Stephanie's POV

I know he's angry and he may be feeling frustrated with me, but Harry will understand that I've done the right thing. Haven't I?

I just know with the way I am feeling at the moment, I won't be able to put my heart and soul into the relationship like I used too. The last thing I want is Harry to think I'm not either happy or bothering with him. It's my head and only I can feel what I feel, no one else will ever understand how I see things and how differently everything has become to me.

Harry doesn't realise I'm affected just as much as him, I'd do anything to be with him and to have things just like they were before. So this is why I'm doing this, if I'm ever going to be given a chance with him again, then I need to be the girl that he used to know. I'm not destroying anymore relationships, it's a new start from now on.

I quickly sit down at my computer desk and I wait for my laptop to load. If I'm not going to carry on with college then I either need to look for a proper full time job or I need to change courses. Once it's loaded up I log on to the college website and I have a browse at the courses that are available. It won't be until next year that I can do it now as I'll have to finish off my Performing arts to get the certificate, just Incase I ever wanted to go back into it in the future.

But what can I see myself becoming? What is it that I want to do? The truth is I have no bloody idea. How is any eighteen year old supposed to know what she wants to do with her life? I understand some teens are more level headed and they know what they want to achieve in life, unfortunately I'm not one of those. But I am determined to try and do something that will help my future.
What if there isn't any courses that stand out to me? I guess I could try and get a full time job in the mean time and see what I feel like later on in a couple of years. It's never too late to turn your life around. My Mum is a nurse, but only part time as she doesn't have to work full days. She has only been doing that for a couple of years as she never could afford when she was younger to pay for courses and university, it was only until when Dad's business starting to kick off healthily and he helped her pay for courses and Uni.

I come out of the college site and I start to look for jobs, I can work part time in the week until college is done and then I can go full time. Who knows, I may find a job I love.

---

Harry's POV

"Harry, Is that you?" Mum calls out as I shut the front door and place my car keys on the side table. I look at her as she approaches me, I've lost count the amount of times we've greeted each other in this hallway, mostly the greetings were bad ones. "Are you alright?" She asks sensing my anger.

"Stephanie completely blew me off." I snap as I walk into the kitchen and I grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it with tap water. Mum follows me in and puts her arms around me.

"I'm sorry love." She sighs as she kisses my cheek. I've not had affection from my Mum like this for years. I look down to the floor feeling like the little boy I once used to be.

"She said she needed to sort her head out and then she wants to try. But why should I wait around for her?" I ask as Mum lets go of me and stands up straight, I look at her and sigh.

"Because if you love someone and they are in a bad place, it will make you wait for them. I know it's not fair but maybe she's doing the right thing? Susan said she's all over the place and it may be good for her try and sort a few things out." Mum says and I look away as I don't want to accept that she's right. All I wanted was to go over there and get Stephanie back, but it completely failed and her rejection has completely fucked me up.

"Well, maybe I should make her realise that I'm not here forever. There's only so much waiting that I can do." I snap as I sip my water, my Mum softly sighs and looks away.

"No one can tell you how to feel or what to do.." She says as she puts her hands in her pockets, I know this must be a little awkward for Mum as this is her best friend's daughter.

"Hey hey!" Gemma smiles as she walks in and I look up at her. "Harry!" She smiles in surprise as she walks over to me and hugs me. "Can you not work out weeks and days properly? You're a week early!" She sniggers as she pulls away. I roll my eyes smiling.

"Funny!" I nudge her, "I thought I'd surprise you. Anyway, I've heard all about you and your boyfriend." I smirk and Gemma rolls her eyes laughing. "Can't wait to meet him."

"He is awesome." Gemma says and her reaction surprises me, she's eager for us to see him. He must be good for her if she is that sure to show him off to everyone, fair play to her she deserves to be happy.

"I'll decide that." I joke and Gemma hits me in the arm. I start listening to her telling me how they met as my Mum watches her smiling.

"So Olivia introduced me to him at the cinema, which wasn't the greatest place to meet someone new as you can't exactly talk much can you?" Gemma asks and I shake my head laughing. "But when we went for drinks after, I got talking with him and he's really sweet. Honestly, I've never met anyone like him before." She adds and I smile at her happiness, I've not seen my sister like this in a long time. I instantly feel better being around her, my anger has subsided for now.

"Well I'm happy for you Gem." I say as I fold my arms and lean back on the counter. She smiles at me and looks pleased. Gemma hasn't had a boyfriend for a few years now. Her last boyfriend was a complete idiot and just treated her like shit. It's about time she found someone nice who actually deserves her, obviously I've not met him yet but that's just going by what she's told me.

"And how is your love life brother?" She asks as she turns to me, Mum looks away and starts to tidy a few things that aren't even necessary. I look at Gemma and I shrug, what exactly can I say?
"Still not back with Steph?" She asks and I shake my head. She frowns as if my answer is confusing.

"Stephanie wants to be on her own at the moment, so I'm leaving her to it." I say a little harshly as every time I think about her I just feel so annoyed with myself. "I give up." I sigh as I run a hand through my hair.

"Don't give up Harry, give her time. Then if she just keeps you hanging around, then you give up." She says and my Mum stops and looks to us, a smile on her face. I look back to Gemma and I shrug as I really don't know what to think or how to feel right now. Maybe in a couple of days I'll see it like she does, but for now I'm still a little pissed off.

"Well, I'm gonna go put a film on." I say as I escape the conversation, I head out of the kitchen but Gemma quickly calls after me. I stop and look at her, she has her cheeky smile on show and I raise my eyebrows for what's about to escape her lips.

"You really need a haircut, that might help get her back.." She teases and I shake my head trying not to laugh at my sister's annoying humour. I leave and head into the living room, a hand running through my hair again, this is a habit of mine especially when I'm stressed, nervous or feeling anxious. Maybe she's right? Maybe my hair is a little bit out of depth but I'm sure that has no affect on why Stephanie wants time to herself. Fuck sake, why am I even having this inner conversation?

---

Stephanie's POV

I quickly write down the address and details of a job I have stumbled across. It's only a receptionist job three days a week but it's better than nothing. I wouldn't mind just sat down answering the phone and learning to input whatever data they require into the computer.I start to fill in my details into their application form, I don't know why my heart starts to beat a little faster as I feel quite nervous just filling this in. I may not even get a call back so I don't know why I'm getting like this.

"Steph?" My Mum knocks and I shout for her to come in, I quickly look over to her. "Has Harry gone?" She says as she looks around in my room.

"Yeah.." I answer as she looks at me and sighs. "I told him I had to sort myself out before I even attempt trying to sort things out with him." I explain and she looks a little shocked that I'm telling her this, but I'm trying to be more open with people. Especially my family, it's about time I let them in on my life. She sits down on my bed.

"Okay, have you thought Harry could actually help you with that? Being with him you were so happy, your Dad and I thought it was such a shame when you split. Sometimes a certain person can bring out the best in you." Mum says and I look away as I listen to her words, they make sense as I've never thought of it like that.

"I was worried I'd drag him down and I really didn't want to destroy a relationship with him." I answer and Mum nods. "Do you think I'm being selfish by brushing him off?"

"No, I think you should do what you thinks best. And if that's being apart from Harry, then so be it." She answers and I bite my lip as I look back at her.

"I just care about him too much and I want to be full on with him. I want to put effort in and show him how I feel, but at the moment I can't see myself doing that properly." I know my words probably make no sense as I have no idea how to word this, especially to my Mum. She stands up and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Just go with what you thinks best, always listen to yourself. You know how you feel and you know yourself best. " she pauses as she looks at my laptop screen. "What's this?" She asks.

"Oh.." I say looking to the screen. "It's a job application form." I say as I look back at her, she smiles and looks really impressed with me. It's quite a nice feeling to see her like this.

"Okay, I'll leave you in peace." She says as she walks to my door. She turns to me and smiles, "I'm proud of you Stephanie." She adds before walking out and closing the door after her. I smile and look away back at the computer screen. Her words about Harry keep going around in my head but for now I need to concentrate on this form, then I will think about the next step with Harry. After all, Mum could have a point.

Notes

I'm sorry it's a short chapter again,
It's been mad with trying to get some christmas shopping done, I'm so behind!!
But I'm slowly getting there :)

Hope you're all okay and well,
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