I'm sorry, tell her anything other than asking her where something is.

“Oh, you told me to donate it.” I know I did. I know I told her to put it in the pile.

“Well shit.” I try to act surprised. It was my favorite shirt, I don't know why I told her that.

“I asked you several times and you kept insisting to let it go.” I can hear the noise of the city around her, constant honking and people yelling.

“Right. I suppose I did.” I don't know why I'm literally getting upset about something I know I told her to do. I know it was one of her favorites too.

“Well, don't worry. I kept it anyway.” My eyes get wide as I'm suddenly excited. “I put it at the bottom of your trunk, under your socks.” My smile is massive right now, she's saved my day without even knowing it. I rush to my trunk and start throwing things out until I reach the bottom and spot the familiar worn, blue fabric.

“Erica this is amazing.” I pull it out like it's a fragile artifact.

“Well you're welcome, but I've got to go Niall, I'm with someone.” Of course she doesn't want to chat any further.

“Oh, okay, I'll talk to you later.” I say hopefully.

“Yeah, bye.” She hangs up the phone before I can even say goodbye to her.

I don't blame her for hanging up quickly. I'm just surprised she even answered in the first place. I'm still disapointed with myself, I can't seem to get out of this funk. Every time I've called her or texted her, I'm just reaching for things to say to her to keep things going but she doesn't keep things going. God I just miss her.

Notes

Updates TWO days in a row! And it's Friday! Like a win win. :)

Poor Niall, right? Well get used to him. Anyone not feel sorry for him?

Thank you so much for all the votes, comments, subscriptions, and reads! You all are amazing.

Happy FRIDAY!!

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