I follow Harry into the small pub that's a few miles out from London. It's beautifully decorated with a large Christmas tree in the corner with bright white lights glistening. The fireplace is lit and there's stockings dangling from the edge. I can smell cinnamon as the flavoured candles on the tables dimly give off their own little effect. It's cosy here and I really like it.

"What are you having to drink?" Harry asks as he turns to me as we approach the bar. I go with a safe choice of rose wine, I hope it doesn't mix with the vodka I had earlier.
I look around as Harry orders our drinks and I notice it's mostly couples here tonight. Some are holding hands on the table, whilst they're engrossed in conversation. Some are giving off flirty gestures, probably because they've had too much to drink.

"Steph.." I quickly look to Harry who's holding my glass of wine out to me. I apologise and take the drink, thanking him as I take a sip. I follow Harry over to the empty table in the corner by the fireplace. I smile as I get myself comfortable in the cosy chairs, I'm going to get far too relaxed here.

"This place is lovely." I say as I look at Harry whilst leaning back in my chair. He nods and takes a sip of drink.

"I thought maybe coming somewhere mellow to talk would help us stay level headed." Harry says as he looks at me, I nod in agreement at his idea. "So, where do we start?" He adds as he leans forward and looks at me warily.

"I'm not sure to be honest. It feels like so much has happened" I sigh as I look down at my drink, this isn't going to be easy. Facing problems isn't exactly what people enjoy doing.

"Well obviously I completely fucked up. I shouldn't have done what I did. I wasn't thinking right and I was just thinking about myself and my needs." Harry says as he looks down at the floor. "I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lose you." He adds and he avoids looking at me. I look away too as this is just so hard. I never dreamt of having this conversation with Harry, with him explaining why he slept with someone else.

"I wanted you all along. I fucking love you." Harry sighs and he shakes his head frustratedly. "I missed what we had and I kept trying to find it in other places." He pauses and I know I'm not going to enjoy where this is going.
"There was a girl called Louise, she was lovely." I grit my teeth as he says this. My jealousy is awful when it comes to Harry. "I liked her and thought maybe I could have something with her. But I couldn't. I was a prick to her, I blew her off in a text." I look up as he stops and he looks up too.

"You shouldn't have blew her off like that." I sigh as even though I'm glad he didn't move on with her, it's not right to just ditch someone in a text. Jealous or not, I still have a heart.

"I know and I'm learning. I'm far from perfect Steph. Look at me when we met again, I was literally a different person. Life keeps throwing me all these situations and taking me down unexpected paths." He says as he sips his drink.

"You make choices in your life, for you. You choose your own path to take and life will always test you." I answer and Harry nods. The sadness in his eyes makes my heart melt, I just want to lean over and wrap my arms around him. But I'm still annoyed and confused, we've got too much to discuss.

"Maybe I shouldn't have chose London. If I could turn back time I'd pick you, I don't care if that means I would have got some shitty job in Cheshire." He snaps as he leans back in his chair.

"You had to chose London Harry, that was one of the good decisions you made. I didn't see it then but I see it now. You're doing what makes you happy." I explain and Harry looks at me and slowly shakes his head.

"But why did I let you go?" He asks and I look away as he knows that answer. "Things could have been handled differently." He adds and I slowly nod.

"So where do things stand with you and Naomi?" I hate to ask this but I've got no choice if I want to square this up.

"That was a stupid mistake that doesn't lead to anything. At first I'll admit, I was debating whether or not to try again with her because I knew I'd lost you. And before you say it, I know that's not the right attitude and it was wrong of me. But I can't compare anyone to you, Naomi was my back up plan." He stops as he shakes his head. "I sound like such an ass." He snaps.

"You are an ass." I say and he looks at me and nods. I look away as I don't want to give in and smile. "Did you love her?" I ask and instantly begin to curse myself. I don't need to know this!

"Yes." His answer makes my heart sink, I literally feel like someone has took all the air out of my lungs as my body deflates into the chair. "It was a different love, I wanted to look after her. But I wasn't in love with her." He adds.

I look up at him and he bites his lip nervously. He goes to speak but stops as he ruffles his hair up. I wait as he sighs and finally continues,

"Naomi and I have been through some challenging phases. I never officially went out with her, but we were seeing each other through out college. I guess love grew the more time I spent with her." He says and I scratch the back of my head awkwardly.

"Did you love Niall?" He asks and I'm suddenly taken by surprise. I frown as I shake my head.

"I wasn't with Niall long enough. We were completely different to you and Naomi Harry." I snap as I begin to feel a little defensive. "Niall is someone I care about and I knew I could have easily fell in love with him. But you stopped me, I could never get you out of my bloody head whether or not you were there, the feelings were still strong." I feel sadness in myself as I think of Niall and how unfair of me it was to drag him into this mess.

"It fucked my head up when you were with him." Harry says and I look at him and nod understanding why.

---

Harry's POV

"Niall didn't deserve what I put him through, I was a indecisive mess and he still stood by me." She says and I look down at my half empty glass. Hearing how fond she was of Niall really does hit a nerve, but I try to keep it cool.

"He's a good guy, that's why." I say and she looks a little shocked at me. "So what are we expecting from this talk?" I ask changing the subject and she frowns. I know exactly what I want but I need to hear it from her too.

"To be on the same level?" She asks but she closes her eyes and sighs, as she opens them she looks exhausted from all this drama. "I can't get Naomi and you out of my head. I wish I could, but the truth is I'm so jealous of her I become this small vulnerable little girl. I never used to be a jealous person, but with you I'm uncontrollable." She explains and I shake my head softly.

"Okay, shall we just try and clear this whole Naomi thing up? Because we aren't going to get anywhere at this rate." I snap as I'm running out of words to help her understand that I don't want Naomi, I want her so bad.

"You are insane Stephanie May. The thought of you feeling insecure compared to Naomi to me is madness. She's attractive, so what." She looks down as I say this. "But you are beautiful. I've never felt love for anyone like I do with you." She slowly looks back up and I lean forward and quieten my voice as I continue,
"As cheesy as this sounds, I've only made love with you. No one else, that was just sex. But with you, not only do you make me feel alive, I also fall in love with you over and over again. So get Naomi out of that bloody stubborn head of your's." I look at her and confusingly she smiles, she shakes her head.

"You don't realise how hard it is Harry." She says as her expression falls back to serious again.

"Of course I do, you were with Niall. You know how I felt about that." I say as I feel we're just going round in circles. "I've got to get on with it and just concentrate on us." I sigh as I 'm feeling more and more fed up now.

"Would it be too soon to try again? After what happened it may make us feel like we're being fake?" Stephanie asks and I shake my head.

"I just want to be with you. I don't want to think bout Naomi or Niall. From now on its about us, if we're going to try then we need to move on from the past." I explain and Stephanie looks at me hesitantly. Why is she fighting against me? I don't understand at all what's going on in that head if hers.

"I just think if we try and start again after it being so soon, it may feel rushed and I don't want to fall out again Harry. There's only so much drama we can take in a small amount of time." Stephanie says and I become infuriated.

"So what do you want me for me? You come to London, you turn up being all seductive and for what? Just to get sex out of me?" I snap, a couple of heads turn but I really don't care. I've been trying so hard to get her on my side and to be mature about what's happened. It's as if she likes going backwards with us.

"Can you keep your voice down?" She snaps embarrassed and I shake my head and finish of my drink. I stand up and I leave the pub, otherwise I know I'm going to say something I regret. "Harry!" Steph says as she follows me out. I keep walking to my car and I unlock it. "Walking away from this isn't going to solve anything is it?" She adds. I quickly turn to her and I can't help but laugh.

"I thought that's what you wanted? You don't have any interest in solving us, you keep making up excuses to how it's too soon to be together. I'm not going to repeat myself over and over Steph." I snap and she frowns as she clears her throat.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm a bit wary off getting hurt again Harry, it's not been a smooth ride with you has it? I have to try and look out for myself as much as I can. Do you not get that? I'm not something you can just reset and then we start again, this isn't a game. It's life, our lives Harry that are being thrown into these bloody situations. I've had enough of being hurt and making stupid mistakes that I know I can prevent. So just use your head and think about what your asking us to do. Be realistic!" She snaps as she looks away. Okay, point taken. Maybe I am just too keen to have her back, but I don't care about taking the risk.

"Relationships are always going to be hard, no matter how hard we try. There will be other problems in the future but we just need to work together. I don't want to hurt you again, I'll prevent everything that I can to make sure I make you happy. I don't want to fuck up and lose you for good, can't you see how much I am holding on to you. I may be crazily in love with you, but I still have a limit to how much I can take too Stephanie." I sigh as I get in the car, as Steph gets in she looks at me.

"I want to be with you but we both have a lot of to think about and changes to be made. What we've discussed tonight need to be turned into action." She says as she puts her seatbelt on, I do too.

"I agree with that, so let's come to an agreement. We won't rush back into a relationship, maybe we can just start to see each other. That way we aren't pressured and we can work on our issues whilst enjoying each other's company." I suggest and she looks at me and softly smiles.

"I think that's the best idea." Steph says and I sigh with relief. She may not be mine again, but I can deal with that. Knowing that we are going to try the whole seeing each other stage gives us a chance to show each other how much we do and can be together.

"So let's set a day in the week where we dedicate to each other. I can come back to you on the weekends?" I ask and Stephanie looks at me and nods. "I know you work but we can spend the Sunday together or something. That's the only way we can do this as it's hard to see each other often."

"That sounds fine to me. But can I ask one thing?" Stephanie says as I start to drive off, I glance to her and nod. "Can you cut off from Naomi? I don't think I'd be comfortable with you having her in your life." She asks and I look away back at the road.

"Yeah, okay." I know it's going to be hard for Naomi, but at the end of the day I have to do whatever it takes to prove to Stephanie that I'm serious about her. "If you do me one thing." I ask and I can feel her eyes on me. I look at her and she waits for me to continue, "Let go of what has happened and don't bring Naomi up. If she's going to be cut out of my life, then you need to do it too." I say and I look back at the road again.

"Okay.." Stephanie says. I nod as I know there isn't much more that I can say to her. The atmosphere is naturally a little tense, but it's bound to be.
We both fall silent, we are most likely thinking the same thing about tonight. This is going to be hard, but Stephanie needs to put in the equal amount of effort as I do. If this doesn't work and we can't make our each other happy, then we know we have to give up. That thought alone scares the crap out of me as I don't want to be without Stephanie and I really don't want her to be with anyone else. There will probably be times when we talk about things from the past, sometimes issues that we feel like they've never really been resolved. But Naomi really can't come into conversations anymore, because she is Stephanie's biggest threat and I can't have her become distracted by a problem that isn't even there. I just hope she can keep this up. I hope we both can get through this.

---

Stephanie's POV

We arrive back to Harry's flat and I feel slightly out of place. I know we've decided we are going to try and move on by seeing each other, but as that decision has just been made everything is still a little raw. I don't think we have completely spoke about everything, but if we tried we would have I just been leading each other back to the same old problems. We both need to talk more, I've learnt that more than Harry. I have to stop running away and I need to stand up and face my problems.

"Hey you two! Nice evening?" Louis asks as soon as we walk into the living room. Liam looks up at us and smiles. I nod to Louis and I smile, I have to start fresh now and I need to show Harry that I am prepared to put effort in.

"It wasn't too bad thanks." Harry says and Liam invites us to sit down, Harry looks to me and I nod as I sit on the other sofa next to Louis. Harry sits next to me and looks to Liam.

"Is everything okay?" Liam asks softly and I can tell Harry must confide in him a lot. He has this soft gentle approach to him. I instantly feel like I could start to tell him what's been happening, but I don't want to scare the poor boy.

"Yeah, we've spoke about some stuff and now we are just taking things slow." Harry answers and he looks to me checking that it's okay he tell him, I smile supportively.

"Ah you're back together." Louis grins as he looks at us, I can't help but find comfort in Louis, he's exactly what we need when things get a little heated. I smile at him but Harry quickly answers,

"No we're not back together, we are going to try and see each other. See how we get on." Harry says and although I've agreed to this, hearing it come from his mouth as he explains to his friends makes me feel a little disappointed.

"Well that's better than not being together at all, right?" Louis asks and I nod, "You two will get it through it. Anyway, Harry get us some drinks we have a guest." Louis smirks as he looks to Harry.

"You'll get used to him." Harry smirks to me as he rolls his eyes. He stands up and leaves to go in the kitchen. I look to Liam as weirdly enough I don't feel that nervous being in a room with two people I don't know.

"If you're not comfortable with us talking about you guys, just let us know." Liam says and I thank him but explain that I'm fine with it. He smiles and nods. "It's nice to actually have you here, we've waited a long time to meet you properly." He adds politely.

"Yeah, we've heard enough about you." Louis says and Harry quickly calls for him. Louis stands up and excuses himself as he leaves the living room.

"It's nice to meet you both too." I say as I look back at Liam, he smiles. He starts to ask me about life back home and I end up talking about Harry and I when we were little. I love talking about us as kids, they were the days where I'd happily go back too. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those days and I'd make sure we never lost contact. It would be interesting to see how things would have ended up. Would we have ever fell in love? Would we have become best friends and nothing more. Maybe we would have ended up falling out and would never have made up again. That's a weird thought.

I snap back to reality and I listen to Liam as he explains what it was like when he first started to live with Harry, I can't help but smile at his short story.

---

"So how do you find it in London?" Liam asks as he sits down next to Harry on the sofa. Harry, who sits with is arms crossed tightly across his chest shrugs.
"It's not amazed me yet, how about you?" Harry asks as he doesn't even bother looking to Liam.

"I like it, it's a big place and I guess it holds a lot of opportunities." Liam answers and Harry nods whilst still looking at the TV. Liam sighs as he knows something isn't right with his new flat mate.

"You know, I'm a pretty good listener if you ever feel like this place gets a bit too much for you, I know we've only just met, but the offer is there." Liam says warily and Harry looks at him and a small smile appears on his lips.

"You'll regret saying that." Harry says and Liam smiles whilst shaking his head.

"No, I mean it. I'm all ears." Liam says and Harry turns his position towards Liam.

"Okay, where do I start.." Harry sighs.

Notes

I'm not very good at emotion, I often struggle to write and say how I feel. So chapters like these I do find a little more difficult, I just hope you like it!
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