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Good Intentions ⇼ Luke Hemmings

Eleven.

“Morning.” Kaylee mumbled as she set Josi next to me at the kitchen table.
“Hey.” I smiled fakely while I subconsciously straightened the skirt of my dress, taking a sip of my coffee. Gently tapping Josi’s nose, I watched Kaylee pace around the kitchen, preparing breakfast. I’d been staying at Kaylee’s for a week and a half, their routine became accustom to me, mornings always seemed to run late and rushed, afternoons chaotic and full of Josi running around, and nights were usually calm. Everyday was different but exactly alike at the same time, it grew to be lethargic, and I had no idea how Kaylee could possibly tolerate the routine. She used to be so wild and free-spirited, now she’s just tied down. As she set a bowl of cereal in front of Josi, Kaylee sat down.

“I think I’m going to do it today.” I announced, speaking of my breaking up with Maiko. I’d decided that I want to be alone, and with avoiding Maiko and not speaking to Luke, everything has been much simpler.
“When?” She inquired, raising an eyebrow.
“Soon.” I sighed, still unsure. “If I can get the courage, after I finish my coffee.” Staring into the cup, I prayed that somehow it would magically refill. “I just don’t want to hurt him… You know?” She nodded slowly as Ashton came into the kitchen, kissing both Josi and Kaylee on the head before making himself coffee.
“Is Maiko coming ‘round tonight?” Ashton asked as he bit into a banana. Ella, Michael, Calum, and Steph were coming to theirs tonight for dinner.
“No.” I muttered, looking into my now-empty cup and silently cursing myself. “I’ve to go.” I made an excuse to get out of the awkward situation, standing up and kissing Josi on the cheek before rushing out of Kaylee’s flat and walking tortuously slow to mine.

“Maiko.” I announced my presence once I stepped into the once warming flat and began walking to the kitchen, stopping dead cold when I heard the murmurs of another’s voice. Blood boiled in my toes and fingers as I neared the kitchen, peering in to see a girl with her arms wrapped around Maiko’s body. Without knowing what to do, I cleared my throat, crossing my arms as Maiko pushed the girl off of him.
“Romy-” He began, only for me to cut him off.
“I want you out by the end of the week.” I growled, only giving him three days to pack up and disappear before turning on my heels and walking out of the flat.

I felt completely numb on the way to work, I couldn’t tell if I was sad, angry, or glad to be released. Everything inside of me was conflicted, and when I got to work, sat at my desk, and began doing paperwork, it hit me. Everything in my life was crashing around me. I lost Maiko, and I can’t be angry about it because it was all my fault. I did the same thing with Luke, only I kept it a secret. I’m just as horrible as he is, and with that thought my chest began to tighten and my eyes began to water. I tried to keep myself composed while I typed away and tried to file reports. It wasn’t until Luke walked past me, stopping to ask if I was alright, that I completely lost all the power I had in me, tears burnt my cheeks and I screwed my eyes shut, burying my face in my hands. Luke closed my office door before returning to me, kneeling down so we were face to face. I tried my hardest to stop crying but I couldn’t.

Luke’s and awkwardly set on my back as he rubbed circles and mumbled that it’ll probably be okay. And when I finally calmed myself to quiet gasping in between rubbing tears off my cheeks, Luke spoke.
“You okay?” He asked slowly, though it was clear that I wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” He asked in response to my head shake.
“I left Maiko today.” I sniffled, avoiding eye contact. “He-he cheated on me… I was going to leave him anyways, but he cheated on me regardless… And you see, the thing is… I-I can’t really be mad or upset because I’ve done the same exact thing to him only he doesn’t know, but I still did, and that kills me because I’m just this horrible person who threw everything that was semi-alright in my life away for a night when I was horny and I saw a guy I used to love, and everything is fucked now because I lost the man that I might love for a man who no longer matters.” Luke pursed his lips.
“You didn’t love him.” He quietly stated.
“You have no idea how I felt about Maiko.” I dryly laughed, rolling my eyes.
“Romy, you slept with me, you wouldn’t have done that if you loved him-” I cut him off.
“That has nothing to do-” He didn’t let me finish.
“You two had oceans—the milky way—fucking galaxies in between you and your emotions, and you still needed space and time from him. How could you possibly need any more space when you had the entirety of space? You didn’t love him.” I was silent for a long while, trying to reason with myself.

“Well… I’m an introvert. I always need space for myself or to look at nature. Sometimes I need to be let go, to wander by myself, and I’ll always come back I just need time alone to find my way back.” Luke sighed again, running a hand through his quiff.
“Romy?” He asked.
“Yeah?”
“You never needed space from me.” His voice was quiet and slow.
“Things were different. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, Luke. I’ve changed a hell of a lot. When you’re left alone in the dark, you become cold and distant and horrible. I’ve become darkened, and I can’t help myself from being absolutely horrible.” Luke smiled lightly, shaking his head.
“You’re not horrible, Romy. You’ve been alone for a long time, and that’s my fault. There’s no saying who you’d be if I hadn’t fucked everything up. And regardless of who you are-” He paused, grabbing my hand gently. “Or who you’ve been—or even who you would have been, I’ve never loved you any less. I’ll never stop loving you. You’re my person, Romy. I’ve completely decided on you. I’ll never stop loving you.” We both fell silent for a long while, I had no idea how to respond.

Without any warning, Luke crashed his lips to mine. As much as I wanted to pull away, I kissed him back until my I regained my mind, then pushed his chest, sniffling as my eyes filled with tears that I blinked away.
“Luke!” I gasped.
“I’m sorry.” He covered his mouth in complete shock, as if he’d been caught off guard, too. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Shaking my head, I stared at the paperwork on my desk. “I’m sorry.” He apologized again. “I had no idea what I was…” His voice trailed off as he laughed quietly. I couldn’t help but stifle laughter as well.
“It’s not funny.” I protested.
“It’s really not.” He laughed.
“You have to stop doing that.” The laughter slowly died down as Luke bit his lip.
“Right. Sorry.” He rasped, heading out of my office.

“Romy?” He stopped at the door. “If I can’t have you as a love, can I at least have you as a friend?” My throat felt dry as he asked me that.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “I’d like that. Friends.” He smiled as if he’d won a prize.
“Starting again.” He nodded quickly. “Wanna get dinner tonight? As friends?”
“I-I don’t know-” He cut me off.
“Come on.” He urged. “The first night alone is always the hardest. You need your friends.” I couldn’t help but smile at how simple things had turned.
“Okay. Dinner tonight.” He grinned, playing with the spot his lip ring used to be.
“Great. I’ll pick you up at 7.”

Notes

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Comments

@Allie Miller
:)))

exiiliious exiiliious
4/14/18

ohhhh!!!! getting right on it

Allie Miller Allie Miller
4/14/18

@exiiliious
Same. Well, I guess you probaly figured that out from the reference and my profile picture of Gerard Way. XD

@Ana Hemmings'
I love MCR haha

OH MY GOD!! I cried so hard when their son died! I'm not okay(anyone else catch that MCR reference? No? Ok then.)! Please update this!!!