Who's going to love me when you're gone?

*NARRATOR'S POV*

Louis tiptoed into his home at six o'clock when everyone was due to wake up. In his opinion, it was nobody's business that he fell asleep at the hospital and was woken by Gemma before their mother got back. Harry was still lost to the world when Louis slipped out the door.
Now, his mother was standing in the kitchen armed with a pancake spatula. "Late night?"

Louis freezes and mentally curses. Shit.

"Excuse me?"

Maybe it wasn't in his head. He sheepishly enters the kitchen to see her flipping pancakes.
"Hey, mom."

"Good morning." She allows him to kiss her cheek and steal a pancake from the tissue-laden saucer. "Spent the night at Douglas'?"

He contemplates telling the truth and decides it's too early for a family rift. "Yeah."

"I didn't hear you leave."

"Hmm? Oh. He called when you were asleep."

"Oh okay. You got mail." She smiles at him, pointing to the edge of the counter where several unopened envelopes lay.

"What?" And for a moment, Louis' mind loses track of everything as he snatches up the notice letters.

He uses his finger to tear open one, receiving and ignoring an evil paper cut in the process.

"What is it?" His mom stretches over the counter to get a peek.

Louis stares at the paper, reading a few words at the time. A long notification is positioned under the logo of King's University in London, but he's read all he needed to.

"I got in." The paper starts to shake, his hand trembling. "Oh my God. I got in!"

"Oh I'm so proud of you, angel." His mother hugs him from the side, happy tears on her cheeks. "So proud."

Louis beams up at her when he hugs her back. His dad walks into the kitchen, an eyebrow quirked at the scene before him and Phoebe on his tail.

"What did I miss?" Mr. Tomlinson asks.

"I got into King's!" Louis cheers and his dad grins too, winking subtly at his son's achievement.

"Celebratory drink after work today?"

"Sure." Louis can't stop smiling. He wants to tell everybody.

"I don't have to work today." His mom offers.

"We can all go in the afternoon." Louis replies, already shifting eagerly in his seat. "I have to tell
him."

Harry. "Douglas."

"But you just got back. Let us spend some time with you then you can go."

"Okay." He settles back down and helps a zombie-like Phoebe onto a stool next to him.

"Morning, little one."

"Shh." She bats his hand away from her hair. "Congratulations, Lou."

"Thanks, bub."

They nudge each other's elbows until their breakfasts are ready and Louis is all but high on
caffeine.

"Have a good day." He tells his parents when they're about to leave with Phoebe.

"Bye, Lou!" Phoebe waves and he waves back at his baby sister.

***

Harry woke up and stayed up. His eyes burned and his fingers twitched, the tips and his nose were red but cold. He had been this way for three solid hours.

The doctor had changed his bandages and he was now allowed to move around the hospital. Since the rehab center would take a while to re-establish, a special wing of the hospital has been dedicated to them.

He didn't need an IV like a few others, but hospital gowns were the only permitted items of clothing. Gemma and Anne weren't allowed to stay any longer because after the new arrangement had been made, they needed fresh permission to be allowed in. They weren't on Harry's visitor's list yet. Only Louis was.

Harry didn't expect for said boy to stroll into his room at lunchtime bearing food under his jacket. He wanted to spend time with Louis when he wasn't exhausted, and his wounds were healing nicely now.

"Hi Lou." Harry sits on his bed.

"Hey." Louis crosses his legs under him at the foot of Harry's bed. Harry's feet needed to be shoved to the side to allow this and he didn't mind.

"How are you?"

"Really, Harold?" Louis was beyond giddy with excitement, he simply could not be held liable for anything that left his mouth.

"What?" Harry smirks, studying Louis' smile.

"You're really asking me that? How old are you?" Louis is careful to hide the food from any passing officials while Harry laughs.

"It's a polite question."

"I deem it silly."

Harry's shoulders shake with laughter and he rests his back against the wall. He pulls forward immediately because that still hurt even though he forgot momentarily.

"You aren't drunk, are you?" Harry accuses, leaning forward with a wince to steal a taco.

"Do you take me for a barbarian? Of course not. Are you?" Louis munches away on his food.

"Certainly. There's a mini bar under my bed."

Louis rolls his eyes and throws a balled up piece of wrapping paper at him. "That's just cruel."

"So why are you like this?"

"If you must know, I got a letter back from the college I applied to."

Harry's eyes widen. "And?"

"I'm accepted!" Louis drops his head after the outburst. He didn't want to get kicked out.

Harry is cackling uncontrollably at Louis' behaviour.

"Oh shut it, will you?!" Louis finishes his meal and throws the dirt into a nearby bin.

"You're cute."

Louis gasps. "I'm spoken for."

Harry's expression sobers. "Yeah. Him. Does he....know?"

Louis notices this change and crawls closer to Harry, whose one leg is swinging off the bed and allowing him to settle next to it. "Wasn't answering my calls."

Harry frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Happens sometimes."

"What does?" Harry's forgotten about the taco in his hand.

"Fights. He's very.....-"

"Suffocating?"

"Yeah. That. We fight and he gets stubborn for a few days."

"What did you fight about?"

"Doesn't matter." Louis shakes his head. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Remember what I asked you last night?"

"Yeah." He did, it was about them. About Harry's conjured-up storyline that he would never let go of.

"C-Could you tell me?"

"You really want to know?" Harry looks away at the door then back to Louis. "As in, you and not someone else who told you to ask me."

"I'm asking." Louis eyes the taco Harry's abandoned. "But eat that first. I paid for it."

Harry nods and tries to finish eating as fast as he can.

It doesn't take more than forty seconds before he makes the mistake of reaching out to Louis - who was distracted by his phone - and pulling him closer. The first thing wrong, was that his burns made him hiss and grit his teeth when Louis' skin pressed against them. Second, Louis tensed and gasped when he registered what Harry was doing.

Harry couldn't help it because, for a moment it felt good again. He apologised with his eyes and Louis gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"It's fine." Louis says softly. "'S cold anyway."

Harry bites the inside of his cheek and wrapped his leg around Louis' back on the mattress. His limbs were cold and Louis didn't object to Harry's burn bandages on his thigh being so close to him. It looked awkward but it felt like home.

"Warm enough?" Louis raises an eyebrow.

Harry hums and thinks about where to start.

Louis decides to help out. "How did we start?"

All it does is make Harry's heart beat faster, like a love-sick teenager. Harry really thinks about it before taking a deep breath. Louis had brought his short legs up to his chest, chin perched on his knees with his Pacman socks on display as he paid attention.

"You came to my home." Harry said, staring into Louis' eyes and recognising a little bit of familiar green in them. "At night with a few of your friends. I....-"

"What?" Louis seemed already drawn in.

"I knew I wanted to be someone special to you from that moment. You were small-" Harry doesn't miss Louis' frown. "-and I really wanted to protect you."

And so Harry tells Louis. He starts at the moment they first locked gazes, and doesn't miss out a single detail, emotion, smile or frown. He tells it like it's a brand new legend and to him, it is. Louis is enraptured by the intricacy of this fantasy, forgetting completely about the six missed calls on his iPhone screen.

Harry narrates and Louis listens. Louis hears about moments he wishes he really experienced, like when they had spent three nights on the living room floor with a mattress. Their intimacy was something that made Louis blush, because he'd never gotten to be a part of that.
Louis may have started playing with Harry's much larger hand at the point when Harry's mother had terrorised them with flickering lights while they were on the couch. Harry held him through it and now Louis held Harry's hand, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder.

"You're cold." Harry observes, ringing their fingers together.

"Thanks." Louis just didn't know what else to say and his voice came out high-pitched from being quiet for so long.

Harry's eyes dart from his freezing nose to his eyes and to his lips. Cautiously reaching forward, he parted Louis' numbed legs and flattened them to the bed. He wanted to see when Louis would stop him.

Fortunately, he didn't even when Harry cupped his cheek with his abnormally large hand. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together briefly. It felt like home again.

Louis gasps and opens his eyes from their trance. "No."

"Yes." Harry holds onto Louis' wrist, not tightening his grip but showing his urgency.

No one would love Louis can Harry can and that's what he's trying to convey. He guides Louis' free hand up to his neck and drops it there.

"Yes?" Louis is whispering, eyes closed again and lips parted.

Harry's face is the distance of the width of a page away from Louis' inhaling Louis' scent shakily. He nods and their foreheads press together. "Yes."

"Okay." And he sounded so vulnerable then that Harry couldn't stop himself from kissing Louis.

He held onto Louis with both hands, cupping both sides of his face and holding him extremely close because if the smaller boy strayed too far, he'd never get him back. Louis fists the front of Harry's hospital gown, with two tiny hands and let Harry lick into his mouth a little.

"Tell me more." Louis breathes in pants.

Harry brushes his lips against Louis jaw then returns to his mouth. "We ran away together."
Louis' eyes flutter when Harry gives his attention to Louis' neck, hooking a finger on the collar of his shirt and pulling it aside.

"We can do it again." Harry mouths against Louis' keening collarbones. "Run away to
somewhere they can't find us."

"You're hurt." Louis noses at Harry's temple until he comes back up to kiss him.

"Anything." Harry kisses the corner of Louis' mouth. "I'd do anything for you."

"What else?"

Louis felt all his insecurities surface. Like every word Harry said was a figurative band-aid that fixed one of his problems. He needed to let himself hear this.

"We...." Harry's bottom lip quivered and Louis kissed it, leading to another breathless kiss.

"We what?" Louis could have been pleading.

"We made love." Harry kisses his chin. "All the time."

Louis whimpers because he wanted that with someone he could see forever with.

"I took care of you, Lou." Harry nips at Louis' neck and the smaller male bares his throat. Harry made him ready to bare his soul.

"Y-You did?" Louis was tearing and Harry only saw it when he opened his eyes.

Harry nods, thumbing the stray tears away and kissing the damp patches of soft skin.

"I took care of you. Kept you safe." Harry kissed Louis' forehead and both his temples. "I never let you cry and I loved you. God, Lou. I loved you so much."

Louis didn't want to cry. He never thought such a happy day would turn into this, it felt like a departure and a reunion in one. It felt like Louis was the one who was sick and forgot all the love Harry had given him. He felt that way and didn't know why.

"My love was - is - unconditional, unrequited and only yours to have. I'm yours to have. Do you want my love, Lou?"

Louis was well-read. He'd been through all the romantic novels that a person could read in a lifetime. From Jane Eyre down to the books with even a hint of romance. He wasted his early years in dreams and lost many years to his elaborate daydreams.

Nobody got a person like Harry. But he did, there was something amazing he'd done that afforded him this reward. It wasn't like he didn't deserve this, he remained pure for all his life in the hopes of finding that perfect someone.

Then Douglas came along and Louis saw an endless adventure with the new and older man. Excitement grew and eventually Louis gave everything to him.
It went to the dogs when Douglas started drinking and showed his true colours. Louis could never let go because despite being a man, he was terrified. He had no one to protect him.

"Yes." Louis exhales against Harry's mouth and the older boy takes it in because it was Louis.
This seemed to fuel Louis because he pressed himself closer to Harry and nodded. "Yes. Yes please."

Harry tilts his chin up to kiss Louis once, twice and four times more. Louis blushes a deep red and smiles shyly. In every story, they had to go through difficulties and tragedy. This was their hardship and this was Louis' love story.

"You and I." Harry kisses Louis' Adam's Apple. "You and I forever."

Then it came crashing down for them.

Louis' mom banged on the door with her fist. Louis jumped but Harry held on.

"Lou?" Harry murmurs.

Louis doesn't get a word in before his mother's dragging him away by his elbow then his ear.

Things moved at a snail's pace and there was no sound for the two of them. Louis blocked out everything and only saw Harry, the foresty orbs was the only colour Louis knew. He knew this was dangerous because nobody fell like him, this hard and this fast. He got his heart broken this way.

Louis was being dragged into an elevator and Harry's image kept getting smaller.
Louis can't blame Harry for not fighting at that moment, because he did.
Harry held Louis' hand tightly until it got numb and eventually stopped feeling anything. Louis pleaded with his eyes and Harry scrambled off the bed to get to him.

[A/N: My favourite chapter :'( because I lost weight with the tears I shed writing it :'( *sniffles* Opinions?]

Notes