Good Intentions ⇼ Luke Hemmings

My stomach welted in knots and cramps as I walked down the hall, playing with the hems of my sleeves and biting my lip. Visiting hours were almost over, and Luke just woke up. I’d been alone for a good hour and a half, left to deal with my guilt and ignorance. I know that, come next week, our friend group will be back to normal and we’d forget everything had happened. But as for right now, I feel utterly and completely alone. The worst part is that I have no one to blame but myself. It’s all my fault.

“Hi.” My voice was low as I entered his room, knowing I was not quite welcome.
“Hey.” He rasped, pulling himself up to a sitting position as he groaned with pain. “You know, you’re the last person I expected to see in here.” He plastered a fake smile on his face as he watched me move to sit down and cross my legs. I cleared my throat lightly.
“Yeah, uhm… Everyone left. They got mad at me, so they left.” I stared at my hands.
“What did you do to make them so mad?” He asked slowly.
“Well, it was really only Kaylee, but she yelled at me because I need to be an adult.”
“Oh.” He nodded slowly.
“And she’s not wrong.” I corrected.
“She isn’t?”
“No. Not really. It made me think, kind of.” He furred his eyebrows.

“About what?” His voice was low as his eyes were glued to me.
“You, me, everything, really.” I picked at my cuticles.
“What about me?” That seemed to peak his interest.
“I’ve been horrible.” He bit his lip.
“Yes.” He nodded, “You have.”
“You don’t deserve the way I’ve been treating you.” I finally met his eyes.
“No” He sighed, “I don’t.”
“And I’m sorry.” I blurted out.
“You should be.” He was stonewalling, and it hurt me so much.

“This is all my fault.” Tears began to fill up in my eyes as I stared up at him.
“Don-Don’t say that.” He stammered.
“It is, though.” He rubbed the back of his neck as I spoke.
“No… I was kind of drunk, and-” I cut him off.
“Still, I’ve just been-” I paused and began crying.”Fuck, I’m sorry Luke. I want nothing more than to fix everything and to just be normal again but there is something inside me that doesn’t fucking know how to handle anything anymore and I’m so sorry for the way that I am.” I quickly wiped my cheeks and tried to gather myself again with shaky breaths.
“Romy…” His voice trailed off. “I-I’m not completely blameless here, either.” He frowned. “We both did some pretty shitty things that we need to apologize for, that’s why you’re here, right? You could have left, but you didn’t.” I was at a loss for words.

“No…” I finally spoke. “I’m here because I didn’t want you to wake up here alone. I’ve woken up in a hospital alone a few times and it’s probably the worst feeling ever.” I forced a smile.
“Is that your way of telling me Maiko abused you?” He asked slowly, furring his eyebrows.
“No!” I jumped to Maiko’s defense. “From my… Dad.” I rasped. “And I had this boyfriend in college who hit me once, sent me to the hospital. I broke up with him as soon as it happened, but regardless, my-uh-my dad.” Luke was silent for a long while. “But things are different now.” I forced a smile.
“Yeah, they are.” He nodded.
“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice came from the door. “Visiting hours are over.” A nurse smiled lightly before disappearing again.
“That’s my cue.” I sighed, standing and beginning to exit. “See you later.” I mumbled, pulling my phone out.
“Wait.” Luke called. “Will you come back tomorrow?” A small smile spread across my lips as I held onto the doorframe.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

***

“Good morning, Romy.” Luke muttered as I sat down.
“Hi.” I rasped.
“How’d you get home last night?” He asked. “I mean, you said they left? I thought Kaylee drove you…” His voice trailed off.
“She did.” I shrugged. “I called a cab.” Conversation fell flat after that, and we listened to his roommate snore. It was an elderly man with tubes and wires all over his body, it reminded me of my grandpa when he passed away, and Luke noticed me staring at the man.
“Heart attack.” He told me.
“Hmm?” I hummed.
“He had a heart attack, barely made it. He’s ninety-two, no family, and his only friends are in the nursing home.” Luke frowned.
“Oh, that’s sad.”
“Told me that his wife died thirty years ago and that if he didn’t think she’d knock him upside the head with a newspaper, he’d kill himself just to be with her.”
“Oh god.” I frowned.

“Well how did you sleep?” I changed the subject after a while of silence.
“Like hell.” He scoffed, taking his lip ring in his teeth. “I hate hospitals.” The mention of sleep seemed to make him tired, as he rubbed his eyes. I realized his messy hair and the bags under his eyes when I walked in, but decided against mentioning it, as it was expected that he was in pain. “They’ve got me on so many drugs right now, I can hardly think straight.” He laughed. “My good old friend, Mr. Brown joined me at two in the morning, and I stirred all night because my legs hurt so bloody bad.” He sighed.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I sympathized.
“You know when you’re a little kid, and you’re growing? Your legs and feet and arms hurt so bad at night, you feel like they’re going to fall off?” I nodded slowly. “Well that’s kind of how it feels. Like my limbs are extending and breaking off to keep growing. I feel like there is a fire in my feet and it’s slowly crawling up my spine and to the back of my brain.” He threw his head back.
“Well, I think you’re going to be in some pain for a while.” He sighed.
“I know.” He groaned, rubbing his eyes again.
“That’s what you get from standing on a ferris wheel.” I teased, smirking as he looked up at me. “Alright, sorry.” I laughed a bit.

“Right, so I kind of need to ask you for a favor, and if you don’t hate me by the end of it, I need to ask you for another.” He stared at me with pleading eyes and I just couldn’t say no.
“Okay…” I urged him to continue.
“Well, I need you to call mum and tell what happened, but make sure she doesn’t come down and let her know I’m leaving the hospital soon. And then if you could call Peter and let him know I can’t come into work for a while.” I obliged, speaking to his overly frantic mother, assuring her that everything was okay and that I’d personally make sure Luke was taken care of. Then, I called Peter, trying not to raise suspicion when he found out what exactly had happened and the fact that I was with Luke this weekend. And, after all the reassuring, and a second call from Liz, I joined Luke back in his room, where he was now watching some old sitcom I’d never heard of before.

“So did you hear I’m going to have to learn how to walk again?” He plastered a silly smirk on his lips, a somewhat bashful one. “I’m being released in a wheelchair Wednesday, and every day for a month after that, I have physical therapy at three. After a month, they said I should be walking with a cane. A cane! How wicked is that?” He tried to make light of the situation. “Anyways… A while more of therapy, depending on my progress, I should be back to normal. Anywhere from six months to a year, it’s gonna take.” He scratched the back of his neck, as if he was realizing, just now, the consequences to his actions. “I can go back to work as soon as I’ve got the cane down, I guess… And I’m going to have a shit load of mediceine to help deal with the pain. My stitches can come out in a few weeks.” He explained to me. “Which… Brings me to the next favor I have to ask you…” His voice trailed off.
“Okay?”

“It’s totally okay if you object, because I have other options, but… Would you mind kind of helping me out? And-And I’m not really asking for you to come over everyday and cook and clean, but I’m going to need transportation and someone to go to the store for me or with me… And I’m not asking if I can move in or if you’ll be my maid, I’m just asking for a little help, and it’s totally okay if you say no.” He rambled on, leaving me silent for a few moments, what I said next shocked us both.
“Okay.” I agreed, as it was mostly my fault. “Um… And if you want to stay with me, you can.” I don’t know why I said that, but it felt right, like I was assisting someone who was in need, and that someone used to be my best friend, and—well—the love of my life.
“I don’t want to be a burden.” He whispered, his eyes locking with mine.
“I insist.” I blurted out before I could think. “You can stay at my flat if you’d like, it’s probably more wheelchair accessible than your tiny thing.”
“We can discuss later.” He mumbled as the nurse came in to check on him and his roommate. “Wanna play cards?” He asked with a cheesy grin.
“I’d love to play cards.” I stifled a smile as he grabbed the deck and began to shuffle.

Notes

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