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Good Intentions ⇼ Luke Hemmings

Twelve.

Work seemed to drone on for days as I doodled on a notepad while directing calls, sending emails, and filing paperwork. Mr. Jones was in meetings all day, so I had nothing to do but sit and wait until I got off work. The highlight of my day was lunch, where I sat in the empty breakroom and silently ate until Luke passed by, telling me to wear something casual and comfortable for dinner tonight. The rest went on as a boring, long, sucky day. I got off work at 5, as usual, and was home by 5:30. As I was afraid to face Maiko, I grabbed some clothes and rushed out of our flat and to kaylee’s before he got home.

***

“So, what?” Kaylee asked as she cooked dinner. “You’re just ditching our dinner party?” She smirked.
“For Luke?” Ashton chimed in. He was sitting at the table, coloring with Josi and I. Josi giggled as if she knew what they were referring to.
“Okay, it’s not like that.” I defended. “We have to work together, it only makes sense that we’re civil.”
“Civil in the bedroom.” Ashton mumbled.
“Ashton!” Kaylee and I scolded at the same time as she hit him on the head with an oven mitt.
“Daddy!” Josi followed in pursuit, causing me to smile.
“I don’t want to go tonight, but I figured it’d be easier on all of us if everyone could be in the same room again. It’d make everything so much easier.” I picked at my nails, unsure if I was lying or not as Josi climbed on my lap, burying her face in my neck as she hugged me, I smiled and hugged her back.
“If you don’t want to go, then don’t go.” Kaylee quietly suggested.
“Yeah, Auntie Ro. Don’t go.” Josi mumbled into my skin.
“I already promised.” I rasped, tracing circles in the small girl’s back. “I’ll just go.”

***

As 7o’clock rolled around, I sat in the lobby of my flat building, waiting for Luke. My stomach twisted in a knot as I saw the headlights of a car pull up and park, half of me wished it wasn’t Luke. This is so stupid! I’m so stupid! Why the hell would I agree to have dinner with him when we can hardly resist ourselves around each other. I suppose it’s not too late to go back to Kaylee’s and text him not to come. As I stood to run, Luke pulled the door open and grinned at me, a string of mental curses ran through my brain as I smiled back, following him out of the building, lightly racking my hands over my thin sweater in hopes to keep warm as Luke opened the door for me. His new car was nice. Small and black, nothing like I’m used to, but it seemed new enough and spacious. I missed his old truck, but the smell of his new one was strongly of him, and we wouldn’t get stuck on back roads any more.

“Are you cold?” Luke asked as he started the car. “You can borrow my-” I cut him off.
“No. I’m fine, thanks.” He peeled out of the car park and began driving. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“Uhm… To the market, then back to mine. I’m making dinner.” He grinned.
“Oh, heaven help us.” I teased, earning a small laugh. It was the first time I’ve seen him in casual wear since new year’s, and the first time I’d seen him with his lip ring since his first day on the job, and I couldn’t help but notice how adorable he looked. His clothes were messy and wrinkled, like they were when his mum wasn’t home to iron them, and there was trash from various fast food restaurants thrown on the floor of his back seat. It saddens me to think that Luke has no one to take care of him. No one to wash and fold his clothes, clean his flat, make him a healthy dinner, assure he gets enough sleep. He’s always had problems with his own well being, and I fear that he’s completely lost without his mother and I to watch after him.

We walked into the market, being sure to keep a measurable distance from each other as I followed him around whilst he grabbed a few things, wine, pasta, and something for dessert. After paying, we drove to his flat, and I was surprised to find out how close he lives to me.
“I didn’t know you lived so close.” I remarked, giving him a small smile as we stepped into a lift.
“Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe we can carpool.” He shrugged, as if he wouldn’t care either way. I bit my lip.
“I do hate driving.” He laughed.
“Still?” He asked, I nodded, smiling. “I still love it.” He remarked, leading me down the hall and to a door with a big 3B nailed to it. Fishing his keys out of his pocket and letting me in, kicking the door closed as he trailed behind. I glanced around, making note that it was surprisingly clean for him.

“So… Uh… The bathroom is to the left there, my coat closet is to the right. He set the bags down on the counter, placing a hand on my back as he led me further into the flat. “Kitchen, obviously, my bed, and the telly room.” He pointed straight forward. “You can sit in there, or… At the-uh-table if you’d like.” It became apparent that Luke was just as nervous as I was.
“I can help.” I mumbled, fixing my eyes on his poor excuse for a kitchen.
“No.” He rejected. “I said I’d take you out, making it’s the least I can do.” I dryly laughed. “Just… Make yourself at home.” I sat at the small table as Luke began to boil water and poured a glass of wine for each of us, handing me mine before putting the rest of the food away.
“So… Uh… How’d you afford this place?” I asked, finding it odd that he lived in the same building as my boss, a CEO.

“Lawsuit.” He chuckled, joining me at the table. “The-uh-last flat I had was a bit away, it was on Harley street, and it had mold growing in the walls. Long story short, no one knew, a lady got real sick and passed, her son, who’s a pretty successful lawyer, he sued the owners of the building for everyone without charge, and what we got out of it turned out to be enough to afford this place and a new car.” I nodded slowly. “What about your place?” He inquired.
“It’s not expensive.” I laughed. “It’s a cheap piece of shit, actually. But Ashton fixed it up like he did theirs and Maiko moved in, so yeah.” I shrugged, seeming incredibly boring than how he’s been.

“So how’s your mum?” He changed the subject. “She has a kid?” I nodded slowly.
“His name is Charlie. She’s alone now, Owen died—he had cancer.” I sighed, shaking it off as nothing. “I never liked him much anyways.” I frowned, lying as I sipped my wine. “Charlie’s great though. He’s so smart and funny. He’s three now. He’d really like you, he doesn’t really have anyone besides mum and occasionally me. And my dad… He’s getting out of prison in a few weeks, I’ve got a restraining order against him, so there’s that. Nothing else has really changed with the family, I guess. I mean, everything has changed… But you get it.” I sighed. “How’s your family? I really miss your mum.” I smiled fondly.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Everyone misses you, Rom… Like a lot. My dad and mum retired, they’re just living at home now, both healthy. Jack is engaged to a girl called Faye, and Ben got married two years ago to a girl he met after you left, her name is Cara. Cara is actually pregnant, seven months along.” He grinned. “I’m gonna be a proper uncle!” He exclaimed, laughing. “Want to see something?” He asked, standing. Before I could answer, he was pulling me out to his balcony and closing the door behind us. I took a sip of my wine, staring out.

“Wow.” I mumbled, ignoring the cold. “You can practically see all of Sydney.” I noted, turning to look at Luke, who was staring at me with a blank expression. “How have you been, Luke?” I asked. “How have you really been?” He was silent for a long time.
“As good as I can be,” He let out a breathy laugh. “But, I’m trying to be better.” He finished his glass of wine.
“What do you mean, trying?” I foolishly asked. He looked up at the stars.
“I mean, I don’t know! I mean, I’m shitty. The last five years have been absolutely horrid.” He paused, glancing at me. “I’m trying to be okay, but I’m really not. I have no one. I’ve had no one for so long. I fucked up so bad, I lost all my mates, and I’ve been trying to get my life back on track.” He shook his head. “It’s been hard, Romy. It’s been really hard, and I’m sorry.” Before I could respond, be continued. “I’m sorry I pushed you into the arms of another man, and I’m sorry I fucked that up, too. I’m so fucking sorry that I constantly fuck up your life, it seems to be the only thing I’m good at.”
“I didn’t love Maiko.” I told him, in hopes that it would make him feel better. He wasn’t what I was looking for. It’s as simple as that. But you were everything I needed, Luke. No one is going to compare to that.”

“I should-” He paused, clearing his throat. “Check on dinner.” And with that, he was gone, he disappeared into the flat and left me in the cold. After a while of Luke being inside, I decided to join him to make sure everything was okay. I grabbed both of out empty wine glasses and headed to his kitchen.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Change of plans.” I glanced around him to see the pot was now in the sink. “I just ordered chinese.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “I fucked dinner up.” He blushed as I shook my head.
“You should have let me help.” I laughed.
“It’s not funny!” He pouted, refilling our wine.
“Sorry.” I stifled my laughter and followed him to the living room. We began watching Friends, like we had five years ago, and waited for chinese food. By the time it got here, we were so hungry we ate in the most comfortable silence. It’s not that we ran out of things to talk about, it was just that nothing else had to be said, we were content with the lack of conversation.

By the end of the night, when he was about to drive me home, Luke grabbed a cardboard box and handed it to me.
“This is for you.” His face turned red. “Don’t open it now,” He told me. “Save it for later.” I obliged, following him out to his car and getting in the passenger seat. “So that carpool deal?” He asked as he drove. “Are we going to…” His voice trailed off.
“Yeah, sure.” I laughed, staring out the window as he pulled up to my flat building.
“Great, I’ll pick you up at 8, is that okay?”
“That’s perfect.” I smiled, climbing out of his car. “Thanks for dinner, Luke.” And with that, I went to Kaylee’s flat. Thankfully, everyone was asleep and our friends were gone, which gave me privacy to open the box. When I did, I found a shirt I hadn’t known I left at his house, my old good-luck necklace, every note I wrote him, a pair of jeans I’d been looking for, the flannel and shirt I always stole from him, and the polaroids we used to take. After sealing the box, I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep.

Notes

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Comments

@Allie Miller
:)))

exiiliious exiiliious
4/14/18

ohhhh!!!! getting right on it

Allie Miller Allie Miller
4/14/18

@exiiliious
Same. Well, I guess you probaly figured that out from the reference and my profile picture of Gerard Way. XD

@Ana Hemmings'
I love MCR haha

OH MY GOD!! I cried so hard when their son died! I'm not okay(anyone else catch that MCR reference? No? Ok then.)! Please update this!!!