Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better.

*LOUIS' POV*

"Ugh." I groan as I sit up on this strangely soft surface. "What?"

"Hey, Lou." The voice belongs to my mother.

"Uh-"

"Your father called the ambulance when he found you in the tub." She explains, and I notice that she's holding my hand in both of hers.

My head is experiencing serious shock pulses from one end to the other, and straightening my back is of no use. I sink back down and close my eyes, feeling my nasal passages seize up. My body temperature seems to have returned to normal and I'm no longer in a bathtub of ice water, rather in a hospital bed where there are drips and needles alike positioned all around me.

The last moment of my conscious before blanking out come back to me in an angry rampage. The phone call, the hurt, the lies and all of Douglas' hateful words, going home and wanting to escape it all.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, her voice is soft and light.

"Fine." I croak. "W-Where am I?"

"You're at the County General. Louis-"

"I don't......want to talk about it, mom."

"Really? Because you almost-"

"Almost." I cut her off again. "I didn't, though."

I know she cared, she was my mother for God's sake. I was never one for talking about feelings and getting over them with healthy sessions of therapy. I appreciated my privacy, and not being pushed to let go of information I didn't want to share.

No one's caught me before. It was uncomfortable to be here now with people surrounding me, wanting to know just how deep my insanity was rooted.

"You've been asleep for two hours." She answers before I can ask. "Dr. Knowles said you...."
She starts to cry and I feel a crack somewhere deep inside.

"Mom." I turn around on my side, feeling a rush of blood to the entire right half of my body.

"Mom, it's okay."

"I worry about you, Lou." She tightens her grip on both my hands. "And today I just......I thought I lost you."

"You won't lose me, Mom." I give her a small smile. "No one's ready for that yet."

"I'll never be ready for that." She lightly smacks my arm. "You're still my baby."

I roll my eyes and ignore the little burn above my eyelids. "Always, no matter if I'm in my golden years."

She laughs weakly. "Sleep, Lou. But we're talking about this."

"Later."

"Yeah." She gets up to kiss my forehead. "Get some rest now."

"Where's Dad and Phoebe?" I ask through lidded eyes and with a sleepy voice.

"They're outside. You can see them when you wake up."

I nod my head into the pillow, letting sleep overtake me. The next time I wake up, the first thing I see is a bandage on my wrist, with several red lines to indicate the cuts beneath. I cough and moan, getting more tangled in the thin hospital sheets.

"Lou?"

I blink my eyes open and smile at my little sister. "Hey, Phoebe."

"How are you feeling?" She sits on the edge of my bed, swinging her legs back and forth.

"Tired." Without a doubt, the loss of blood and stress had caused all this. "You?"

She laughs and hops down to lean by the head of my bed to look directly at me. "Don't be sad anymore, Lou."

I sigh and close my eyes. "It's not that easy, Phoebs."

"Make it that easy." She sniffs. "Because I love my big brother."

I open my eyes to a sight for no eyes, Phoebe let's me scoop her up into a sweet cuddle so she isn't crying alone. I kiss her cheek and brush her hair out of her face.

"Shh." I tickle her to get a laugh. It works. "Your big brother loves you too."

"Then you're staying here?"

"Of course I am."

"And you won't be sad?"

"How about this?" I propose. "If you let me borrow Mr. Fluffles then I'll be happy."

"No!" She exclaims. "Mr. Fluffles is mine."

"Aw." I pout.

"We can share!"

"Alright, we'll share." I smile fondly at my baby sister because she had more of a point than
anyone else.

If I couldn't stay happy, I'd at least try for her. She'd keep me laughing with Mr. Fluffles for as long as I needed it because my little sister was one of a kind.

There's a knock on the door and I crane my neck to see who else has come to try their hand at cheering me up unnecessarily.

"Hey Louis." Harry stands at the door, hospital gown on and deadpan expression.

I tap Phoebe's hip to get her attention. "Go find Mommy and make sure she's got Mr. Fluffles safe, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Lou!" She jumps to her feet and runs off. "Bye, Harry!"

He turns to wave at her before stepping into the room, by that time I'm already curled in on myself sheepishly. I didn't want to see him, nor have him see me in this condition. I felt like I had my backbone yanked out of me, leaving me a wobbling mess at the mercy of catastrophe.

"Louis." Harry sits on the bed behind me, not forcing me to look at him. "I saw you leave earlier. Never wanted you to come back this way."

I breathe in the clean smell of cheap chlorine from the newly washed pillow cases. It's a less than fancy scent and I scrunch up my nose to avoid inhaling too much of it at one time.

He clears his throat. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." The programmed smile comes back on until my cheeks hurt. Perfectly okay.

"I heard you and Phoebe talking."

I cough and bring my knees closer to my chest, squeezing the air out of me and forcing little wheezing noises on the intake.

"Is that why you're here?"

"Don't." I wish I had the energy to shout. The glucose pump is still in the midst of its job.

"Please just stop pretending like I'm a nice person and you want to be with me."

"You think I'm acting?"

"I know you're acting." I mumble.

"Look at me."

"No."

"Look at me, Louis."

His tone is biting, and it makes me wince from the ordering bark. I turn onto my back then my other side, letting the only thing in my sight be his fist.

"Up."

I raise my gaze to meet his hard stare and he looks angry.

"Why do you think that about yourself?"

"I....I-It's easier."

"Than?"

"Putting myself out there."

"So you'd rather let a worthless prick pick you apart?"

I hide in my pillow, I suddenly don't mind the odour of ammonia.

"Louis." Harry sighs.

When I peek out from under my arm, I see him reaching forward to touch me. I let him until he goes for my waist. I shuffle backward because I didn't like people touching me there if it gave them the unfair opportunity to feel the bones that protrude.

"You going to let me touch you?" He raises his eyebrow, knowing I can see him.

I shake my head and pull the covers closer. "You don't want to."

He exhales and suddenly his mass on the mattress is gone. I panic and prepare to search desperately for him because I wasn't ready. I just didn't want him to touch me and not want to ever again.

"Har-" There's a forceful grip going against mine at the corner of my blanket.

I don't fight because that would mean wasting the glucose that's being pumped into me through a drip in my arm. I am careful to keep that arm at a safe distance and away from any drastic movement.

Harry lifts the covers and my hair's blocking my vision from knowing what he's doing. I whimper from the sudden burst of cold against my skin but it's immediately cut off.

He crawls under the cover with me and I gasp, trying to shift over without falling off the bed. My forearm is grabbed and my body is dragged closer to him until I'm flush against his side.

"What are you doing?" I protest weakly when he pulls me onto his chest. It's firm and warm and perfect. Obviously not meant for me.

"Proving you wrong." He says simply. "You okay?"

"You don't have to." My eyes are already shutting on their own accord, falling asleep to the rhythm of Harry's heart.

"I do."

"This isn't allowed."

He wraps an arm around my middle, letting his fingers dance over the paper-thin gown. I stiffen when he flattens his palm on my hip.

"You could get into trouble. They won't let you come back."

"Let them try."

I try to wrap myself up in as much of Harry's warmth as possible. Then I pause. "Wait! Your burns."

"Morphine." He shrugs. "And some fancy Dutch oil that numbs everything."

"But.....they bleed."

"Bandages. Lou, relax. I'll let you know if I'm hurting. Deal?"

I chew on my lip. "Deal."

My elbows start to shake and I lay myself back down, now attempting to stay away from all his
burns - which is difficult. My feet are nestled between his legs and he hisses when I press them - in their frozen state - against his calves.

"Believe me yet?" He encourages me to rest my head on his shoulder where I can conceal myself in the crook of his still damp neck.

"I want to."

"What's stopping you?"

And just when contentment was on the brink of spilling, Douglas' words present themselves to
fend that good nature off. I felt my throat close and wrists itch as a reminder.

"What did he say?" Harry knows.

"Who?" I play coy.

"Him. He said something that hurt you, that's why you left earlier."

"Oh. Nothing."

"He let this happen. He doesn't deserve you."

"He....He cheated."

"Oh."

"He said I don't deserve you." I murmur.

"Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think he's an idiot."

I grin against Harry's skin in a trivial effort to laugh.

"I think he knew he wasn't worthy of you, so he tried to hurt you to make himself feel better."

"Really?"

"Cross my heart. You don't need to be upset, ever. Know why?"

"Because I'm going to be happy?"

"Because I'm going to make you happy."

The slight correction would ordinarily bring a blush to my flushed cheeks.

It made me aware that I wasn't alone in the battle to get better, it's all anyone ever wants to hear. That they're not alone.

"Are you real?" The brain-to-mouth filter has been severed.

Harry chuckles. "I am and guess what?"

I look up at him expectantly.

"I'm all yours." He stretches - though not needed - to press his lips to my cheek and I mischievously turn so they land on my lips instead.

Slut.

I gasp and pull away completely, covering my mouth with my hand. Looking at Harry with nothing but an apology in my eyes, I shift around frantically until the painful tug of a taped needle forces me to a halt.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Harry grabs me by my hips again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't- I'm sorry. I won't do it again." I ramble, feeling the dam build up again. "Please don't be angry." I couldn't make him mad, he will leave and I'll lose my sanity.

"Lou." He pins my body against his, arms wound tightly around me until I'm flinching and forced to look at him.

I look at him with a bitten lip and sore wrists. He doesn't look angry, more sympathetic because his eyes are their true green instead of a darker shade.

"I like kissing you." Is what he says first, tucking my body into a neat fold with his. "What happened there?"

"Douglas said....." I take the chance to lower my head back to its previous position. "Said I was a slut."

Harry's fingers tightened on my sides and they may have turned my skin red but it doesn't matter. He runs his hand up and down my back, but it feels like it could be a soothing mechanism for him more than me.

"Bastard." He mutters.

"I'm sorry."

"No, love. Not you." He kisses my shoulder. "Never you."

When Harry's hands stop moving, I resist the needy impulse to ask him to carry on.

Pathetic idiot.

Whiny.


Even now you're begging.

I close my eyes, letting a lonesome tear take a stroll down the corner of my eye to soak into Harry's attire.

"Lou?"

"Nothing." I respond immediately to deflect any cause for argument. I had no fight left in me.

Harry sighs and I hate the sound because all it does is tell me that he's close to giving up. He starts to lift me and I look at him, wide-eyed and afraid.

"Relax, Lou." He just positions me on his other side with a kiss to my forehead. "He shouldn't have said those things. He's a jerk."

"I know."

"You're beautiful." Harry kisses my temple. "You're perfect." My eyebrow gets a kiss. "You're funny and cute and adorable."

He has me giggling when he starts kissing down the side of my face.

"Gonna let me kiss you?" He asks innocently with no suggestive motive.

I nod slowly and lean up to press our lips together. No harsh judgments come to mind and I smile into the kiss. I bring myself up so we're sharing the pillow, my fingers gripping his curls as the touch deepens. He holds onto my waist and I onto his hair. Finally pulling apart to breathe, Harry bumps our noses to get my attention.

"When I said I loved you, I meant it." He whispers because any sound too loud wasn't
welcome.

"I know." I snuggle back into his neck. "Will you wait for me to say it too?"

"Till my dying breath, sweetheart."

*NARRATOR'S POV*

When Ed walked into Louis' room, he almost caught a heart attack of shock at what he saw. His son was a lot healthier-looking, sleeping soundly with someone who will hopefully protect him from something like this again. Before Louis' mom can wake either boy up, he closes the door and walks back to the waiting room with a satisfied smile.

[A/N: And I could not resist posting this chapter :'( I'm such a sad person. Okay. Thoughts on this chapter? It's definitely one of my favourites because fluffffffff is the essence of life in my book. Haha love you all! And my hugs go out to everyone (yes, even the little green men). Tata! - S xx]

Notes